Many say sex is meant to be fun.
Especially when you’re young and in a new relationship.
It’s also supposed to stay fun with age.
But that fun can take work.
For some, that fun is loud and boisterous.
So loud that it can make others feel uncomfortable.
That’s a fun conversation to have with strangers.
“Can you please turn down your acrobatic lovemaking?”
Case in point…
Redditor Throwrayyy111 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for complaining about the couple in the hotel room next door?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I 38 F[emale] am on vacation in Europe with my husband 41M[ale].”
“We have been together for 14 years and this is our first trip without our kids.”
“Part of the reason we have taken this trip is to ‘rekindle the relationship.'”
“This is a two-week trip and we are on day 9, for context, we have had sex once.”
“We were both drunk, and I think we both forced it a bit.”
“We get on great as people, but our sex life has been an issue since we had children.”
“This has only gotten worse since last year my husband told me he ‘loves me but doesn’t find me attractive sexually anymore,’ which was upsetting and hurtful as in the past three years I have gained over 100lbs.”
“We are staying in an amazing 5-star resort. The hotel rooms have their own small pool and terrace to sit out on.”
“Since we arrived, my husband has found issues with nearly everything, the hotel, the staff, the food, and the other guests.”
“Five days ago in the room next door, a young British couple took the room.”
“For context, they are both very attractive.”
“if I found out they were Instagram models or something I would not be shocked.”
“The issue is each room shares a wall with another room, and we share a room and a lower balcony where we can see the terrace with this couple.”
“Since they have arrived, we have heard them having sex more or less twice a day.”
“In addition, when they are sitting on the terrace, they are kissing and all over each other. In addition, the woman next door is sunbathing topless.”
“I know we are in Europe, and that’s the norm, but I find it hard to get used to.”
“My husband quickly befriended them over the balcony, and truthfully I think lusting over the woman next door.”
“Who, I think, was oblivious to this.”
“I have also spoken to them both, and they seem nice.”
“After being woken in the middle of the night two nights ago to the sound of them having sex, and again that morning; I went and asked the concierge if they could ask them to keep it down.”
“Obviously, having been told something, last night the man next door angrily told my husband if he had an issue, he should have said something directly.”
“My husband did not know I had reported it, and we then argued all yesterday evening.”
“My husband called me ridiculous and a prude and that if I were ‘more carefree,’ we wouldn’t have any issues.”
“I also brought up his obvious liking of the woman next door, and he angrily said, ‘Why wouldn’t I? She is young, thin, and hot’ which was an obvious dig of what I am not.”
“He then angrily walked around the hotel room before going to sleep in silence.”
“This morning, I woke up to a text that he had gone to hike up a hill/mountain.”
“This takes all day, and we had decided earlier in the trip we wouldn’t do it.”
“Since he returned, we have hardly spoken, and we were supposed to go out for dinner, but he has suggested we just order room service.”
“Looking for a bit of context if complaining about the couple next door was as bad as he is making out.”
“AITA for complaining about the couple next door? Or is he the **shole for leaving me in the hotel all day on vacation?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA OP, I know you’re hoping we’ll judge you vs. your husband, but that’s not the thing that’s ultimately at the core of the ‘AITA’ judgment.”
“You took out your insecurities and dissatisfaction with your vacation on a couple on their own vacation.”
“You could’ve talked with them directly since there clearly was some communication if your issue was actually with them.”
“Instead, you were mad at your husband and decided that SOMEONE needed to be punished. Why not the people triggering your insecurity?”
“Yes, your husband is an a**hole, and you need to work that out with him- but you don’t need to take out your pettiness on bystanders.” ~ Baileythenerd
“Yes, and I feel so terrible for her.”
“After having my kids and battling severe depression, I put on about the same amount of weight as OP.”
“My husband still touches me, talks about me, gushes over me, and wants to have sex with me now as he did a decade ago.”
“I’m not winning any beauty pageants, but we are in love.”
“He makes me feel beautiful every day, even when I don’t see it in myself.”
“I feel so sad for OP that her husband does not.”
“The one person he promised to love and cherish for the rest of their lives, in sickness and health, and from her post, he makes her feel like s**t.”
“He’s not concerned about her health.”
“He’s concerned about his sexual gratification.”
“My husband and I have hard conversations about health, and now that I finally have insurance, I can go to some doctors, but I never once doubted his dedication or attraction to me.”
“I just feel awful for OP. I wish someone loved her and made her feel beautiful.”
“Maybe she should go find them.” ~ coatisabrownishcolor
“Husband here on the other side.”
“My wife is beautiful, put on 75-100 pounds, and no longer finds herself attractive.”
“Nothing I say or do relieves this insecurity.”
“My daughter is four, and we’ve been intimate less than 20 times total in the four years since.”
“Our marriage is effectively destroyed. Only a question of how long I can hang on.”
“To go back to OP’s situation, I feel like she’s the pillow princess here.”
“She mentions sex is forced. Someone is topless, etc.”
“just feels kind of prudish, and I guarantee hearing others have sex is only a reminder to him of what he doesn’t have.” ~ bmathey
“She doesn’t say whether she misses sex or not.”
“I think the other couple is a reminder to herself about their lack.”
“I’m guessing that this vacation, without children, she imagined was supposed to be a long ‘romantic getaway’ but still hasn’t become one.”
“Sounds like she has put the children/family ahead of their relationship over the years or between them.”
“I also wonder what happened 3-4 years ago that caused her to gain all that weight?” ~ pisspot718
“I have a feeling this is more about herself.”
“If you don’t feel sexy, you don’t want to have sex.”
“While I am not condoning OPs husbands actions, she does have a responsibility to take here.”
“She is 38 years old.”
“That is still pretty young.”
“They should still be an active and sexually active couple.”
“While he should love her regardless, love and attraction do not always go hand in hand.”
“Her husband is an AH for how he treated her, but he’s not an AH for not being attracted to her.”
“She has said nothing about doing anything to help those insecurities, and that’s not his fault; it’s hers.”
“100 lbs is very significant.”
“And no matter what else is going on, she clearly doesn’t feel good about herself.” ~ Arlaneutique
“Thank you for pointing out that her health needs to be a priority.”
“OP, I’m torn between ESH and YTA, but it’s the latter for the transference.”
“Your husband should be more supportive. That said, you hopefully can admit to yourself that a person can have a very difficult time trying to control what they’re attracted to sexually.”
“It may take your husband some time to adjust, and that’s assuming he can at all.”
“He’s handling it with all the maturity of a 13-year-old.”
“But at the end of the day, you’re both still only human and prone to hamhatesque decisions.”
“I hope you can find a better way forward for both of you.” ~ CatecaenDamnation
“We agree, YTA.”
“Your husband is also TA.”
“The couple are innocent victims, and the way you behaved towards them and reported them is as much of a bad look as the way hubby spoke to you when he got angry at you.” ~ PrissyBarbie
OP came back with an Update…
“Thank you all for the comments.”
“This wasn’t a post about my weight or how attractive I have become (or not).”
“For the sake of clarity, I have gained 100 lbs since I got pregnant in 2019, around 50 lbs during pregnancy.”
“I was unwell and on bed rest.”
“The rest of the weight is from having three young children, a pandemic, and working from home.”
“I am working on losing it.”
“To be clear, my husband has also gained around 60 lbs – which I am sure is not relevant but seemed important given some of the comments.”
“I understand. Maybe it was an AH thing to report them to the desk.”
“I am not going to reply to any other comments, just as a lot of the response appears to be weight related, which was never my original intention.”
“Thanks again for the comments.”
Well, OP, Reddit has some issues and deep concerns about this situation.
In the end, tattling on your neighbors isn’t the problem.
Yes, you could’ve spoken to them directly, but they’ll get over it.
It sounds like you and the hubby need some serious help.
When you get home, maybe it’s time for some family therapy.
You’re both struggling with a lot.
Hopefully, once you’re communicating better, the next vacation will be more successful.
Good luck.