We all have our fair share of interests, but there are only certain hobbies that we care about enough that we imagine them becoming something more, something that could become a career or even make us famous.
But it’s hard to work toward those dreams if we have an unsupportive partner, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor RoyalBeggers33 was tired of waiting for his wife to not only prepare their meals but also to take aesthetically-pleasing pictures to share on her cooking-related social media accounts.
But when she was distraught over him being to eat before she could take her latest pictures, the Original Poster (OP) questioned what the big deal was.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for ruining my wife’s work and eating the food before she could take pictures of it?”
The OP was tired of his wife’s picture-taking habits.
“My wife runs a website dedicated to cooking and recipes.”
“For this, she takes pictures of food before we eat, whether it’s lunch or dinner, and posts them on her Instagram ‘foodstagram’ account.”
“To be honest, I’m annoyed by having to wait so long for her to ‘get the perfect shot’ of the food after decorating it, adding this fork, and removing that salad dish.”
“It just takes so long and I lose my appetite from just waiting until she’s done.”
The OP decided not to wait at the latest meal together.
“This has become the norm but yesterday, I decided I was having none of it.”
“I came to found that she has cooked an entire feast as her ‘next cooking project’ and put it on the table.”
“Note that by looking at the whole table setting, I figured pictures had already been taken, right?”
“But no, she said she was ‘gOiNg to take a few pictures’ and I had to wait. She went upstairs to get her camera.”
“That’s when I grabbed the spoon and started filling my plate from every dish she’d made and ‘ruined’ the look as a result.”
“I was hungry and unwilling to wait around for 10+ more minutes to eat.”
His wife was overwhelmed by what the OP had done.
“She came downstairs, saw the ‘damage,’ and blew up, almost crying, and saying I just ruined the cooking project that she worked for hours on and put effort into.”
“I said I was hungry and couldn’t wait.”
“She kept yelling how much of an obnoxious jerk I was for not waiting until she took pictures of the dishes she made.”
“She even said that this was an ‘AttEmPt by me to sabotage her success.'”
“I said, ‘Oh please, enough with those conspiracy theories. I’m just hungry and couldn’t wait until you got the perfect shot.'”
This led to an argument.
“We had a big argument, and she went upstairs crying.”
“I finished my food and then went out to cool off a bit.”
“When I returned, she threatened that she’ll never have me eat anything she cooks again.”
“She said she’d rather throw it in the garbage than give it to an ungrateful, obnoxious jerk like me.”
“I said this wasn’t cool, but she told me to go f**k myself.”
“I said fine and then went to spend the night in the guestroom.”
“She texted me the word ‘jerk’ about 15 times before I turned my phone off. Today she has gone complete radio silence.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the OP was being incredibly immature about his wife’s efforts.
“YTA, what the actual f**k. Sounds like this is her job or at minimum an important hobby. Keep a Lunchable and a juice box in the fridge for when you need to act like a child.” – km89
“When my kid was young, one of the restaurants we’d go to would give kids a cup of goldfish crackers to tide them over until the meal comes. Maybe he needs a cup of goldfish crackers and a placemat to color on.” – amb123abc
“YTA.”
“My favorite part was him somehow needing to ‘cool off’ as if she had done anything to him and he had anything in the world to be upset about.”
“I sure hope that fresh air helped OP to calm down from having gotten what he wanted; that must have been so upsetting for him.” – Youcannotbeforreal2
“When he said, ‘I finished MY food.’ No sir, you didn’t. You finished her food. The food SHE prepared.”
“There is literally nothing she asked of you, except to wait for her to take a picture. You knew this and just said, ‘f**k her, I’m going to eat anyways.'”
“And then you portrayed this as, ‘Well, what else was I supposed to do?’ like grabbing a snack or waiting a couple minutes like a civilized human was just out of the question.”
“You are a JERK. Why couldn’t you cook for yourself? You probably were out that day, why not buy something to eat, if you were just soooo hungry? YTA.” – JKaldran
Others agreed and said the OP also wasn’t being supportive.
“He doesn’t care about her efforts to stand up. He is some type of jealous guy. OP, don’t you have any shame? I hope your wife reconsiders your relationship. Every word your wife said have a point, YTA.” – BOSSBABY3
“All that hard work down the drain. And she runs an actual website, it’s not like she’s taking pictures for no reason. YTA.” – NoUsernamesDangit
“It always reminds me of… the misogynistic vibe I had from those videos going around for a while of people messing up food pictures at restaurants their female partner or friend was taking, on purpose, that circulated for a while.”
“If it is a hobby they enjoy, why are you so down on it? Is it because it’s ‘girly’? Or is it just because it’s hers in particular? Either way, it always felt… icky.”
“H**l, my fiancé got sick of watching me painfully try to balance my phone on weird items to take videos and pictures of stuff all the time.”
“Did he harm it like OP did, like knock it over on purpose or mess up the shot while I was trying to figure out balancing the camera?”
“No. He got me an adjustable tripod and remote, so it went faster and was easier, and learned how to use it himself, too, so he could help.” – bos-tea-party
“YTA for a few reasons:”
“SHE cooked the food. If she wants you to wait a few minutes before eating, that’s her prerogative.”
“This is her JOB. How would you feel if she destroyed something for your job?”
“This took a large investment of her time. It’s clear you don’t value her time or what she does.” – guavajo-44
“I feel like they may have had a genuine point about so many meals revolving around stuff for her Instagram account, having to wait and wait, but the way he did deliberately sabotage her presentation as much as he could seems so childish and petty.”
“Why not talk about it? Why not suggest leaving some in a pot on the stove?”
“Doing it while she was out of the room and saying he couldn’t wait? His needing to cool down after his deliberate attempt to hurt her feelings? And then actually hurting her feelings, and acting like it was a surprise she acted the way he intended?”
“YTA.” – Buggerlugs2523
Some also judged the OP majorly for the ‘conspiracy theory’ line.
“Let’s not forget he took some from EVERY dish. Obviously a spiteful choice. If it was just hunger and there was somehow absolutely nothing else in the fridge or cupboards, he could have eaten from ONE side dish so she could still have photos for her business.”
“But no. He went full a**hole and made sure not a single dish was spared in his tantrum.” – TheOtherZebra
“Dude, she worked hard on it, and you couldn’t wait a few minutes while she took pictures? If you can’t stand the wait, then make your own food.”
“You DID do it to sabotage her since you KNEW that she hadn’t taken any photos yet. Apologize to your wife.” – Zuzara_The_DND_Queen
“Conspiracy theory, my a**. He’s a hater. I bet he leaves hate comments, too, because his food was 10 minutes late. What an entitled AH.” – Altruistic_Usual_855
“The whole ‘enough with the conspiracy’ line really got me. I’m thinking that he’s done this many times and is trying to gaslight her into thinking she’s overreacting, but this time was just too blatant for it to work.” – Feisty-Sympathy2942
“The sabotage was pretty evident when he said that he grabbed some from every single dish. This wasn’t, ‘I’m starving, let me take a quick bite from one, and we can cover it up by moving the dish around.'”
“This was, ‘Think she’s all that with her website. Screw her. I’ll show her who’s boss around here.'” – ShockAndAwe415
“My ‘conspiracy theory’ is that she’s finally making decent money at this and OP’s poor manhood is threatened.”
“After all, if she makes ENOUGH money, she could just leave his ungrateful a**.”
“Thank god I met my husband when we were both broke, and he’s fine with me making more money, because now we’re both out here killing it.”
“OP, YTA.” – forensicgirla
While the OP may have been hungry, the subReddit was frustrated by the other options that he had, whether that meant making a snack, having some food that may have been left on the stove from setting the table, or even simply waiting.
His wife has a website for her cooking, which likely means that this is important to her or it provides an income for her. The least the husband could do is be supportive.