After giving birth, just about every mother will tell you that everything they went through in the nine months leading up to the joyous day was so worth it.
And indeed, pregnancy comes with many, many inconveniences, both physical and emotional.
With this in mind, their partners, as well as close friends and family, will do everything they can to keep pregnant women as comfortable as they possibly can.
Redditor Solid-Extension-3315 was doing his best to keep his wife, who is expecting their first child, as happy as possible.
However, one recent request was simply too much for the original poster (OP) to handle.
Unfortunately, the OP’s wife did not take kindly to his declining this request, resulting in the OP finding himself forced to call her out.
Wondering if he was being insensitive to his wife, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not cooking my pregnant wife dessert?”
The OP explained how things quickly escalated after he told his wife he was unable to fulfill her request.
“I (29 M[ale]) have a wife who is 6 months pregnant.”
“She doesn’t work she wants to be a stay at home mom while I work which is completely fine.”
“Recently her hormones (or at least I hope it’s the hormones) have been very angry towards me I’ve been trying to help her through out it and give her any craving she wants even going out at 1 in the morning to get her some lemon juice.”
“The other day I had a long day at work and was very tired and I just wanted to go home and sleep.”
“When I got home my wife greeted me and then asked me if I’d bake her a cookie cake that she’s been craving because she likes how I make it.”
“I apologized to her saying I’m tired and would make it for her tomorrow when I come back from work and bring her some panda express.”
“She started saying that she’s the one who’s pregnant and that I shouldn’t be tired.”
“I didn’t answer her I was tired and went upstairs to sleep but she kept yelling at me she’s craving cookie cake and she wants it now so I told her to stop being a brat and wait for tomorrow.”
“She slammed the door on me and went downstairs.”
“She’s never acted like this before being pregnant.”
“So, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for declining to make her a cookie cake and calling her a brat.
While everyone did sympathize with the OP’s condition, they also felt that it didn’t give her the right to behave the way she did towards the OP, agreeing that even if he wasn’t pregnant, he also had the right to be too tired to do something.
“NTA.”
“Yes, pregnancy is hard (and harder for some than others) but it’s not an excuse to be rude and unreasonably demanding to people you love.”
“Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean you’re also not tired.”- Allaboutbird
“NTA.”
“Being pregnant doesn’t give her a get out of jail free card for bratty behavior.”
“And you’re not in a competition about who has the right to be tired.”- PJfanRI
“NTA.”
“Yeah, she’s having a kid and growing a baby, but you also get to sleep, too.”
“She doesn’t get to yell when her every craving isn’t instantly granted.”
“You aren’t a genie.”- KronkLaSworda
“NTA.”
“Pregnancy might be an explanation for her behavior, but it’s not an excuse.”
“She’s being an a**hole.”- JsCTmav
“NTA.”
“A whole a** cookie cake???”
“No.”- CanLive7943
“Apparently some women use the excuse of pregnancy to let their entitlement go rampant.”
“Don’t fall for that OP, NTA.”
“Plus this is the perfect time for her to brush up on her baking skills.”- Worldly_Bug_2487
“NTA.”
“That’s simply not how things work.”
“I know everyone on Reddit always recommends therapy, but honestly you two need to sort some things out before the baby comes.”
“Pregnancy is a massive life change, and it’s really hard and I’m sure your wife is tired.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t also be tired, especially if she’s going to be a SAHM and all the weight of bringing in money is on your shoulders.”- Sensitive_Exit_3154
“Oh sheesh.”
“‘Hey, I really really want this cookie cake’.”
“‘Can you make it for me sometime soon?'”
“Reasonable.”
“Treating you like a jerk because you are tired is totally unreasonable.”
“I assume you do indulge her sometimes.”
“This from a mom of 3.”- runnin-on-coffee
“NTA.”
“She is pregnant not in a vegetive state.”
“She can handle things by herself, and even more so if she is still in the second trimester, invalidating you and your effort is a**holery.”
“If she becomes more demanding over time then you definitely need to have a sit down”-Schulle2105
“NTA.”
“That’s not hormones, that’s pure and simple crazy.”- mizfit0416
“NTA.”
“Being pregnant doesn’t give her immunity to be TA.”
“And you’re right, her actions were bratty.”
“She should apologize and be grateful that you’re doing the best you can and that can bake a cake.”- KyotoDreamsTea
“NTA.”
“You WORKED all day (not just sat around) and she wants to whine and cry because she can’t have a cake?”
“You have every right to be tired from WORKING to allow her to not have to.”- EbonyDoe
“NTA.”
“I have had 3 kids, being rude and selfish is NOT a pregnancy thing.”
“Why do women act like being pregnant is a reason to get everything we want and when we want it?”
“It’s insane!”- Wise_Bonus_9611
“NTA.”
“She doesn’t get to monopolize the concept of being tired.”
“What an utter load is bs.”- HeirOfRavenclaw
“Sure her hormones could’ve made her say that and yes that still makes her the a**hole.”
“She also COULD HAVE MADE THE CAKE for herself in the 8+ hours she was home alone while OP was working.”
“You are all acting as if OP is doing nothing and is not doing anything for their relationship while out working, he’s working to ALLOW the wife to be able to be a SAHM.”
“WHEN THE WIFE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BABY TO TAKE CARE OF YET.”
“It’s actually ridiculous to ridicule the husband for basically receiving verbal abuse when he tries to have her understand and say no to BAKING A CAKE.”
“Especially when he is actively working to be able to allow the wife to be a SAHM.”- This-Secretary3320
“NTA, you get to be tired as well.”
“And being six months pregnant without complications and any other obligations throughout the day, she should be able to make her own cookie cake.”
“Being pregnant is no excuse for being an entitled AH.”
“Women shouldn’t use pregnancy as an excuse to do absolutely nothing and demand everything from their husbands/bf’s.”
“Of course, a pregnancy with complications is a different story.”
“FYI, I am a woman myself and have been pregnant three times.”
“The amount of times I made ridiculous requests: 0.”- Sara_1987
“NTA.”
“I’m also 6 months pregnant, if I wanted a cookie cake that bad I would have A) made it myself B) ordered one C) gone to the local grocery store and picked one up.”
“She’s not working.”
“You just got in from work, you’re tired, and now she wants a freshly baked cookie cake.”
“You’re also allowed to be tired.”
“Also doesn’t give her the right to act like that and wait on you hand and foot.”- beena1993
“‘She kept yelling she wants cake now’.”
“How old is she, 5?”- atwyas
“NTA.”
“She’s being very inconsiderate, it’s like she thinks you work for her or something.”
“Cravings are not life-ending, do-or-die events.”
“There is really no reason why she should be so tired she couldn’t be taking care of a lot of her cravings herself.”
“Frankly, I think it’s very unhealthy for her to rely on you so much.”
“It’s not good for her mental health and will feed an obvious need she has to be pampered and it’s not good for your relationship.”
“Relationships need balance, give and take, respect and consideration, right now your boat is taking on some serious water.”- dessertkiller
“NTA.”
“Yikes.”
“I have 3 kids and never could see myself acting this entitled.”
“Your wife has serious issues.”- reeserdog
“I’m pregnant.”
“Have been before, now way into the third trimester and it’s hard.”
“I, on the other hand, am NOT an a**hole to my husband.”
“I’m not a stay-at-home mother either, I work.”
“If I crave something and my husband can grab it on his way from work: fantastic.”
“Otherwise I’ll go myself.”
“I have also been able to just be like ‘it’s 2 in the morning. I can get it tomorrow’.”
“It’s not like I’m going to unalive myself bc of a ‘missed craving’.”
“You’re NTA.”
“At all.”
“Your wife is though.”- trudesaa
There’s no denying that pregnancy comes with unexpected cravings.
Even so, expecting anyone to bake a cookie cake from scratch, after a long day at work no less, is a bit much.
As is telling anyone when they should and shouldn’t be tired.
Hopefully, after both the OP and his wife get a good night’s sleep, they’ll both be able to move past this.
The OP might even be excited to bake his famous cookie cake.