When our partner doesn’t know how to do something, it is hard to balance support and frustration.
If someone is bad at cooking, you want to encourage them to learn, but also want to eat good food. So, finding the right words is hard.
Redditor HomeTown11____ encountered this very issue with her husband. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA For lashing out after my husband ruined the food I prepared for our guests?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained.
“Me (female, 26) and my husband (male, 33) Mike have been married for a year now. He doesn’t cook.”
“He’s bad at it. His cooking is the worst despite learning from books/YouTube videos/me teaching him.”
“It just never works.”
“Every time he steps a foot into the kitchen it turns into a mess. I don’t know how.”
“He doesn’t know how. Maybe because he’s constantly busy with work (Police Officer) and is used to fast food.”
But they figured out what works for them.
“But he’s good at other things. So we’ve agreed that I handle cooking. He handles chores.”
“Everything was going well. However recently he’s been getting involved in my cooking.”
“Basically making comments about what ingredients I should/should not add and I try to take it under consideration but only if he’s being reasonable.”
“Lately he’s been waiting for when I prepare dinner or lunch then sneaks in and adds extra salt/paper/spices/other ingredients that completely ruin the meal.”
“First It was a mystery to me. Had me questioning myself—why I added too much salt or spices.”
“He admitted he was the one adding extra ingredients and messing up my cooking. The meals are no longer edible.”
“I’ve told him to not try to get involved in something he doesn’t have experience with. I’ve basically been eating out for a week now because of him.”
Then, they had guests.
“Last night we had my family visiting. I took the entire day preparing meals.”
“He helped out by going to the grocery stores. I noticed he bought stuff from the grocery store that I wasn’t allowed to see.”
“I figured ‘probably some snacks’.”
“As we were about to eat dinner, my mom and dad suddenly looked grossed out and said they couldn’t eat cause the food had so much salt in it. I was confused.”
“I asked them to try another dish, which was too spicy for them to eat. My dad had an upset stomach and he almost threw up.”
“He has high blood pressure and salt wasn’t good for him. Mike kept acting confused.”
“My mom and dad couldn’t eat anything I made. I knew Mike had something to do with it.”
OP figured out what happened.
“My parents left and I felt ashamed. I asked Mike then I blew up after he admitted he went behind my back to add ingredients that he thought were gonna make my food better.”
“I lashed out at him.”
“Told him he ruined my work after spending hours and made my parents feel uncomfortable. Adding too much salt KNOWING my dad has high blood pressure.”