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Guy Lashes Out At Spouse For Going Through His Pants Pockets Before Washing Them

Laundry in Washing Machine
Rafa Elias/Getty Images

It’s amazing the number of things people lose when they’re doing laundry.

Be it a tube of chapstick, a shopping list, or that candy bar we were saving for later, we sometimes forget to empty our pockets before throwing our clothes in the wash.

This is why it is always imperative to make sure our pockets are empty before we throw them in the machine!

Something Redditor Leigh20220 always did before they started a load of laundry.

Lucky they did too, for when the original poster (OP) was emptying their husband’s pants, they found something which would have fallen victim to the wash.

When their husband realized this, however, they did not respond in the way the OP expected.

Having second thoughts about their actions, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for searching my husband’s pants without asking him first?”

The OP explained how their husband was less than thrilled to see them going through their usual routine when doing laundry.

“My husband (33) used to be unemployed for a year.”

“He recently started a job at a warehouse.”

“Yesterday, and while I was about to do the laundry, I grabbed his work pants and dug my hand in its pockets to empty them before putting them in the washing machine like I always do.”

“My husband just happened to walk by and when he saw me searching his pants pockets.”

“He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down.”

“I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it and then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn’t be getting my hands on his things.”

“I was genuinely dumbfounded I told him to take it easy, I always do this before laundry.”

“He lashed out saying I had no right and should’ve come to him and asked him first because he was worried about important documents getting lost like the one I pulled out.”

“I said important documents shouldn’t be inside his pockets and asked to see the paper but he said he won’t show me.”

“I asked why and he said I don’t get to ask him jack sh*t after I disrespected his privacy.”

“I almost laughed because what privacy does he have in his pockets?”

“It wasn’t like a stranger was digging into them.”

“He refused to speak to me and later brought a new closet with A LOCK and moved his clothes inside of it.”

“I asked if he was serious and he said this will teach me to respect his privacy and deter my snooping.”

“Then went back to not speaking to me.”

“I’m genuinely confused, AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for clearing out their husband’s pockets before putting them in the washing machine.

Everyone agreed that not only did the OP do nothing wrong, but she had every right to be suspicious of something their husband was clearly trying to hide, with many saying it is now in her best interest to snoop, and others questioning if the OP should even remain in this marriage.

“Yeah, this isn’t normal.”

“I hope he will do his own laundry from now on, but it sounds like you have bigger problems and his behavior is sketchy AF.”

“You’re NTA.”- sashaopinion


“First of all this is extremely suspicious, something fishy is going on.”

“Don’t back down till he tells you what it is.”

“Secondly, stop doing ANY of his laundry at all.”

“He’s got dirty clothes?”

“Aww poor him he can wash them.”

“If he doesn’t want you searching his pockets, i.e making sure there’s no tissues or paper or valuables that will ruin a wash or be ruined, then he can do it himself like the big boy he is!”

“Privacy my fucking a**.”- catsarebetter003

“He didn’t get a job.”

“He got a girlfriend.”

“NTA.”- dairy_meal

“If you don’t want someone going through your pockets, do your own laundry.”

“Super suss.”

“This attack is to distract you from what is written on that paper.”

“Check the bank accounts.”

“NTA.”- cinnamngrl


“Checking pockets for things that don’t go in the washer is one of the first steps of laundry, it’s not snooping.”

“That’s a really weird reaction.”- cassanthrax

“I will take ‘signs your partner is cheating’ for 100 Alex.”

“NTA.”- jimsredditaccount


“From what it sounds like you genuinely were not snooping.”

“Also from what it sounds like, you should probably start.”- Chi3f_Leo

“This person sounds mentally unstable or is obviously hiding something from you.”

“Is this his first time acting out?”

“NTA either way btw.”

“You are being an awesome person and just washing his clothes.”

“I am completely dumbfounded why they would be mad about you emptying their pockets.”-PuertoRicoRules

“NTA and bonus?”

“Husband does his own damn laundry from now on!”

“THAT SAID, there are some big red flags waving here and you should look into lawyering up because I don’t think this marriage is going to last.”- MadPiglet42


“Yeah, sorry girl.”

“He’s cheating.”

“His reaction is so over the top.”

“He’s covering and projecting.”- Friendly-Analyst-932


“I’d upgrade this red flag to a BANNER.”

“Of course, anyone who has run a tissue or chapstick through the wash KINDLY checks pockets before doing laundry.”

“This isn’t snooping, it’s competence.”

“Locking your belongings up inside your home to avoid your own partner having access is reserved for situations where there is seriously something shady going down.”

“Since we know the issue isn’t your chore execution, I’d assume it’s related to whatever was in his pocket.”

“NTA, and I hope you find this as wildly concerning as I do.”- Major_Barnacle_2212


“Checking pockets before putting things in the washer is 100% normal and sensible, there are lots of things people forget to take out that can be damaged, can damage the machine, or can leave residue on the clothes.”

“Freaking out because there’s something you left in your pocket that you don’t want your spouse to see is very much not normal.”

“He is definitely hiding something from you, and the weird locking closet only confirms it.”- Primary-Friend-7615


“My husband accidentally washed a pair of AirPods and now he checks pockets and feels up all our clothes like he’s a TSA agent in case there are atypical or sneaky pockets.”

“Normal people check pockets.”

“People who are definitely hiding something freak out about normal behavior and buy a lockable closet.”- GFdesserts

“100% he had a phone number in there.”

“NTA.”- TypicalNefariousness


“I mean it sounds like he’s hiding something serious, but putting that aside, the man can do his own laundry then.”- sr9876


“All the red flags here.”

“This sounds like he is hiding something.”

“Get your ducks in a row.”

“Also, he can do his own laundry now.”

“You can respect his privacy by refusing to do anything for him!”- Tarenie


“Checking pockets before washing pants is normal it’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“He’s hiding something, probably something bad if he didn’t want you to see that paper.”

“Because he couldn’t give you a calm and reasonable explanation on what was on it.”

“And he put a lock on his closet?”

“I’d leave immediately to stay with a friend, and let him know when he wants to tall like an adult he can find me.”- Emmiburr

“NTA but that man is CHEATING cheating.”- Crocodiles_Hoe

“I know spouses that ask ‘well what are you hiding’ are usually the ones cheating, but in this case – WTF IS HE HIDING?”

“You are most definitely NTA.”

“FWIW, since I was the one doing the laundry 98% of the time in my house, husband, 2 kids now grown, I stopped checking pockets for sh*t.”

“If they couldn’t remember to remove any valuables, then it got washed.”- paidauthenticator


“Major HUGE red flag Ma’am.”

“If you weren’t snooping before, better start now.”

“That man is guilty of something to be acting like that.”- casgarth

“NTA for checking the pockets when doing the laundry.”

“I’ve always checked pockets when doing the laundry and don’t even think about it.”

“Can’t tell you the number of tissues, gum wrappers, coins, lighters, etc.”

“I’ve found in pockets when doing the laundry.”

“So this is a normal thing to do.”

“What is NOT normal is his reaction.”

“In fact, it is quite alarming.”

“What is he hiding/protecting? “

“A gambling chit, phone number, drugs wrapped in the paper, receipt for a storage locker or purchase of?”

“To take it to the extreme of locking his clothes in a locked wardrobe is a huge, huge red flag.”

“Time to start snooping.”

“Check out his jacket pockets in the front closet, the glovebox in the car, his shaving kit, nightstand and any other hidey holes you can think of.”

“Think snooping is a bad idea?”

“Not in this case.”

“You need to know what is going on before something worse happens.”

“Whatever he’s hiding is something serious enough for a panicked response and a locked wardrobe.”- 11phoenix

It’s hard to imagine what exactly the OP found in their husband’s pocket.

Based on their husband’s reaction, it was clearly something he didn’t want the OP to see.

One can only hope he’ll come clean and tell the OP what they found, particularly if he wants his marriage to remain a happy one.

No doubt he’ll also never forget to empty his pockets before throwing them in the hamper ever again.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.