We all want to be there for our family, and offer them help in whatever way we can.
But sometimes, the behavior of certain family members makes helping them far more difficult than it needs to be.
Particularly if they begin to take advantage of your help.
Redditor Calm-Demand-5746 wanted to be there for their sister after she fell on rather hard times.
But after offering their help, the original poster (OP) was shocked by their sister’s subsequent behavior.
Eventually deciding there was only one possible solution to the trouble she caused.
Wondering if they may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for throwing my sister out of my house after she billed me?”
The OP explained how after they opened their home to their sister, she responded in a rather ungrateful manner.
“My sister is a trainwreck.”
“She needed a place to stay and I have a large enough home for an extra person.”
“She has no job or income.”
“I told her she has a few months to get her sh*t together and leave.”
“I give her about $100 a week to keep my house clean so she has some cash.”
“I gave my sister her $100 and she said I owed her more.”
“I was confused.”
“She said she did other ‘work’ for me.”
“I asked her what more did she do?”
“She said she walks my dog in the afternoon.”
“I walk my dog every morning and evening.”
“But she takes him with her on her afternoon walks.”
“She said the going rate for a dog walker is $25 per walk.”
“5 X $25 = $125 on top of the $100.”
“Then she mentions she put together a scrapbook of personal letters and papers.”
“According to her and Etsy, that job was easily another $75.”
“I told her I never gave her permission to do those things.”
“Her argument is that those jobs fell under the umbrella of keeping the house clean and I was ripping her off.”
“So I threw her out.”
“The money isn’t the issue.”
“I have plenty of disposable income.”
“I was disgusted how she came at me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community decided OP was not the a**hole for kicking their sister out of their house.
Everyone agreed the OP’s sister took advantage of their generosity, with many suggesting the OP counter their sister and bill her for accommodation, while others pointed out how she could have been looking for a job rather than performing all those extra duties in hopes her sibling would pay her more.
“NTA.”
“Do as she did.”
“Bill her for rent according to local housing prices, her share of water, electricity, internet, groceries etc.”- JustMeLurkingAround-
“NTA.”
“I would have countered with a bill for food, rent and utilities.”- spongebob_nopants
“NTA.”
“My response?”
“‘You know what sister, you’re right’.”
“‘I do owe you for that time’.”
“‘So that’s $250 right?'”
“‘Now, for rent and utilities that’s, going to use my own figures, $750 monthly’.”
“‘Oh? That seems unfair?'”
“‘Well that’s half of my mortgage and half my utilities’.”
“‘You’re right, that is unfair’.”
“‘That’s an additional $150 surcharge for the parking lot, HOA fees, and groceries, another $60 for internet’.”
“‘So what are we at now?'”
“‘Right, you owe me $960 and I owe you $250, why don’t I just take that out of what you owe me’.”
“‘So, $710 please’.”
“You were doing her a favor and she tried to turn it into a professional agreement.”
“If that’s what she wants, the agreement of an employer/employee, then it comes with the stipulations that your living arrangement is now one of roommates, not sisters.”
“Roommates pay rent, sisters get favors.”- GiggleGoosey
“NTA.”
“How she is actually begging: she got 100 bucks, remember that she is living in OP’s house, also she gets money every week and she wants 125+ more?”- Tornado127
“NTA bill her for dog rental and craft therapy.”- ShiggnessKhan
“NTA.”
“Your sister is basically getting payed for living at your house, which I understand since she’s family, but asking for more money because she did stuff that you didn’t ask her to do is f*cked.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have thrown her out but talk to her and stop giving her money.”
“If she lives there, it’s normal she does chores.”- Imthebest66
“Give her the extra $125 a week and tell her she owes you $250 a week for rent.”- dan420
“If these ‘jobs’ fall under the umbrella of house cleaning and you offered her $100 a week to clean house, then logically speaking, you paid her in full.”
“The agreement was $100 a week to clean house, not $100 plus a bonus for extra work you didn’t even ask for.”
“NTA.”- karmagrl31276
“NTA.”
“She was trying to take you for a ride and it backfired on her.”
“Good riddance.”- Korlat_Eleint
“Yeah, NTA.”
“Your sister sounds very ungrateful.”- cornphobia
“Wowowowowow NTA.”
“That is fucking unreal she’d give you that attitude.”
“She should be grateful someone scooped her up, didn’t charge her rent, AND gave HER $100 weekly.”
“I gotta know if she has a greater issue or if that’s her natural way of going about these things; trying to milk money from someone, family member or not.”- ovo_throwaway2001
“Agreed to pay her $100 a week to keep the house clean.”
“She chose to do other ‘services’ for which she then tries to bill you.”
“You say you never asked for those ‘services’.”
“She argues that they fell under the umbrella of keeping the house clean.”
“Agreed to pay her $100 a week to keep the house clean.”
“Wait, we’re in a loop.”
“If her argument is that she did additional things that she should be paid for, then your counter that you never asked for those stands.”
“If her argument is that those things fall under your pre-agreed services, then they also fall under the pre-agreed price.”
“And oh yeah, she’s living with you rent free, cleaning is the least she should be doing, she doesn’t deserve any additional cash.”
“NTA.”-foibleShmoible
“NTA.”
“Give her a bill for food, water, electric.”
“I assume you told her she could stay w/o paying rent, did you also say the furniture was included?”
“Charge her for that.”
“Charge for wi fi.”
“Your sister is acting like she’s entitled.”- loocievanpelt
“NTA.”
“You offered her a lifeline, she decided to be greedy.”
“I’m sorry you had it thrown back in your face.”- ViolaClay
“NTA.”
“Send her a bill for the rent at the going rate.”
“With a note attached asking if she want to negotiate.”- Stevetrov
“NTA.”
“The ridiculousness of your sister’s ‘arguments’ is astounding.”
“Firstly I would say if she could make so much walking your dog, why wasn’t she doing that as a decent side gig and getting finances to move out, as she should be?”
“Secondly by claiming the scrapbook she made ‘fell under the umbrella of keeping the house clean’, then obviously that would ‘fall under the $100 you give her to keep the house clean’ lol.”
“You’re practically paying her to live with you and she expects you to give her a raise in ‘allowance’ as if she were your child?”
“Totally ridiculous.”- Ristique
“NTA.”
“You gave her a home and money to live on, and she tried to extort more from you.”-StrawberryTigerLily
“NTA.”
“Brother And tell your parents before she lies.”- DevilSlayer_Dante
“NTA.”
“What an ungrateful leech.”- Lucetti
“If it’s the way you told it, she really came at you with that much attitude, then NTA.”
“Sounds like she’s got a habit.”- IrateAuntie
“NTA she should be grateful for you letting her stay for free and should spend all this time trying to get a job.”- laj43
A select few, however, felt that the OP should have come up with another solution than kicking their sister out, even if they felt the OP’s sister still had no right to charge them.
“How long was she staying with you in the first place?”
“Was she otherwise a good roommate?”
“Was she actively looking for a job?”
“Was this your first warning for her, or had you warned her otherwise?”
“Your sister is definitely an AH for coming at you, demanding that you owed her more money for jobs she willingly chose to do.”
“No question there.”
“I think throwing someone out, your own sister, no less, at the first argument is an a**hole move, though.”
“I don’t know her past, so it makes some sense if she’s on thin ice anyway due to past transgressions, but this reads like you tossed her out after one argument that could have been solved with a mature conversation.”- NotAFlamingo
Charging your sibling who gave you not only a roof over your head but also a small source of income is quite the way to show your appreciation.
One can only hope this is the wake up call the OP’s sister needed to get her life in order as she’ll be pretty lucky to find anyone as generous as the OP was in helping her out.