Breakups are the worst, and some of them are a serious pain to get over.
But how do we get over our exes when someone we care about starts to date them?
One guy found himself struggling with this on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Worst of all, Redditor brotherexdrama found out about the new relationship by accident.
When he didn’t take it well, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong for caring about it.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking my brother out of my apartment after I found out about him and my ex?”
The OP let his brother stay with him when he was having relationship troubles.
“My ex and I broke up a year ago. Or more like she decided she didn’t want us to be together anymore, so she moved out of our shared apartment. It hurt like h**l but I tried to move on.”
“A month ago my brother said he was having ‘girl troubles’ and asked if he could crash at my place a few times. He’s always been private about his life and stuff, so I said that was fine without really asking what was up.”
“All he said was him and some girl he was with needed time apart.”
But the OP was in for a surprise.
“Last Tuesday I happen to see someone calling him on his phone and saw a pic of my ex.”
“Right away my thoughts went all over the place. Like why the f**k was my ex calling him?”
“I drilled my brother about it later until he finally confessed that they’ve been a couple. He swears it all happened right after we broke up because they wanted it to be done the ‘right way.'”
“That’s not even the worst part. They have a f**king KID. I saw it in the pic.”
“Idk (I don’t know) how old but the baby looks a few months old and he says it was unexpected but they’ve tried to keep it on the down-low because he knew it was gonna blow up when I found out.”
The brother was right that the OP wouldn’t take it well.
“Well, I did. And told him to get out of my place because he’s not welcome.”
“He begged me to let him stay since he and my ex are still patching stuff up and he can’t go back yet.”
“He promised to avoid me and leave me alone as long as he’s staying there, but I still told him no.”
“None of his other friends have space for him and my mom is the only one who can let him stay but she’s over 2 hours away from where he works.”
The OP struggled to move beyond this and help out.
“I got called from her and turns out she knew about it the whole time, but she wanted to spare my feelings, because I was still hurting over my ex.”
“My mom said she already told him off for doing this, but he’s my brother, and right now he’s having to sleep in his car by where he works because he literally has no place to go.”
“According to him, nothing happened between them while we were in a relationship. But everything seems like it happened too quickly so I really don’t know.”
“To my mom, since we were broken up, I can’t see it as too much of a betrayal when I should be over my ex already. Which I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be mad at him for what he did.”
“She’s being really hard on me about this that I’m not willing to think of a compromise to let him have a place to stay while not interacting with him at all.”
“Maybe I’m too mad that it’s clouding my judgment, but am I really being an a**hole over this?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were concerned about the timeline of the breakup and the age of the baby.
“No kidding pregnancy is 40 weeks or almost 10 mos so unless that kid is a newborn they were together. No way he’s staying at my house. He’s an adult and so he can take care of himself.” – JuryNo7670
“At the very least, brother and ex were having an emotional affair… which is still an affair.” – somesortofpunname
“Even if the kid wasn’t conceived while you were still with your ex, it seems like a safe assumption that something sketchy was already going on.” – DTH217
“God I am glad that I’m not the only one who caught that phrase, ‘the right way,’ and thought it was a weird choice of words.”
“It sounds like they were wanting to get together and she left OP to be with the brother.”
“They also knew that what they were doing was wrong. Why else hide it for a year? You don’t hide shit like this if it isn’t bad.” – Severedeye
Others wanted to know if the baby was actually the OP’s.
“You should see if you & your brother can get DNA tests, just to be sure of who the father is. Timeline is very sus (suspicious).” – calicoskiies
“OP, is there any chance the baby is yours? Your ex and your brother are massive AH’s who deserve each other and your mom needs to zip it unless she wants to lose you. How dare they all keep this secret from you. The whole lot of them are massively humongous AH’s. You are NTA” – Tapioca44
“Seriously that part is wild. Like what was the long-term plan here?? Was OP just never gonna go to his brother’s place ever again? Were they never gonna have family gatherings? What about holidays?”
“This is just so sus… if the baby is a few months old and they broke up a year ago is OP sure it’s not his?”
“OP needs to get more info on the age of this kid and then see if he should get a paternity test. As far as the rest of the fam – I would cut them both out of my life. After the first betrayal…they both just went way too far for me to be able to trust them anymore.” – derbarkbark
A few pointed out the OP’s mother’s distasteful involvement.
“Sounds fishy. Def started when you were still together. They didn’t just put a label on it until you’ve broken up but she def left you for your brother.”
“Your mom is complicit in this because she hid it from you. There’s no sparing your feelings either way.”
“Find what will make you have a clearer headspace, OP. It’s understandable that you feel betrayed even if you have moved on from the girl.” – Scatteredpebbles
“Your own MOTHER didn’t tell you about this? how does nobody else on this sub see how messed up that is? don’t take her bs judgment. your brother is not entitled to your unconditional kindness, especially after doing something so awful. I hope that you can work through this and I wish you all the best.” – cartmans_chili_
Breakups, in general, are messy, but when the family is also directly involved, keeping the ex-girlfriend in the picture, the whole situation gets worse.
Now, with a baby involved, who knows where this all could go.