For many, there is no price that you can put something as sentimental as an engagement ring.
But Redditor throwaway1846189 knows EXACTLY how much theirs cost after they had to look up the receipt.
You see, the Original Poster (OP) lost their ring when their nephews flushed it down the toilet.
Yep, and that’s what led there to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
They asked,
“AITA for asking my brother to pay $30,000 for my engagement ring?”
They went on to tell the story.
“I hosted a family dinner over the weekend. My brother brought my nephews (4 and 8) over as well.”
“I used to wear my engagement ring all the time, but lately, I keep it in my walk-in closet and mainly wear it for special occasions.”
“While I was cleaning up the dinner table, my nephews went to go play while the adults were still in the outdoor patio/outdoor kitchen area. My brother was not supervising his kids.”
“During this time, my nephews went into the master bedroom without anyone knowing and started playing with everything. Including my engagement ring.”
“When we came to look for them, they panicked because they know they aren’t supposed to be upstairs, ran into the master bathroom, and flushed my ring.”
“We called a plumber in case it was somehow in the u trap of the toilet and not actually gone. But nope. Unfortunately, it was gone for good.”
So the OP came back with literal receipts.
“We still had the original receipt, so I called my brother. I emailed him a scanned copy as proof of the cost and asked him to reimburse me for the ring my nephew flushed.”
“Immediately, he started calling me an a**hole because we were family, and he was just a child. He has refused to repay the cost of my ring.”
“I told him I will be taking him to court for this, and now my entire family is blowing up my phone, saying family shouldn’t sue each other and just let it go.”
“No, the ring was not insured. I found out the day after my nephew flushed it. My husband says he forgot and, in the end, never actually insured it.”
“My brother says he does not have the money to repay even $100 per month and has refused any kind of repayment plan.”
“He said I live in a nice enough house, and if I want a replacement, I should just sell my car.”
“My brother, to this day, has not truly apologized. It was a Canadian sorry. Sorry, not sorry.”
“He said kids will do what is normal for kids, and they shouldn’t be held responsible for a ring.”
“They were supposed to supervise their kids outdoors with the rest of the family while I was busy cleaning up.”
The OP wasn’t buying her sibling’s excuses not to replace the ring.
“I don’t believe for a second my brother and his wife cannot pay for the cost of my engagement ring.”
“They don’t make anything near my husband, but they have a combined income of around 250k.”
“They don’t pay rent or anything because my parents gifted them their old house valued at 3.5 million in Toronto, ON, CA, back when I bought my parents a new home years ago.”
“There is no mortgage on the home my brother lives in. The only things my brother and his wife would have to pay for are the cost of raising their children, normal bills, and food.”
“I feel so distraught because my ring holds great sentimental value.”
“I’ve already been speaking with my husband’s family lawyer, but at this point, I’m ready to hire a PI to find out if they really don’t have the money.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“His circus, his monkeys. He wasn’t watching them. That’s on him.”
“100% he should replace your ring.”
“As for all the family who is blowing up at you, it’s easy, when it didn’t happen to them, to preach forgiveness. Ignore them.”
“Also, 8/4 are more than old enough to know better. My 3yo knows not to touch someone else’s things in their home without asking.”
“Choices have consequences, and sometimes those consequences are expensive!”
“Sorry this happened to you.” – Tiffy_the_Doc
“You didn’t insure a $30,000 dollar ring?”
“Edit: For those of you who say the insurance isn’t the point- OF COURSE ITS THE POINT.”
“The point of this whole thing is the sheer amount of money involved.”
“Sh*t happens all the time. Kids get into things. Dogs eat things, and partners lose things. Anything that you value is on you to insure or protect.”
“YTA for walking around with a 30K liability the size of a marble and then pointing fingers at whoever touched it last before it disappeared.” – Future_Look6983
“INFO: Your $30K ring wasn’t insured?”
“That’s the first thing you’re supposed to do because accidents happen, even if you don’t wear your ring often. They get stolen, or niblings flush them randomly. Hence – insurance.”
“Edit:: It’s not ideal to sue him because he should never put you in this position. He should have proposed some sort of payment plan in some way, shape, or form.”
“Since he was a giant AH about blaming you, now you’re NTA taking him to court. Unless you have insurance and can handle it that way.” – Major_Barnacle_2212
Some Redditors had questions.
“Are you sure they flushed the ring? This story is so incredibly strange.”
“What are the odds that they’d beeline straight for the closet, find your $30K uninsured ring, and then flush it down the toilet?” – personofpaper
“Ya frankly, I think they stole it. An 8 yr old is smart, and not flushing a ring randomly down the toilet.”
“8 yr olds are making Minecraft videos on their own social media accounts and streaming.”
“That’s an age that understands the value of jewelry, and there is zero chance they didn’t know what they were doing.”
“Frankly, with brother’s reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire family is against OP, who is clearly more successful than them and wouldn’t be surprised to find out brother stole the ring as some sort of ‘leveling the playing field’ move within ‘the family’.” – Surfercatgotnolegs
Others had suggestions.
“Also, I’m just going to leave this here: I had a friend who worked at the municipal sewer plant in our town.”
“There is a good chance that the ring could have been recovered (or even has been) if OP had called and told the sewer company to look out for it because of how…..um……things are processed.”
“These things happen more than people think, and in reality, people can get their flushed jewelry back and then have it sterilized.” – PNKAlumna
“NTA.”
“Your family is right, family shouldn’t sue each other, because it should be being repaid without courts.” – FoxWyrd
“So, he doesn’t watch his kid, and you are the a**hole if said kid damages your property?”
“I don’t think so. If he doesn’t cough up the money, do sue.”
“(And this is why you better have insurance if you have kids.)”
“NTA (edited to add judgement)” – AlexTMcgn
“NTA – As the parent, he’s responsible for the damage his kids do. And it wasn’t even an accident.” – Toxic Texas Male
“NTA. “We are family” and “it was an accident” doesn’t absolve his responsibility for the damage he caused you.”
“It’s unfortunate that you have to sue him, but he’s the one putting you in this position. He should have offered to pay you back in any way he could.” – heidismiles
“NTA”
“‘He was just a child.’”
“Then he should have been supervising his ‘just a child’ to ensure something like this didn’t happen.” – embopbopbopdoowop
“NTA. I would say not insuring the ring is not a smart move, but that doesn’t make you an AH.”
“However, not watching your kids in someone else’s house? And getting mad when they ruin something when it’s YOUR responsibility to watch them? AH move.”
“Brother should have parented his kids instead of assuming everything would be okay, especially since one of them is only four years old.”
“I don’t know if OP can answer this question, but why in the world did they think to flush the toilet instead of just hurriedly putting it back where they found it?”
“Or just set it down on the nearest dresser, nightstand, etc.?” – DVKuno
“NTA, and I don’t get these people saying ‘oh you should’ve insured it’ ‘they are kids’”
“My kids know not to touch things that don’t belong to them, and certainly not to go into any private areas of the house (bedrooms, etc.) and while if it was insured, it would be easier, it still doesn’t negate the fact they went and touched your things when they shouldn’t have even been in there in the first place, what if they had broken something that’s irreplaceable (a painting of someone deceased, or a one of a kind piece)”
“If my kids damage or lose something that’s not theirs, I’ll still pay it, regardless of if insurance is on the damn thing.” – amzi95
Well, OP, we’re so sorry you’re in this position.
Maybe next time, get a safe to go with that new insurance policy.