Redditor /hiwhatdoisayidk and their partner had two new roommates, a couple, who recently moved into their home.
A moment of defiance led to a deeply unfortunate circumstance that could have been avoided.
Now there is tension in the home, and our Redditor is wondering if she was in the wrong for how things went down.
After the landlord got involved, they visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (ATIA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not forgiving my roomate after she killed my rabbit.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me and my partner had our pet rabbit, lavender, for about half a year. She was a rescue and me and my partner absolutely adored her.”
“We treated her like our child pretty much. About a week ago we had two new roommates move in with me and my partner. We’ll call one Sofia and one Marisa.”
“Now I didn’t really know either of them, but Marisa is a childhood friend of my partner, and I did meet her quite a bit before she moved in. Sofia is Marisa’s partner, and while I met her a few times I didn’t really know her that well.”
“One night when our roommates were cooking dinner, Sofia went to give lavender some avocado. My partner stopped her and told her that rabbits can’t eat avocado.”
“Sofia dismissed my partner and said that she knew what rabbits can eat. My partner told her not to again, but then left to continue cleaning. Sofia then fed lavender the avocado.”
“When I found out I texted her and told her it is deadly to rabbits and to leave the feeding to me or my partner, her owners. Lavender passed the next morning.”
“Now me and my partner are livid. She was our baby and if she had just listened to us she never would have died. Instead of yelling or starting an argument, both me and my partner have been avoiding her, mostly out of sadness that lavender died.”
“Marisa then came to us yesterday and offered to stay somewhere else for a few days, we told her that she didn’t have to, as she lives here as well and pays rent. And that we never had a problem with her but with Sofia.”
“Today my partner found out that they went and complained to the landlord that we weren’t talking to Sofia and she felt unwelcome.”
“Sofia never apologised. The landlord sided with us, but am I the a**hole for ignoring sofia?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole here.
“NTA. You are grieving, and this girl ignored your warnings. Twice. She didn’t even apologize for killing your pet, whom you both loved very dearly.”
“Tbh, I’d toss her out, even if she’s with your childhood friend. She does not listen to, or respect you enough to. What else is she going to do if this is the first consequence of her actions?” – ReiSpacePrince
“Too bad she can’t toss her out because it’s a sharehouse.”
“Honestly, though, let me get this straight OP. She was told that feeding a certain food would kill the rabbit. But she decided she knew better and did it anyways. Rabbit died.”
“You were grieving and avoided her. And now you are somehow a bad person because HER feeling are hurt?”
“She’s lucky all she is getting is the silent treatment. NTA.” – Any_Cantaloupe_613
“Make Sofia feel 100% unwelcome and totally sh**ty. Give her the cold shoulder EVERY time, EVERY day.”
“No apology? No change.”
“Hi Marisa. Is bunnykiller going to join us for dinner today? That’s her new name, until she apologizes.”
“If she complains– ‘You killed our bunny. We told you avocado is poisonous, we said you didn’t have permission to feed him, you did it anyway because doing what you want to other people’s pets is more important than listening or respecting their owner.”
“If you thought you did something wrong, you’d have apologized; but you didn’t, which means you think you were right and killing our bunny was the right thing to do. Since you think you were right, you should proudly own your title of bunnykiller.'”
“Marisa should also seriously reconsider her choice of partners. If a partner of mine deliberately ignored specific instructions and thus killed an innocent animal, they wouldn’t be my partner much longer.” – SirEDCaLot
“F’k no you’re NTA. That story makes me livid. You are a better person than I for not cussing her out. I’m against lashing out in general, but if ever an act deserved a flat-out angry-as-hell yelling, this is it.”
“If you can kick her out, I totally would. What kind of person does that? JFC.”
“Edit: you know, quite frankly I would report this to the police. It’s not too late. She committed a crime and owes you restitution. Your partner told her it would kill the rabbit, and she fed it to the rabbit anyway.”
“That’s malicious animal cruelty and intentional destruction of property. Throw the book at her and make her pay.” – Karma_1969
‘Today my partner found out that they went and complained to the landlord that we weren’t talking to Sofia and she felt unwelcome.’
“I finally got it, the confirmation that my world lines were crossed at some point and I am officially in clown world. SINCE WHEN would ANYBODY be bothering a landlord with some personal bullsh*t like this.”
“F’k Sofia’s rabbit-killing a**. You’re obviously NTA, and sorry to hear about Lavender.” – Biggesttrue
“NTA. She doesn’t deserve forgiveness. A google search would have confirmed that avocado is deadly to rabbits but even without that, you get to decide what your pet eats.”
“She killed your beloved pet and then whines to the landlord that you’re not being nice to her and she never apologized. I would ignore her until she’s out of there.” – PsychologyAutomatic3
“NTA.”
‘complained to the landlord.’
“What is your rental setting like where roommates are going to the LL to act as an mediator? Most LL would tell the roommates to deal with it themselves and only act in the terms of the lease or property management.”
“If you’re able to, I’d recommend beginning the process of kicking out Sofia and Marisa too if they’re a package. These things rarely get better.” – tomanonimos
“She fed it AFTER owner toled her not to. Strike 1”
“She did not apologize after it died. Strike 2.”
“She went to the landlord to complain the other tennants (you) are not talking with her enough. Strike 3, she’s out.”
“NTA”
“(Only part you could get minor AH points would be if pets are not allowed by landlord or if your pet invaded other tennants private rooms / was in shared rooms without consent. But that is outside the judged incident)” – Deferon-VS
“NTA – she purposely disregarded what your boyfriend told her and she ended up killing an animal, f*ck her tbh. She should feel bad and the fact that she didn’t even apologize makes it worse. What kind of remorseless psycho can kill someone’s pet and not even muster up a simple, ‘I’m sorry.'”
“I would just flat out tell her she was no longer welcome in my home.” – Geekrock84
“NTA. If this had been a human child, that she gave something that was poisonous to humans she’d be in jail and likely stay there for murder. She did something she was told not to AND she was warned why, and it killed your pet.”
“You are grieving and deserve some time and space and she’s a heartless attention-seeker for trying to tattle on you for ‘ignoring’ her.”
“Give it some time and try to have a calm conversation about boundaries when you are ready, and also calmly talk about what happened, why, and expectations moving forward (an apology at least from her YIKES). Or if the wounds are too deep when your lease expires ask Sofia to leave or find your own place.”
“PS be there for Marisa when she has to break up with Sofia, because Sofia is heartless and manipulative at best… at worst an animal killer or psycho. And look after Marisa, she may need help getting out of a bad situation down the road.” – Qewbert
“NTA whatsoever. I am so sorry for your loss. If I were you, and if it’s possible, I would press charges against Sofia for the death of Lavender.” – Luminoose
“NTA, you space to grieve is important. It shouldn’t need to be explained, besides the room mate killed your pet purely out of stubbornness; are they psychotic or a toddler?!”
“I am very sorry for your loss, pets are part of the family, they deserve every respect considering it’s the humans choice, not the animals to be cared for rather than wild.” – Usual-Worry8412
Overall, Redditors continued sympathizing with the OP and agreed Sofia was the villain in the situation.
The OP clarified in edit:
“Forgot to mention, this is a sharehouse, so we don’t have any control over the roommates and we cannot kick them out.”
“They went to the landlord saying that we kicked them out, when Marisa offered to stay somewhere else. The landlords also allow pets.”