Redditor holidaysestress is a lesbian who decided to host the big family Christmas dinner at her house.
Her out-of-town guests included her aunt, her husband, and their daughter.
When the Redditor’s girlfriend came home from work and engaged in a casual PDA, there was immediate tension in the room.
What followed was a dramatic evening that made the Redditor’s parents furious over the turn of events.
She turned to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for kicking my aunt’s husband out of my house and family holiday gathering when he was homophobic?”
“All my life, my parents always hosted the big family Christmas at their house. This year, they sold their large house to downsize.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I bought my first house recently. I’m 25 and live there alone, but my girlfriend and I are talking about her moving in.”
“I offered to host the holidays to keep the tradition alive. My parents would also come by and help me host.”
“My aunt Lisa married Peter, and they have a daughter. They live across the country so they decided to come up to our state a bit early to save money on airfare. I offered to host them all week. I’d only met Peter twice before.”
“They showed up this afternoon after a long flight. I invited them in and we caught up with my parents and amongst each other.”
“My girlfriend Emma came home from work and kissed me and Peter just went ‘You’re a (f slur)?” And I go ‘Nah, I’m a lesbian.'”
“He starts to say some stuff like ‘you’ve gotta be f’king kidding me, in front of my daughter?’ And I’m like ‘Nah man I’m not kidding and I’m also not kidding when I say that bigoted sh*t doesn’t fly in my house, get the f’k out.'”
“He laughed and I’m like ‘Dude, I’m deada** serious, get out of here.'”
“He says he just flew in and the return flight wasn’t for a week, he didn’t even have a car here.”
“I said that it sounded like he thought I cared where he went but I frankly didn’t, as long as it wasn’t my house.”
“Lisa convinced Peter to grab the essentials and step out for a while to let things cool off. Lisa went out to walk with him.”
“My parents tried to convince me to let Peter stay, I had agreed to host him and his family, would I really put a family with a kid out? I said I wasn’t putting the family out, just Peter.”
“They said it was really against hosting etiquette to have someone fly across the country to visit and then put them out. And that it would be rude to make him stay in a hotel till Christmas dinner.”
“I said ‘wait you thought I was still having him over for Christmas dinner?’ My parents tried to convince me and I said no way.”
“I went upstairs to grab Peter’s suitcase, and my girlfriend came with me and was really grateful I handled it, and didn’t make her have to be the bad guy in front of my family.”
“I put his suitcase out, and sent Lisa a text saying that I would still love to have her and her daughter over for the holidays, but I wasn’t comfortable with Peter coming into my home.”
“She came by to grab their things, her family was getting a hotel, I told her she was welcome to come to Christmas with her daughter and she said she’d let me know.”
“My parents are furious, they think I overreacted and overstepped my place. And that the rest of the family was visiting wanting to see their family.”
“I said they could still meet up, just not at mine. I said that maybe if they were still hosting it would be their call to make but this year I was.”
“AITA for kicking out this homophobic guy?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
People weighed in with their judgments, most of which were in favor of the OP.
“NTA. They’re worried about hosting etiquette? What about guest etiquette? Pretty sure that includes not behaving like a bigot.”
“If they’re so worried about this disgusting human having somewhere to be, your parents are free to take him home with them.” – NUT-me-SHELL
The OP added:
“Yeah like seriously.”
“I was running out of space in my post but I also told my family part of hosting etiquette for me is making sure my guests have a safe comfortable place to stay.”
“And for my girlfriend, a queer person, especially one who has dealt with a fuckton of homophobia in her life, I wouldn’t be a good host to her if I made her stay in an environment she didn’t feel comfortable and safe.”
More NTA judgments followed in the thread.
“NTA- you get to decide who is in your home. Anyone with a sense of gratitude and familial love would be kind to you but no. This dude went so far left I’m sure he almost fell off the flat earth he thinks gays don’t exist on.”
“I’m a queer woman and I would have done the same. Good for you for standing up for your partner and S H A M E on your family for even making you think you should tolerate this kind of audacity in your own got damn home. Yield not an inch. I am SO proud of you!”
“P.S. the earth is round. Gays exist. This dude sucks.” – CuriousTsukihime
“Peter is trash. OP I’m so happy you stood up for yourself and your girlfriend in the face of such disgusting behavior from Peter and your family trying to steamroll your decision and boundaries. NTA.” – XanGable
“NTA. They think you overstepped your “place”? It IS your place, literally, your home, and he insulted the host. Why aren’t they on his ass about being rude AND homophobic? Lots of red flags in your family, OP.” – RNGinx3
Overall, Redditors praised the OP for sticking up for Emma.
And when a Redditor suggested Lisa may be the biggest offender for bringing her homophobic husband to the house, the OP said of her aunt:
“I’m not sure she knew, and I feel like she might have gotten married too fast. She was a single mother to her daughter and met and married Peter in a relatively short time? Idk, I kinda feel bad for her.”