Everything about a wedding, including the showers and parties leading up, feels so meticulously planned that even one thing going wrong can really cause someone to have a bit of a meltdown, understandably.
But usually those meltdowns last a few seconds. They don’t turn into grudges.
But Redditor PocketCollection can’t settle with a bit of an issue from the past, after the Maid Of Honor at a wedding she went to was absolutely livid that she was wearing the incorrect color to the wedding of which they were both a part of.
Unsure if she bore some responsibility, our friend went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” to get objective feedback from strangers:
“AITA for wearing the wrong colour to a bridal shower and bachelorette?”
Our original poster, or OP, recounted the event eating at her.
“This happened a while ago but its been bugging me. A childhood friend of mine was getting married. She is my best friend in the whole worlds little sister.”
“We grew up together. Our parents grew up together. That kind of close. So for the kitchen tea and bachelorette I was super super excited.”
“Context: I suffer from PTSD and some of the medication I was placed on was pro weight gain added to my diabetes and boom I was gaining weight like there was no tomorrow.”
“I have lost the weight now and have well controlled sugar levels. Also because of my weight I was very self conscious and owned very little colorful clothing most of it was black.”
A dress request sadly became context for some insecurity.
“Okay onto the situation: We were all given the instruction to wear white to the kitchen tea and later the bachelorette.”
“I was planning to wear the only white thing in my closet: a sun dress. It fit me fine a month before when I tried it on.”
“So on the day of the bachelorette I pulled out my white dress and it would not fit. Like would rip if i forced it not fit. I started to cry. I had a two hour drive ahead of me and it was 2 and a half hours before. There was no time to shop.”
“I wanted to pull out of the whole event. I am so self conscious and hate to be the center of attention so the thought of being the only person in the room in a different color was giving me extreme anxiety.”
“My husband said to me that it wasn’t about me but my friend and that she would be hurt if I didn’t arrive last minute.”
OP got there, only to find the bride and also her best friend seemed absolutely fine with it, but one person was out of line.
“So I put on the smartest shirt I owned which was mostly black and swallowed my fear and went. My best friend was like oops did I forget to tell you to wear white and I said I had a wardrobe malfunction.”
“I was happy to stand in the back of photos so my clothing didn’t show or be out of frame completely.”
“I bought the bride numerous drinks through the night and she didn’t seem upset. But the maid of honor was livid.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors thought OP certainly did her best.
“NTA. As you said, you and the bride are close, and if she’s aware of the situation and your current struggles, she should be understanding.”
“It’s not the maid of honor’s wedding, therefore she has no place to be upset with you. You swallowed your fear and went to the wedding and I’m proud of you for pulling through.”-mycat_atecat
“NTA. But also take it as a learning opportunity if you can. I’ve had the same issue before with fluctuating weight, but also surprise stains or other snafus that required last minute changes in plans with what you are wearing.”
“If there is something you are planning on wearing and it cannot be changed, then check it at minimum the night before to be sure that it is in good shape to wear and so you can get a game plan if it is not.”-anglerfishtacos
“NTA but I don’t understand why you didn’t check the dress at least the day before if it’s ok.”
“In the future if you are going somewhere and have to dress certain way always check the thing you want to wear. It’s not even that you might not fit but it might have a hole or just needed a refreshing wash.”-SpaceAlienCowGirl
Most people were confused why the Maid Of Honor made it her business so intensely:
“Definitely NTA. It’s no one’s business and if the bride didn’t mind, you shouldn’t care about the rest. Who tf is the maid of honour to have an opinion anyway?!”
“Stupid, meaningless titles. You’re fine, don’t worry, you did nothing wrong.”
“In fact, you decided to go even though you were panicking just because you realised that it was not about you but your best friend. Well done, that was brave.”-sorryidontknowyet
“NTA. The MOH can be livid all she likes, the fact is the bride was happy you were there and didn’t care what you were wearing.”
“You’re a person not a prop for a photo. Wanting everyone to look cohesive for photos is nice but its not worth having someone not attend just because they don’t have something which is the right colour.”-janewilson90
“NTA. It’s sad to think there are people out there who would get livid over something like this.”
“You went despite feeling stressed and afraid, because you care about your friend and didn’t want to hurt her by not showing up- that matters so much more than whether or not you wore a particular colour, surely?”-dyinginsect
While others yet reassured OP that they’d been in similar situations but had nothing to be ashamed for:
“NTA. A similar thing happened to me (but without the livid reaction) and it’s hard enough feeling like cr*p and trying to be cheerful for someone else’s sake.”
“I can’t imagine having someone glaring at me furiously! And she wasn’t even the bride! You are so NOT the a**hole and your explanation was totally valid, so it’s not like you did it on purpose.”
“MOH was clearly trying to make the bachelorette party about her efforts rather than the bride.”-ChildofNarcissist82
“NTA. I think the only things you could have done differently are to have tried on the dress the night before, and to also text the bride/MOH that you were coming in a different color and were sorry, and of course happy to step out for pictures.”
“This is minor stuff though, because regardless of weight, you could have spilled something or ripped the dress and the same thing could have happened.”
“The bride didn’t care, and that’s what matters, and your husband is right- she wanted you there, not for you to just match the theme.”-mfruitfly
“NTA. You didn’t do it on purpose and offered to make sure it didn’t show in the photos – in fact you put yourself through stress to show up for your friend anyway.”
“The maid of honour probably just wants everything to be perfect for the bride, but really she has no business being rude to one of the bride’s guests about something the bride doesn’t mind.”-Cyborg_Ninja_Cat
OP made the best of a bad situation.
The Maid Of Honor doesn’t have to like it for it to be valid.