Many people experience anxiety issues.
Thanks to many forms of therapy, there are great ways to cope with it and a myriad of emotional issues.
But sometimes these coping mechanisms can hinder a few events or two.
Accommodations aren’t always easy to deal with.
Case in point…
Redditor Technical-Star8164 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling a bridesmaid she can’t bring her dog to the bachelorette party?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (30 F[emale]) am the maid of honor for my sister (32 F)’s wedding.”
“We’re planning a bachelorette weekend in Vegas since my sister has never been before and has always wanted to go.”
“We plan to be out of the hotel as much as possible, making the most of our trip.”
“One of the bridesmaids (28 F) recently asked in the group chat about accommodations for her dog, a fifty-pound Australian shepherd.”
“I was confused… she wanted to bring her dog?”
“The bridesmaid said the dog was an ESA (emotional support animal) and that she likes to have her dog there on planes (we live on the East Coast and will be flying to Vegas).”
“We literally flew to Istanbul together not six months ago without this dog, and there was no issue whatsoever.”
“And when we get to Vegas, does she plan on just… keeping her dog all cooped up in her crate the entire time?!”
“The hotel we’re booking does have dog-friendly rooms but doesn’t allow pets to roam freely around the hotel room unsupervised – the dog would have to stay in that crate for God-knows-how-long each day.”
“That can’t be great for the dog.”
“On top of that, our other younger sister coming on the trip is very allergic to dogs.”
“We don’t have the money to just let this one bridesmaid book her own room for just herself and the dog to prevent my younger sister from having an allergic reaction.”
“Unless this bridesmaid was willing to pay for a room herself, I told her she couldn’t bring her dog on this trip.”
“I thought that was going to be the end of it since this was definitely reasonable on my part (in my opinion).”
“But this bridesmaid is now being super pissy with me and saying how it’s sooo wrong and horrible of me not to let her bring her ESA.”
“Bearing in mind, she’s been absolutely fine without the dog in the past on much longer flights.”
“Bearing in mind, I even told her she could bring the dog IF she were able to pay for a room of her own so that my sister doesn’t have a reaction.”
The OP was left to wonder,
“Reddit, please just put this one to bed. Am I the a**hole here?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was not the A**hole.
“NTA. ‘Bearing in mind I even told her she could bring the dog IF she were able to pay for a room of her own so that my sister doesn’t have a reaction.'”
“So she’s being cheap and considering locking up her pup in a small cage, not taking allergies into account?”
“She sounds like a pretty self-centered individual.”
“You’re doing the pup a favor…” ~ Stardust777788
“She probably wants to bring it so she doesn’t have to pay to board it while she’s gone.”
“So paying for her own room, while a perfectly reasonable solution, defeats her whole stingy, siilly purpose.” ~ intruda1
“This right here.”
“Not a shred of a chance that a dog that large is a support animal less than a year later.”
“Tell her no, but suggest she look into the costs of flying because you think she is underestimating how expensive her idea is.”
“NTA.”
“Edit to clarify: it’s completely possible to have a service dog who is big.”
“I meant to imply that this specific person, who clearly travels multiple times in a year, is highly unlikely to have recommended to her a service animal of large size.”
“Your therapist/doc/etc would likely also know that you travel because of Covid questions.” ~ Acceptable_Total_285
“NTA. All of your logic is exactly spot-on — if she feels so adamant, then she can come up with her own accommodations.”
“Otherwise, the dog has no place at a Vegas bachelorette party.” ~ jmgolden33
“These kinds of people always show up and always argue about everything.”
“I’ve personally found that the best way to deal with them is to set simple standards and boundaries, don’t argue, and give the option of doing what everyone else is doing or organizing it yourself.”
“E.g. ‘I’m booking 8 standard tickets and a hotel room where there’s not gonna be a dog. Your choice is this, or you organize your own room and flight. This is our flight number. Good luck.'”
“Don’t argue, don’t explain, don’t defend.”
“This is what I’m organizing, you’re in, or you are more than welcome to organize your own stuff if you wanna deviate.” ~ Superior91
“NTA. Also as someone who is allergic to dogs, a dog in the hotel room would mean I wouldn’t be going lol.”
“It’s misery being in enclosed spaces with all that loose fur.”
“But seriously, if she’s traveled further and longer without the dog, and she plans on leaving the dog cooped up all day… not only does she not actually need it, she’s also going to subject it to an absolutely miserable time.”
“Aussies are high-energy dogs, she’ll have to crate it, or it’ll destroy its surroundings out of boredom.”
“Why would someone who loves their dog put them through that unnecessarily?”
“Full respect to those who have service dogs that do an essential service for them (including mental health support), but ESAs are just pets.” ~ Strawberry338338
“NTA. She can pay for her own room if she wants.”
“Your sister is allergic.”
“You are not required to accommodate her ESA in any other way.”
“That’s leaving aside all issues about how much she might actually need the dog and the quality of life for the poor dog trapped in a crate in a hotel room in Vegas.” ~ ParsimoniousSalad
“Info What is her plan for the dog’s care in Vegas?”
“What is she asking you for?”
“There is no room in a Vegas hotel room for a 50-pound dog.” ~ angiehome2023
OP answered…
“As far as I know, she has no plan for the dog’s care except to sometimes peel off from our activities early to care for her.”
“She’s asking me to just be cool with her bringing her dog and letting this dog stay in the (shared) hotel room with my allergic younger sister and the other bridesmaids.”
“The hotel says that up to two dogs are allowed as long as their combined weight is under 100 pounds.”
“Dog fees will also apply, which… just no.”
“Not doing that.”
“I get that her dog is her ESA for a reason, and I am sympathetic to people needing accommodations for stuff, but this is just some next-level entitlement from this bridesmaid, in my opinion.”
“It’s not ‘ableist’ to say don’t bring that poor f**king creature to the most miserable weekend of her life when you’ve been shown to manage yourself just fine without her on flights before.”
Reddit continued…
“She has to book her own room, plus sign a legal document RIGHT NOW stating that she will be 100% responsible for ANY and ALL medical bills incurred by younger sis having an allergic reaction to doggo.”
“You could even ask for 5 grand up-front deposit in ‘good faith’ lol.”
“Plus anyways, BLUEY DOESN’T LIKE VEGAS, doesn’t want to go. sauce – an Aussie lol. NTA!” ~ lookthepenguins
“I’m astonished that she is crying ‘accommodate meeee!'”
“But is willing to completely disregard the person with the allergies.”
“Given that she has managed in the past without the dog, AND there is a reasonable alternative (although not for the poor doggo), this just reeks of next-level entitlement and drama manufacture.”
“NTA, OP.” ~ marvel_nut
“NTA, allowing her to bring that poor dog to be left on its own in a crate for hours would be beyond cruel.”
“Leaving a dog in a crate for that long for multiple days would be damaging to that poor dog, especially a high-energy dog like an Aussie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s abuse.”
“Plus you have your sister with an allergy, unless she plans to spend a huge chunk of time every day getting rid of every strand of its hair off her clothes it’s highly likely your sister will a get reaction just from being around her.”
“This woman is extremely selfish, both to you, your sister, the bride, the rest of the wedding party, and also her dog.”
“If she can’t leave her dog behind, then she just shouldn’t go.”
“Also, as an neurodivergent person who’s been on the receiving end of a LOT of ableism, I can assure you that you are NOT being ableist here, and in fact, the bridesmaid is being ableist by trying to say that she’s a victim of ableism over this and just everything in your post.” ~ neurospicymunchkin
“NTA. She is wanting to bring her pet so she can foot the full cost of that herself.”
“It is not a proper service animal (eg guide dog), so it does not need to be there at all.”
“Your younger sister’s legitimate allergy trumps taking a pet.” ~ kiwimuz
“It’s very unlikely the hotel will allow the dog to stay in the room unattended even if it is in a crate. If you need further support in justifying the no, perhaps ask the hotel about their policy on crated dogs being left unattended in rooms.”
“Sounds to me like she needs to sit this one out if she can’t do it without the dog. NTA.” ~ whataquokka
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
This woman needs to sort out her accommodations outside of the group if she so chooses.
Good luck and have fun.