We’re never prepared for the things that will end up having sentimental value in our lives.
Sometimes, it’s things that don’t really reflect our likes and interests, or even things we once might have had an aversion to.
But owing to the specific relation or connection they may have had to someone special in our lives, we find ourselves valuing the very thing more than we ever possibly expected.
In some cases, these things might have not only sentimental value but also financial value.
Such as an heirloom Reddiitor Blue-Ozone-1870 inherited from her late father.
So valuable was this heirloom, both emotionally and monetarily, that when the original poster (OP)’s boyfriend damaged it, she felt there was only one way he could make it up to her.
Worried that she may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for insisting that my boyfriend pay me for breaking my $3,500 model ship?”
The OP explained that after her boyfriend and his friends damaged an item of great value, she felt there was only one way he could make up for his actions.
“My (33 F[emale] Dad passed away and left me one of his last and favorite ship model, I had it on display in my living room.”
“But for some reason I never actually mentioned it to my boyfriend (37 M[ale] of 6 months.”
“Maybe because we don’t live together and he doesn’t visit often.”
“The other day he and his friends came over to my place to celebrate his birthday.”
“They got drunk and started throwing the sofas pillows at each others.”
“I told them to stop then went into the kitchen to clean up.”
“I then started hearing loud noise, I walked out the kitchen and saw my model ship in my boyfriend’s hands.”
“I rushed to get it but he passed it on to his friend, and then his friend passed it on to the other friend.”
“I started running around trying to catch it while yelling at them to stop then my boyfriend grabbed it again.”
“I was so angry I told him to hand it over but he said I needed to kiss him first.”
“I yelled at him and he tried to threw it to his friend who tried to catch it but it missed and hit the wall and broke.”
“I lost it!! kicked all of his friend out then had a fight with him telling him this was a sentimental item from dad and demanded that he pay me $3,500 because this is how much it costs.”
“He left then called in the morning asking if I was serious about wanting him to pay $3,500 and I said I was dead serious.”
“He started making excuses saying he was drunk and also, I never told him about this ship and how important it was for me before both monetarily and sentimentally so that’s on me.”
“We had another fight and then I hung up upon telling him I’m expecting the 3,500 and that I wasn’t afraid to take the legal route if I have to.”
“He kept texting asking me to let it go and saying it was cruel of me to threaten him with the law.”
“He had his friends apologize thinking this would be it but I insisted that he pay me.”
“I get that I might’ve got worked up over an item and treated my boyfriend badly but to me it seemed like recklessness on his part.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding her boyfriend pay for her father’s broken model ship.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s boyfriend and his friends was appalling, and not only should he pay for the broken ship, but it would probably be in the OP’s best interest to break up with her boyfriend.
“Nope NTA.”
“I dont take new partners or guests on a tour of my home and indicate everything’s value so they know what’s financially or emotionally viable for them to break.”
“These people were in YOUR house, disrespecting YOUR things and broke something important to YOU.”
“He absolutely should be paying for it to be replaced or repaired.”- Acedia_spark
“NTA.”
“You didn’t treat your bf badly!”
“He destroyed your property, disregarding you when you ask him to stop.”
“This is a huge lack of respect on his part.”
“If he can’t respect you more than that, he deserve to be single and have 3500$ less in his pockets.”
“Also, the lame ‘I was drunk’ excuse is a big, big, big red flag.”
“Alcohol is never a good excuse.”
“He is just refusing to take accountability for his actions.”- MaybeAWalrus
“NTA.”
“Full stop.”
“I don’t even need to see a picture of that type of model to know it’s expensive as hell.”
“I’ve got $50 Warhammer figures I’ve spent hours building and painting I’d be f*cking furious to see being tossed around like a hacky sack, let alone a presumably large, intricately detailed model ship.”
“There is no excuse for that behavior even if the ship was a cheap hunk of plastic you picked up at the dollar store.”
“You said no.”
“He and his friends didn’t respect that.”
“End of discussion.”
“He owes you $3500 and a big a** apology.”-TemptCiderFan
“NTA.”
“But he is 37?”
“And treats you, mocking you that night, and your possesions like that?”
“You deserve better.”- CakeEatingRabbit
“NTA, at all.”
“Even if it didn’t have sentimental value and was just a $3,500 ship model you bought at a store he would owe you the money to replace the item HE broke in YOUR home with HIS friends when you told him to STOP.”
“Don’t bend on this.”-innocentsubterfuge
“NTA.”
“At the age of 37 one should know not to touch another’s things without permission.”
“Especially if they look expensive and easy to break.”
“With the sentimental value that’s at least $3,500 if not more when you count the heirloom status in.”
“That’s a lot of money.”
“If he doesn’t get his act together, sue him over it.”
“I’d dump him anyways because of the way he is acting about it.”
“Being drunk, stupid and breaking something is one thing but refusing to be held accountable for it is another.”- Hellhound265
“Get your money, then get out of the relationship.”
“This guy is NOT a keeper.”
“His behavior demonstrates a lack of respect.”
“Being drunk doesn’t excuse it.”
“A mature and respectful person doesn’t play ‘keep away’ with an item that is obviously on display in someone’s home.”
“By definition, an item that is on display in someone’s home is valuable for some reason, financial, sentimental, it’s WHY the item is on display.”
“It’s common sense.”
“Even if you want to ignore the lack of respect, blame shifting, and use of guilt to manipulate you, why would you want to date someone who lacks basic common sense.”
“NTA.”- Veridical_Perception
“NTA.”
“I’m not sure where you treated your boyfriend badly?”
“You treated a 37 year old man like 37 year old man, asking him to be accountable for his actions.”
“He is an AH for not vounteering to make this right without your prompting, and he absolutely should have legal encouragement if he continues to shirk his responsibility here.”- JudgeJudAITA
“NTA they all disregarded you when you said to stop and he touched YOUR property in YOUR home without YOUR permission.”- 0nly_0li
“NTA.”
“A wise store sign once said:”
“You break it, you buy it.”- Valoneria
“NTA.”
“But also visit some place like a model train store.”
“Those folks are good at repairing.”-AdAdministrative9341
“NTA.”
“It wasn’t an oopsie clumsy moment, the guy was willfully disrespecting your property and broke it out of sheer recklessness.”
“The drunk defense is never a good one, especially from a grown ass man.”
“Probably going to be tough to actually get that money but you have every right to pursue it.”-ArtlessOne
“NTA.”
“Ship ahoy!”
“What shall we do with a drunken boyfriend.”
“What shall we do with a bully boyfriend.”
“What shall we do with a loser boyfriend.”
“When he breaks an heirloom?”
“Dump him.”- drdish2020
“NTA.”
“Doesn’t matter if it’s 3000 or 3 bucks.”
“He disrespected you, he threw around your property and then didn’t want to take responsibility.”
“He doesn’t respect you.”
“Dump his a**.”-SaikaTheCasual
“NTA.”
“You told him to stop, if he had tripped and broken it that would be one thing but he was actively playing with *cleary* a model ship that was on display, these are not toys.”
“Drunk or not.”
“I once broke a giant glass bottle of my husbands, not drunk, just clumsy, by tripping.”
“I felt so bad that I had painstakingly, as it was irreplaceable, use gold-colored glue to piece it back together, then grafted a picture of his mom on it, as it was his mothers who passed away, put a note and a gift to him explaining ‘Kintsugi’, the act of mending things with gold, japanese thing.”
“Each piece I found and carefully crafted it back together.”
“It was not the same, but he appreciated it and forgave me as I clearly understood the gravity.”
“He needs to take responsibility for his actions and man up.”
“Also you deserve better.”
“Sounds like something my ex would do/has done.”-Kryptillith
It’s alarming enough that the OP’s boyfriend would think that his behavior, in someone else’s house, was acceptable.
But who in their right mind throws around a model ship as if it were a football, regardless of what it meant to the OP?
It’s hard not to agree with the many people who think the OP would be better off ending this relationship, and finding someone who understands sentiment.