A true friend will always come to another friend’s rescue.
Even if it means putting themself in a situation that many others would likely feel more than a little uncomfortable in.
Indeed when a friend’s daughter found herself in a somewhat precarious situation, Redditor creatingastorm wasted no time in coming to her rescue, without a moment’s hesitation.
But when his girlfriend reacted in a somewhat surprising manner to his efforts, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for buying my friends daughter tampons and being too familiar with her?”
The OP first filled readers in on his current relationship, and how it came to be.
“Ok, a bit of context!”
“I (M[ale] 46) met Cassie (F[emale] 40) last year during one of the breaks in lockdown.”
“We got on and despite not seeing a huge amount of each other in person because of various restrictions , we have stayed in contact.”
He also filled Redditors in on a lifelong friendship which has resulted in his becoming something of a surrogate uncle.
“I have known my friend since I was 16, as a consequence I have known all of his kids ( all 4 of them) since they were born.”
“They know me well enough to be completely comfortable with me and have been to my current house a number of times, and when I lived in London the older kids would stay etc.”
“C (F, 21) his daughter is in healthcare and I live close to a teaching hospital that is offering a course in her field , this is about 30 mins from where she lives, longer during peak.”
C would later pay a visit to the OP, but found that the timing of it all was not entirely on her side.
“Last week, late afternoon, Cassie and I were at my house having a coffee in the kitchen.”
“The doorbell rang and it was C.”
“I knew she had a meeting to discuss the course she wanted to get into at the nearby hospital, so I started asking her how her meeting went and she immediately said ‘can I use your bathroom?’”
“I said no problem and she ran upstairs to the main bathroom rather than use the toilet downstairs.”
“Less than a minute later I heard her swear and I went upstairs to ask if she was ok?”
“She said that she had just started her period and didn’t have any tampons.”
A situation that could easily have made any other grown man panic, the OP wasted no time in finding a solution to C’s problem.
“I’m going to add I have zero problem talking about this or buying sanitary products.”
“I said hold on and mentioned that Cassie was downstairs, went down and asked Cassie if she had any sanitary pads or tampons as C had been caught out.
“She seemed embarrassed and said no.”
“I went back upstairs and explained that Cassie didn’t have any and that I could run to the shop ( it’s a few minutes away in the car) and grab her some.”
“C explained that she didn’t have much time as she was on the way to her meeting and didn’t want to mess her clothes up.”
“The best I could say was do what you need to to clean yourself up, and I’ll be back in a few mins.”
“I went out got some tampons and then told C to pop any towels etc. in the washing machine and I would start a wash.”
“C did what she needed to do and then came into the kitchen to say hi (to Cassie) and bye to me , she came in to give me a hug and I wished her well for her meeting.”
While the OP felt that he had just come to his friend’s daughter’s rescue, Cassie’s reaction to his accomplishment was not at all what he expected.
“After she left Cassie said that she thought it was weird that C was so comfortable asking me for help with her sanitary products and that it seems like I’m overly familiar with her.”
“To be honest – I was taken aback by the comment, all I did was help my friends daughter out ahead of an important meeting.”
“I also said I’m not sure any of this would have been Cs first choice to deal with the situation.”
“Cassie left shortly after I said I wouldn’t do anything differently and that I’m sure she just got a bit caught out.”
“Apart from a couple of msgs, I haven’t spoken to Cassie.”
“So, AITA ?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Redditors were unanimous in agreeing the OP was not at all the a**hole in this situation
If anything, just about everyone agreed the OP should be commended for so effortlessly stepping up to the plate.
“I wish more men were like you.”
“It is amazing that you didn’t make a big deal about it, and that she trusted you enough to ask for help.”
“Obviously she knew that you WOULDN’T make a big deal about it (‘eww periods, girls shouldn’t talk to boys about it’ etc), or just hoped you wouldn’t, but that you went OUT OF YOUR WAY to help her is amazing.”
“Also, if she or other female family (cuz at this point she IS family) visit frequently you could consider just keeping some sanitary products under the sink or something just in case.”
“That way if something like this happens again, it’s there for them to use so you don’t have to run to the store again.-Shygrave.
“NTA, but Cassie certainly is.”
“‘Overly familiar’ is polite code for ‘inappropriate’ and you most certainly were not.”
“After a 30 year friendship with her dad, and given the way she responded and that she literally HUGGED YOU of her own impetus on her way out, it sounds like she sees you as a bit of an uncle, which makes sense in the overall context.”
“You did nothing inappropriate.”
“You helped the daughter of a lifelong friend out in a potentially embarrassing situation.”
“You were not intrusive, you left her to clean herself up in private.”
“All you did was run to the store to fetch a couple of things that she needed.”
“If Cassie thinks that buying necessaries is ‘overly familiar’ then SHE is an AH for projecting some weird personal issues around natural bodily functions and the things we have to do to deal with them on you.”
“Would she have said the same thing if you’d run out of toilet paper and had to go get some?”
“Because it amounts to the same thing.”
Many were just as surprised as the OP by Cassie’s reaction.
“*How is being a decent person and helping someone out now considered being familiar?*”
“How would have this been different if you went out to get a bandage for any other kind of bleeding incident?”- nickfarr.
“You were helping her out in a non creepy way.”
“Maybe she just grew up in a different environment and found it weird.”-noonecaresat805.
“Cassie’s inability to see periods as a normal part of life which both men and women should be comfortable talking about, and Cassie’s inability to recognize a healthy family-friend relationship is very weird.”
“This is entirely Cassie’s problem, not yours.”- ifimhereimrealbored.
The OP later updated his post to thank Redditors for their kind words, while revealing how C later responded to his help, and offering an update as to where things stood with Cassie.
“Thanks for all of the comments, I don’t think I did anything special, I was only trying to help out in what was a moment of need.”
“C msgd me over the weekend to thank me and has apparently dispatched her Dad with beers for me.”
“Her meeting went well and she’s confident she has a place for later this year.”
“RE Cassie, I have said that if she wants to discuss this properly, then we can.”
“I did also say that I have a sister, friends that are female and I have been in relationships, so I don’t have any problem with talking about periods, also given that C was close to my house I would expect her to come in if she, or any of my friends kids, had a problem they needed help with.”
“And just to add – I will have a supply for female visitors in the future , thanks for the suggestion.”
If coming to a friend’s aid makes Cassie uncomfortable, one has to wonder if she’s the right fit for someone as compassionate as the OP appears to be.
Here’s hoping she and the OP do indeed have that proper discussion, and that her opinion of his actions will change.