There are few moments more stressful in a new relationship than meeting your partner’s parents.
All that goes through one’s mind is meeting the, presumably, sky high expectations of these parents, needing to show that you are worthy of their child.
While the one whose parents are being introduced will likewise be anxious that everyone get along, particularly if there’s a possibility the two families will one day become one.
Redditor hskot26 recently went through this momentous occasion.
But while he felt fairly secure about how the big moment went, his girlfriend strongly felt otherwise and wasn’t afraid to say so.
Reflecting further about his behavior, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditos:
“AITA for going to the gym right before I was supposed to meet my gf’s parents?”
The OP first explained how he planned his day around the arrival of his girlfriend’s parents.
“Ok so I (m([ale] 25) was planning to meet my gf’s (f[emale] 26) parents in person for the first time.”
“We both live in an apartment with a gym in another building, so 2 hours before they said they’d arrive I went to the gym.”
“I worked out for an hour and dropped by the snack shop to buy a protein shake.”
However, the day didn’t entirely go as planned.
“While I was in the elevator she texted me and said they were here.”
“They were supposed to arrive at 6 and I got back to the apartment at 5:15.”
“I ended up saying ‘Hi’ while sweaty and excused myself to take a shower.”
“I freshened up and we all proceeded with our restaurant plans.”
Even with the slight hiccup, the OP felt the evening was still a success, though his girlfriend felt otherwise.
“All went well I felt like we got along very well and they seemed really interested in my career.”
“Once they left and we got back to the apartment my girlfriend ripped into me and called me extremely irresponsible.”
“She questioned why I was even working out at that time.”
“I told her I was anxious about meeting her parents and wanted to get some energy out.”
“I then apologized and told her I truly didn’t expect them to arrive literally 45 minutes before.”
“My plan was I get back at 5:15 and shower up and look presentable which takes maybe 20-30 minutes.”
“I had already cleaned up the place in the morning, had liquor and basic snacks set up if they wanted to have a quick drink before we went out.”
“She’s still mad at me so AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community strongly took the side of the OP, not at all finding him the a**hole for going to the gym.
Several pointed out how he planned his day around their arrival, so it was unfair for his girlfriend to be mad at him when her parents arrived early.
“She gave you a time to be ready and you acted accordingly.”
“She’s the one who knows her parents; you don’t.”
“You have no way to judge the odds of them arriving early.”
“She gave you bad information and now wants to make it your fault.”- s1m0n_s3z.
“You planned very well before going to the gym and managed your time wisely.”
“It was rude of her parents to show up that early and you should have been warned.”- soulsearxhing.
“Parents showed up early, so that’s not on you.”
“GF is being unreasonable.”
“Don’t know why.”
“You had no way of knowing they were going to show up ridiculously early.”
“If your GF knew, she should have communicated that to you.”
“If you were ready by 6, you did nothing wrong.”- Panther-Turtle.
“If gf knew they have a habit of being early she should have given you a heads up.”
“Bad gf.”- Loreo1964.
“They were early and that’s out of your control.”- touougakuen.
“People who arrive too early are typically TAH and so is your gf.”
“Sounds to me like you got back, got ready and left for your dinner on time.”
“If your gf is still mad at you, you should tell her to just get over it.”
“Then you can tell her, the next time her parents show up early, for her not to expect you to cut your life short to appease her and her parents.”-WillLoveCoffee4Ever1.
“They showed up early and it sounds like you were ready to leave on time.”
“I don’t see the problem.”-chouchoubleu.
“I met my now-wife’s parents for the first time accidentally after having cycled 40 miles and still in full spandex.”
“If they are reasonable people they will understand.”- Prof_Fuzzy_Wuzzy.
“They were early, and you had a perfect right to work out.”
“By my calculation, you were ready to leave for dinner before 6:00, which was their arrival time.”-General_Relative2838.
“NTA, if her parents are chronically early she could have warned you.”
“This is exactly something I would do, clean the apartment in the morning then get a quick 20k ride so I can shower and clean up.”- jgcrawfo.
“You planned well and they came early.”
“They should have planned better and done something before coming over.”
“Or your gf tells them that she expected them at 6pm and you both aren’t ready yet.”
“She needs to relax.”
“Doesn’t sound like her parents had an issue with what happened, only her.”
“If her parents do have an issue you weren’t ready 45 mins earlier than the agreed upon the time then they are AH and it’s their problem.”- PuzzleheadedTap4484.
“The implication is you are irresponsible because you have poor time management.”
“If this isn’t true, your gf probably was anxious/stressed/worried about the meeting.”
“Im guessing the type of people who would 45min early to something probably have some crazy standards she may be privy to?”
“Idk, I warn all my friends to wear a shirt with buttons when coming over because my parents are “old fashioned”.
“Idk her feelings are misplaced imo.”-iwannabeonreddit.
“And not a good sign that your girlfriend is blaming you when things didn’t go as she planned.”
“Lots of things in life don’t go as planned, and if her goto move is to blame her partner…”- Publius246.
“You were scheduled to be ready when your plans were supposed to start.”
“It’s not your fault they ambushed you early.”-SignalExtension8399.
“My daughter and her boyfriend are a year older than you.”
“I met him for the first time after he’d helped my daughter get all of her things packed and into the moving truck for 9 hours.”
“He was sweaty and dirty.”
“I didn’t care.”
“Here’s what I looked at: he had a good personality and, most importantly, he makes my daughter happy.”
“That’s the criteria a lot of parents have.”
“Don’t be an asshole and make our son or daughter happy.”
“We really don’t give a shit if we show up 45 minutes early and you aren’t immaculate.”
“Your girlfriend is being a little bit harsh about this one.”- Pandraswrath.
“My parents are always 10 minutes early to everything and I make sure to say what time I know they will be over in order to have everyone ready.”
“A lot of times, people send a ‘heading your way’ text and your gf should have texted you if they did.”
“She was probably nervous and I hope she apologizes.”-kochenta2020.
“They came earlier than expected.”- holiestcannoly.
“In-laws probably didn’t even care.”-pedroyarid.
“NTA you were very responsible and they came on early, sure isn’t your fault.”- bullmoosse.
“Seems like a reasonable use of your time.”- rhunter99.
Others were surprised that the OP’s girlfriend was as mad as she was after all the trouble he he had gone through earlier in the day.
“NTA at all.”
“I love that you cleaned the place, had snacks ready, and had a 30 min leeway with your plans.”
“Hope your GF can see the bigger picture.”- OutlandishnessIcy577.
“You did what you could to prepare, and couldn’t have known they would arrive so early.”-UnEazyRider.
A few others felt it was inconsiderate of the OP’s girlfriend’s parents to arrive as early as they did.
“TBH arriving to someone’s house 45 mins early as a guest is pretty rude.”- SANtoDEN.
“45 minutes early is very early.”- catfoodonmyshelf.
“They were rude.”
“10 minutes early ok.”
“Who shows up to meet the new man in their daughters life 45 minutes early?”
“That’s kinda rude of them.”-OpinionatedAussieGal.
“Nta, you were very responsible and planned your time well.”
“Not your fault they showed up unreasonably early.”- doranatethegoldfish.
“Who shows up at someone’s house 45 min early?”
“You planned accordingly, they didn’t.”
“If it were me, I would have still been napping.”
“In my underwear.”
“At least you were at the gym like a well balanced adult.”- handwritten_emojis.
It’s understandable that the OP’s girlfriend was stressed out owing to the fact that her parents were meeting her boyfriend for the first time.
But it is a shame that she felt the need to linger on the fact that they met him in his sweaty state.
Particularly as they were the ones who arrived early.
Here’s hoping she’ll soon shift her focus to the remainder of the evening, which, at least according to the OP, seems to have been a success.