There are several steps in maintaining a good living situation with one’s roommates.
This includes keeping common areas of the apartment clean, not taking up too much time in the bathroom, being quiet when necessary.
And then, of course, there’s the issue of rent.
While it is common to simply divide rent evenly between roommates, some roommates don’t find that fair.
This could be owing to the fact that one roommate has a bigger room, or that one roommate makes considerably more money than the others.
A roommate of Redditor Flaky_Mortgage_6104 felt that he should be paying a bigger share of the rent after learning how much he made.
But the original poster, (OP), flatly refused to do so, putting a strain on their living situation.
Wondering if his behavior was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole”, where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for revealing my salary and refusing to pay more for rent?”
The OP first shared how when his third roommate first moved in to his apartment, the living situation was a practical and happy one.
“I (25 M[ale]) have been sharing my apartment with my friend Alex for 4 years.”
“About two months ago Alex asked if I was willing to let a friend of his named Sophie move in with us.”
“I agreed because I planned to make a down payment on a house and move out within two years.”
“By having Sophie around she could take my place and make it so that Alex does not have to worry about any increases in expenses.”
It was when Sophie learned of the OP’s profession that things started taking a turn for the worse.
“When Sophie moved in things were good for two weeks until I had to leave for work.”
“This was when she learned that I was a Miner and leave for two weeks at a time.”
“When I got back my problems with her began when she would constantly talk about climate change.”
“She would constantly try to ‘educate’ us on how and why we should change our habits.”
“The real frustration was when she started going after me and my job.”
“She would constantly say that within 10 years I will have no job.”
“This was accompanied by having this ridiculous and false notion that I am poor and work for minimum wage.”
“To try and ‘help’ me she would constantly give me college program pamphlets and job postings to find a ‘better’ job.”
“The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she brought her parents into this.”
“Sophie made her parents think I am poor which resulted in them calling me to discuss ‘financial assistance’.”
“After declining their help and ending the call I was absolutely livid.”
“I then sat Sophie down and said that all her talk about my job, finances, and education is really pissing me off and to drop it.”
“In response, she said that she is just trying to help someone ‘worse off’.”
“This is when I snapped at her and not only told her my salary but proof I make 100K per year.”
“I then flipped the tables on her and went after her degree in environmental justice.”
“I said that it was worthless and she might as well start working at McDonald’s to pay off her debt as she will never get a real job.”
Upon learning that the OP had a more lucrative career that she did, Sophie’s desire to be charitable towards him changed completely.
“After our argument, we didn’t really speak with each other until after I returned from my next work period.”
“Upon returning this week she started demanding I pay more for rent as I make more and that I should apologize for what I said to her.”
“I refused and said that she doesn’t like me or the arrangements she is free to leave any time.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to to pay more rent.
Everyone agreed that Sophie got a taste of her own medicine after job shaming the OP, with many finding it curious that she never offered to pay more rent when she assumed the OP was poor.
“Ask her why she never offered to pay more rent than you do when she assumed you were basically destitute.”
“Is it only okay to divide rent up based on income when it means other people would pay more than she does?”- SweetPotatoFamished
“NTA.”
“More money doesn’t mean you cover more bills for people who are housemates.”
“I’d suggest to her she find a better job, and say you’re just trying to help someone ‘worse off’.”-Kokbiel
“I have an environmental studies degree and you are NTA.”
“And if your roommate had actually learned anything in college, she’d know that this is not how you address environmental issues.”- SnailyWhale
“NTA.”
“Also she is bonkers and clearly has nothing going on in her life which is why she has ample free time to obsess over you.”- zombiemiki
“NTA.”
“It’s your apartment.”
“And it doesn’t base rent on salaries.”
“She’s just upset she’s been caught out being condescending and realistically surprised you held off that long.”
“What does your other roommate say about it given he invited her?”- Selmo20
“NTA.”
“She didn’t offer to have you pay less rent when she thought you were poor.”- Jennypenny_03
“NTA she was oddly intrusive and forced herself into your your private information so I think she asked for what she got.”-GardenDivaESQ
“NTA.”
“She effed around and she found out.”- PinkedOff
“NTA.”
“Sophie is a real AH in general.”-BlueMoon5k
“This is obvious rage bait but it’s not even particularly well researched.”
“Someone doing an environmental degree will often end up in the oil or mining industry finding ways of reducing the impact of the industry on the environment.”
“So she could end up working in the mining industry and out-earning him and not getting emphysema.”
“But that wouldn’t ever give anyone a justice boner.”- Cultural-Feedback-53
“NTA.”
“I’m all about the environment, and climate change.”
“I’m also a supporter of miners and riggers getting training for other work if and when their current careers become obsolete.”
“That being said, you have to make a living, and this is what you are trained for, and may find it a fulfilling career.”
“If you guys already have a preset rent agreement, she doesn’t have the right to demand more from you.”
“She also should not be harassing you about your job, nor getting her family involved.”
“She was being presumptive, and classist to assume your pay based on the type of job.”- Romantic_AroAce
“Nothing wrong with swatting a gadfly.”
“NTA.”-He_Who_Is_Right_
“NTA.”
“She was relishing being a judgmental snob under the guise of ‘wanting to help’.”
“You showed her she’s the one who should be pitied, for more reasons than one.”-BogwitchOfTheBog
“NTA this is so weird to me as an Aussie.”
“Here everyone knows fifo (fly in fly out).”
“Miners make bank.”- Glittering-War-5748
“NTA.”
“She was the one that moved in and now she dictates how everyone should pay?”
“Maybe tell her something like you allowed her to live there, she should be thanking you.”- spnip
“NTA.”
“I’m so glad I live alone.”- yonk182
“I would have laughed at her, what can she do?”
Nothing. It’s your money.”- jrobohn66
“Is her name on the lease?”
“If not, the give her notice and drop her ass to the curb.”
“NTA.”- randomwriter90
“NTA.”
“How entitled!”- OneTwoWee000
“NTA.”
“She should have minded her own shit instead.”
“And this is coming from someone who has panic attacks from climate change.”-Sasefras
“NTA.”
“She doesn’t know you.”
“Your buddy brought her in, you didn’t disclose the reason, but it would be ironic if it was because she was struggling to find a place to live, and she has no right to assume you are working minimum wage.”
“Where does she get that idea?”
“My feeling is that it may be in part fueled by her opinions as someone who studied environmental justice.”
“Saying she won’t ever get a real job was a little mean, and it’s perfectly normal for people to get well paid jobs in industries completely unrelated to their studies.”
“I studied biological sciences and now I work as a fraud analyst at a major bank lol.”
“BUT, with that being said, I do think that perhaps she needed that wake-up call.”
“She seems to be in over her head and think that now that she has an undergraduate degree, she is an expert.”
“Let me guess, she just graduated?”
“Anyways.”
“Nope.”
“NTA.”
“Sounds like she’s got a lot of unlearning to do before she’s ready for the real world and your comment was the worst she’ll receive, then she should consider herself lucky.”- AmbiguousLemur
Funny how someone could go so quickly from seeming to worry about someone’s financial situation, to demanding they pay up.
Let’s hope that the OP can find a house he can afford sooner rather than later, as this living situation is clearly bot a healthy one.