It’s a parent’s job to make sure their children are developing good eating habits.
As tempting as it is to only feed children the food they like, it’s important that they have balanced diets, and eat some fruit and vegetables along with the cookies and potato chips.
The teenage son of Redditor EatBetter27 tended to burn calories fairly quickly as a result of the many sports he played.
As a result, the original poster (OP) made sure that he was fed healthy dinners on a regular basis.
But when her husband caught their son eating a snack with dubious nutritional value, the OP found herself on the receiving end of her husband’s wrath.
Wondering if she had, in fact done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not providing my son with healthy food?”
The OP explained that it was an after dinner snack her son fixed himself following a family meal which sent her husband into a tirade.
“My son is 14 and he is in three athletic activities.”
“Thank God at least one of them doesn’t run in the summer.”
“He eats like a vacuum.”
“I’m in charge of all the cooking, my husband the washing up, in the house.”
“I provide three squares, but if my son wants to eat outside of that, he needs to make it himself.”
“He’s fine with this and even goes grocery shopping with me to pick out his own ingredients.”
“Now, I make healthy meals for the kids.”
“Last night dinner was baked chicken, squash and whole grain rice.”
“Right before bed son wants to eat again, so he went into the kitchen and made half a box, so about 8-10 oz, of dried pasta, which, once cooked, is a TON of pasta.”
“He drowned it in olive oil and red wine vinegar and mixed in salt, black pepper, and garlic powder.”
“Then he poured half a jar of olives on top.”
“So just carbs, fat and salt basically.”
“My husband came downstairs, saw what he was eating and got upset.”
“He said ‘Christ [son], eat a vegetable!”
“Son got defensive and said olives are vegetables”
“. My husband said they aren’t real vegetables.”
“They were getting heated so I stepped in and said he had a healthy meal earlier and will burn it all off at practice tomorrow anyway.”
“My husband turned on me and said ‘this is your fault’.”
“‘If you weren’t too lazy to make the kid a snack he wouldn’t be eating that crap’.”
“He’s going to have a heart attack at forty’.”
“Then he stormed off.”
“My husband’s comments hurt my feelings.”
“What’s worse, my sister agrees with him.”
“She said I could have made him a salad and it wouldn’t have taken long.”
“I just really don’t think it’s that bad because he eats healthy three times a day, and he burns off all the carbs and fat at practice.”
“I know that was a lot of salt though…”
“AITA?”
“Am I just justifying because I’m lazy?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not remotely the a**hole for allowing her son to eat pasta after dinner.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s husband overreacted terribly, as not only had she just made her family a very healthy dinner, but that what her son was eating wasn’t even terribly unhealthy, while many others pointed out how her husband could have easily made their son a healthy snack himself.
“What prevented his highness from making him a snack?”
“Nah, I would not let that slide.”
“If she doesn’t like what your son is eating, he can get off his LAZY ass and make snacks.”
“F that.”
“And tell your sister the same thing.”
“She can mind her own damn business or she needs to get her a** over to your house and start whipping up those healthy snacks.”
“NTA.”
“I would be livid.”- SnazzySusieQ
“Is your husband incapable of whipping up a salad for your son to eat along with his pasta?”- P1xt
“NTA.”
“A bowl of pasta with olive oil isn’t like you’re shoving 10 Papa John pizzas and 4 Big Mac’s down his throat.”
“Plus, the kid made it for himself and didn’t ask you for help.”
“I’d take that as a win that he’s willing to cook for himself.”- ihavem0r3fun
“NTA.”
“If your husband felt that strongly about it, why didn’t he make your son a salad?”
“Why isn’t he making any of the snacks?”
“There’s nothing wrong with a carby, salty snack now and then.”
“Your son is also fourteen, and he can cook for himself if he wants something outside of meals.”
“If not, it sounds like you’d be cooking food all day long.”
“If your husband wants him to have healthier snacks, that’s totally cool.”
“He can batch cook them for Son.”- TaiDollWave
“NTA.”
“Here was breakfast on a Saturday when i was around 16: 6 eggs, 4 slices of toast, 5 sausages, half a pack of bacon.”
“Sometimes I was still hungry after that and would eat a bowl of cereal.”
“I didn’t break 130lbs till i was 18.”
“Active teenage boy generally has an inferno for a metabolism.”
“As long as he understands that metabolism has a hard-set off switch at 30, he’s fine. and you absolutely are not lazy for fixing a 14 yr old a snack.”
“Remarkably, they are known to have hands.”- twifferTheGnu
“NTA.”
“Your husband can make him a snack if he’s so upset about it.”- blinkingsandbeepings
“NTA, first I don’t like dividing foods in health and unhealthy.”
“But if we want to dig into this, he ate pasta with good fats and spices.”
“He needs carbs for his muscles to recover from all the exercise, and if his body is telling him it needs more he should give it more.”
“Also it’s not like he ate ‘junk’ food.”
“Great mum for standing with him!”-Bulky_Ad9399
“NTA.”
“I have a younger brother and when we were teenagers no amount of food would keep him satisfied.”
“He was also an elite athlete and just ate everything in sight.”
“Even if you made him a salad he probably would have done the same thing.”
“If your husband is so worried about it maybe he should try cooking a healthy meal once in a while.”
“Also, your sister needs to mind her own.”- anxious__rose
“NTA.”
“Why didn’t your husband make him something if he has such strong opinions about it?”-yachtiewannabe
“NTA.”
“And your husband and sister are working under some seriously misogynistic notions.”
“If it meant so much to your husband that your son ate veggies, then he could have fixed something for your son.”
“Besides, he’d already had a balanced dinner and pasta and olive oil isn’t an unhealthy snack.”
“At any rate, at 14 a kid should be able to make their own snacks.”
“By 14 my own kids were responsible for planning and preparing one meal a week.”
“It sounds like your son as well, because there wasn’t anything wrong with what he made for himself.”
“Honestly when I read your title I expected to hear about a kid who only ate pizza and Twinkies or something.”
“Your kid is fine but your husband was the AH here.”- joanclaytonesq
“NTA.”
“Unless your son has insulin resistance or diabetes, a ton of carbs once in a while won’t hurt him.”
“If your husband is so concerned, he can meal prep extra meals for your son.”-TinyRascalSaurus
“NTA.”
“First, it’s good for your son to practice cooking for himself.”
“You’re giving him a great opportunity to learn a valuable life skill, and if he chooses to make unhealthy food for himself, he’s old enough to make that choice for snacks.”
“Also, as someone who did a lot of athletics as a teen and eventually played sports in college, sometimes people don’t realize that the nutritional needs of an extremely active teen are very, very different than that of a sedentary adult.”
“He might actually need a high amount of carbs, fats, and salts because he might be right and might actually be burning all of that off at practice.”
“If you’re really concerned about his eating habits, maybe get him access to a medical professional who can help him understand his body’s unique nutritional needs and help him come up with snack ideas to meet those.”
“If he’s already willing to participate in grocery shopping, he may have an interest and take to this quite well.”
“Your husband is an asshole though.”
“If he doesn’t like what son is eating, he can make him a healthier snack himself.”
“But I think your approach is far better.”
“Food policing is more likely to do long term harm than good, especially when he might actually be trying to get what his body needs.”- Meemaws_BearCheese
It’s quite upsetting to hear the OP’s husband refer to her as lazy, especially as she cooked him a fairly sizable dinner right beforehand.
And one can’t help but agree with the Reddit community in pointing out how the OP’s husband could have very easily made their son a healthy snack himself if he was so concerned.
Perhaps if he’s in charge of all the cooking, not to mention monitoring everything his son eats, for a period of time, he might realize how hurtful his words to his wife were.