Getting dressed up is practically second nature to some people.
Even when going out for a simple breakfast at the diner or meeting friends for coffee, there are some people who simply can’t leave the house without a jacket and tie.
Such was the case for the 12-year-old son of a recent Redditor, who decided to attend a casual, family gathering fully decked out.
While his snazzy attire was appreciated by most in attendance, the boy’s cousins took it as an opportunity to make fun of the boy, leading to a humiliating incident.
Wondering if he handled the aftermath of his son’s incident as well as he could have, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for expecting my sister to reimburse me for my son’s suit?”
The OP first explained how his 12-year-old son felt he picked the perfect outfit for a family Easter gathering, even if it would be a far cry from what. others would be wearing.
“I (38 M[ale]) am a father to two boys, Andrew (14 M) and Marshall (12 M).”
“Yesterday my parents held an Easter gathering at their house.”
“Me, my parents, and my four siblings and their kids were all invited.”
“Marshall told me that he was planning on wearing what he wore to church to my parents’ place, a suit and tie.”
“My wife and I reminded Marshall that everyone was gonna be dressed more casually, but he said he didn’t care.”
“I wasn’t too surprised, because Marshall has always been kind of a sharp-dresser.”
The OP also shared how he doesn’t have the best relationship with one of his sisters, and her twin sons and teenage daughter likewise don’t always get along with his two sons.
“All of my siblings and their kids were there when we arrived, including my sister, Sarah (44 F[emale]), who I never really got along with.”
“Her twins (both 16 M) and daughter (14 F) were also there.”
“Sarah spoils her kids rotten and they’ve always been super bratty because of that.”
“Every family gathering they’re always pretty rude to their cousins and they always act super entitled.”
The OP’s nephews and nieces found Marshall’s clothing to be an opportunity to poke fun at him, taking their joking around to a fairly extreme level.
“Unsurprisingly, Sarah’s kids were relentlessly picking on Marshall for choosing to wear a suit when almost everyone else was dressed more casually.”
“I could tell it really bothered Marshall, but he did his best to not let it get to his head.”
“He did his best to ignore them and he just hung out with Andrew and his cousins that he gets along with.”
“At around 4:30, we all gathered for dinner outside.”
“Sarah’s kids kept picking on all of their cousins the whole time, but especially Marshall, because of his choice to wear a suit.”
“Again, he did his best to ignore them, but I still felt really bad.”
“For dessert, my mom made strawberry and chocolate milkshakes for everyone in two large blenders that she had.”
“When everyone there was done, there was still about a half blender of chocolate milkshake and a quarter blender of strawberry.”
“Sarah’s kids decided it would be funny to dump them on Marshall and ruin his suit, so that’s exactly what they did.”
“Poor Marshall was super embarrassed afterwards and ran away crying.”
“My wife went to go chase him and calm him down.”
“I had enough at that point, so I grabbed Andrew and left.”
But the OP felt that there should be consequences for both his niece and nephews, as well as his cousin, for ruining Marshall’s suit, and felt he came up with the perfect solution.
“I sent Sarah the dry cleaning bill and told her that I am expecting her to pay it.
“And that if the dry cleaners can’t fix Marshall’s suit, then she will have to reimburse me for the suit (along with the dress shirt and tie) as well, because she acted like it was no big deal that her kids decided to bully Marshall for no reason.”
“She then told me that she doesn’t think that she should have to reimburse me and that I’m a terrible father for having my son wear a suit to a casual gathering.”
“I blew up at her telling her that she has no business in saying how my son should dress and that she needs to learn how to discipline her bratty teenagers and that she needs to stop spoiling them.”
“I do feel like that may have been uncalled for.”
“My parents and all of my other siblings are all on my side believing that Sarah should reimburse me, but they do believe that I should have had Marshall dress more casually.”
“I disagree though, because there’s nothing wrong with Marshall wanting to look his best.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP handled the situation perfectly, and was not the a**hole for expecting his sister to pay for the damage caused to Marshall’s suit.
Just about everyone agreed since the OP’s niece and nephews deliberately damaged Marshall’s suit, Sarah should either pay for repairs or reimburse him, with many failing to see anything wrong with Marshall’s decision to wear a suit.
“NTA.”
“Marshall wasn’t dressed inappropriately, it was a family party on a major holiday, not a hike through the Grand Canyon.”
“His cousins ruined his clothes on purpose.”
“It wasn’t an accident, they wanted to embarrass him and mess up his clothes.”
“Their parents absolutely should pay to fix the problem, and if they were decent parents they would make their kids earn back every cent.”-AccessibleBeige.
“NTA.”
“It doesn’t matter what Marshall was wearing.”
“Although in an ideal world, she’d take a step back and ask herself if she really wants to insinuate he was ‘asking for it’ based on how he was dressed.”
“Her kids deliberately wrecked his clothes.”
“She needs to take responsibility for that.”- mm172.
“It’s cool that Marshall likes dressing nice for every and any occasion.”
“While it sometimes can be out of place to not dress according to the event, the only time when eyebrows should be raised is when you come ‘under-dressed’.”
“Your sister would’ve found some other excuse if he came dressed more casually.”
“Saying that ‘kids will do stuff like that sometimes’, ‘he was equally at fault’, etc.”
“Blaming you for ‘allowing’ Marshall to wear the suit is just wacky-wacky.”
“He’s old enough to wear what he wants, it’s not like he’s a 6-year-old who doesn’t want to wear warm clothing when playing in the snow.”
“NTA.”
“Your comment wasn’t uncalled for, nor should you forced him to dress more casually.”
“Because the only ‘reason’ for doing that would be as to not ‘make them’ bully him.”
“Dressing nice doesn’t mean dressing more expensive.”
“Casual clothing could be more expensive than ‘nicer’ clothing.”-haveitgood.
“Her kids ruined your son’s clothes on purpose.”
“She should pay for the damage.”
“NTA.”
Others felt that the behavior of Sarah and her children was all the justification the OP needed to cut them out of his and his family’s life.
“NTA, but your sister probably needs to save up money for attorney’s fees for her future felons so she probably can’t afford a dry cleaning bill.”-Cultural-Guide1325.
“NTA and don’t go over there and expose your kids to the bratty bullying.”
“Not after she pays, not in the future, never.”
“They shouldn’t have to put up with this.”
“That’s a serious thing in most jurisdictions–they’d better learn now not to do shit like that or the next time they try that with a non-cousin, the consequences will be way more serious.”- Sea-Mud5386.
There were a select few, however, who felt that the OP should have intervened sooner, as he was well aware that Marshall was being picked on, yet chose to do nothing.
“I hope we aren’t glossing over the fact that you saw your kid being picked on and just…watched?”
“Yta for that.”- Rapidbetryal.
The OP subsequently acknowledged how he shouldn’t have stood by while Marshall was bullied, while also giving an update as to where his relationship with Sarah currently stands, and a major decision he made regarding future family gatherings.
“Thank you all for commenting.”
“I saw a lot of comments saying how I should have directly intervened more and prevented the bullying, which I failed to do, so my wife and I apologized to Marshall for that.”
“I’m also gonna teach both Andrew and Marshall how to defend themselves if something like this happens again, as well as stand up for them more.”
“I have also told my parents and all of my other siblings that I will not be attending any more family gatherings if Sarah and her kids are invited, that is until she pays for the suit and her kids’ behaviors improves.”
“I’m also probably gonna go no contact with her for awhile.”
It’s pretty shocking that Sarah seems to ignore the fact that her children deliberately destroyed Marshall’s suit, not to mention the fact that his wearing it justified their actions.
Paying for the dry cleaning, or buying Marshall a new suit, seems like the very least she could do.