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‘Strictly Minimalist’ Redditor Sparks Drama By Warning Fiancée ‘It’s Either Me Or The Tablecloth’

JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

Redditor aita-meorcrochet asked:     

“AITA for telling my fiance it’s either me or the tablecloth?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Literally so stupid that we’re having this argument, but I’m curious as to who’s in the wrong.”

“Me and my fiancée just moved in together. We live a strictly minimalist lifestyle.”

“For those who don’t know, we don’t buy anything we don’t need, have no decor or knick knacks, and don’t have anything that doesn’t fit our needs. Basically anything useless.”

“Both of us just prefer to live like this. I grew up with hoarder parents and can’t live with too many things.”

“Well, as a housewarming gift, my fiancee’s cousin made her a table (runner?). It literally looks so tacky but I accepted and said thanks.”

“I already knew that no way this was going in my house. When we were alone, I told my fiancée to get rid of it.”

“It just was so ugly and didn’t fit the theme of our house. This upset my fiancée and she went on a rant about how time consuming it is to make something like that.”

“I told her I didn’t care and that I wasn’t allowing it. She got pissed and left.”

“Usually my fiancée is level headed, but I guess she’s really close with her cousin and the gift meant a lot to her. However, growing up with my trauma I can’t allow this.”

“I texted her and told her that it’s either me or the tablecloth. My mental health is much too important.”

“I also want to clarify that our table is expensive, so covering it up with something so tacky is really disappointing. I told her can’t she just ask her cousin to make coasters instead.”

“That’s the only way I’ll compromise.”

“Anyways, she hasn’t responded yet and I want to know if I overreacted.”

Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors were of one mind in their response.

“‘I texted her and told her that it’s either me or the tablecloth’. God I hope she picks the tablecloth.”

“Please come back and update us. YTA.” ~ Dszquphsbnt

“Same! YTA, tablecloth for the win, even if it’s actually tacky and not ‘tacky’.” ~ Tsarina-Mama

“A table cloth can keep you warmer at night.  More than this cold hearted a**hole.” ~ epileftric

“I am also on Team Tablecloth! I hope this allows this woman to see how insane this is!” ~ Viperbunny

“I mean if I had to guess this has been a long time coming for her and this was the straw that broke the camels back but just imagine OP going out on dates and talking about how he was engaged once but it ended over a tablecloth.” ~ cjpren11

“Tablecloths don’t give stupid ultimatums. Go tablecloth!” ~ OrangeSockMonkey

“YTA. You ‘won’t allow it’?!”

“Congratulations on dying on the stupidest hill, and alienating your fiancée in the process.” ~ arizonakarenina

“OP, massive YTA. The silver lining is that fiancée gets the red flag now, instead of after the marriage.”

“OP is wedded to their overcorrective anti-hoarding lifestyle (like that isn’t also a response to trauma?), and is willing to ditch a relationship rather than seek therapy.”

“They’ve just moved in together; this is merely Conflict #1 in a long line of conflicts. Nearly every time someone gives them a gift, this is going to happen.”

“Given OP is not willing to change, I 100% support them making this ultimatum, though because it’s an a**hole move, and the fiancée deserves to know how much of an AH OP is.”

“OP’s fiancée will be forced to recognize that they will never be willing to compromise. I’d say that’s an excellent reason to break up ‘over a tablecloth’.” ~ FeuerroteZora

“Can you imagine if they ever have kids?! If OP can’t handle a table runner then OP will be in for a big surprise with the amount of clutter kids cause.”

“OP needs therapy for their childhood trauma. Its clearly caused some lasting affects that are having negative consequences in relationships.” ~ Asocial_dragon

“Seriously, if he doesn’t get some therapy, toys are going to give him a nervous breakdown. Or he’ll ban them entirely and end up raising a serial killer.” ~ broketothebone

“The good news is when she decides to leave there won’t be much stuff for them to divide up.” ~ cjpren11

“You can be minimalist and have a table runner. This sounds like a well intentioned, homemade gift from a beloved family member, let your fiancée keep it.”

“But by all means, if this is the hill you want to die on OP, YTA and you can die on this stupid hill.” ~ Bellachan

“Anyone else noticed he said ‘my house’? Hello they live together. YTA.” ~ Cranberry_Bland

“YTA. Your partner also lives in the home and gets to have a say in how it looks and what is in it.”

“One HANDMADE table runner from a close family member isn’t exactly a first step towards hoarding and you are projecting your parents’ issues onto your partner.”

“Also, saying you don’t like a handmade gift and then telling the giver that you would rather they make you something different is pretty rude as well.” ~ dreamwastoid

“In the post he makes it sound like he’s more upset about how the tablecloth looks rather than it taking up space.”

“It doesn’t sound like he’s responding with trauma from the hoarding, more like he’s just being a snob about interior decor.” ~ soft_fuzzy_man

“YTA. Just because you have untreated childhood trauma that you’re overcorrecting from doesn’t mean this is a legitimate hill to die on.”

“If a tablecloth is what’s causing you to consider ending your relationship (almost MARRIAGE, dude), then get f’king therapy and stop making it your fiancée’s problem.” ~ RocheCoach

“Also a tablecloth is a Functional Item Mr. Minimalist. sheesh.”

“It’s for saving your table against wear.”

“Dictating what you ‘allow’ in your house means it isn’t her house. Don’t use your trauma as an excuse to be a controlling jerk.” ~ Creative-Training175

The message was clear. Reddit was completely team tablecloth.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac.