Not all divorces bring a complete close of contact between the once-married couple. If there is a child involved, things are a bit more complicated.
And as if that wasn’t hard enough, one woman was recently forced to juggle an additional puzzling dynamic introduced by her ex-husband.
She described the whole ordeal in a post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
Ok_initial_364, as she’s known on the site, laid out the specifics right in the post’s title.
“AITA for not wanting to have my ex’s stepdaughter some weekends?”
The Original Poster (OP) kicked off the post with some facts about the people involved.
“I [32-year-old female] have an 11 year old daughter with my ex. We divorced two years ago because he cheated. He is now with the other woman and is married to her.”
“She has a daughter who will be 11 soon.”
A new development caught OP by surprise.
“Ex’s [Mother-in-law] is sick and his wife has been going to stay some weekends to take care of her. Ex works weekends (nights, usually) and he asked me if I would take his stepdaughter those weekends his wife is gone.”
He framed it as being more time for the girls to bond. I said no. He called it unfair because I gave it no consideration. I told him I didn’t need to consider it and that my answer was no.
“He said our daughter might say she wants it if I ask her and that they would throw me some cash for it.”
But that wasn’t the whole truth.
“Eventually, after I came down hard on my no, he said the reason he wants me to do it is our daughter has chosen not to have a close relationship with his stepdaughter…”
“…and he thinks my interacting with her and welcoming her into my home would cultivate our daughters willingness.”
OP was clear and firm with her ex-husband.
“I asked him was she mean or rude to the girl, he said no reluctantly and I told him that was all I was willing to interfere in and I am not responsible for cultivating our daughters relationship with his stepdaughter.”
“I told him the discussion was over. He and his wife are pissed about my refusal and say I would be helping them out while they’re in need.”
“AITA for not wanting to take her on occasional weekends?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked to provide feedback by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors took OP’s side.
“Not your problem. Also, you have no reason to believe his story about the girls needing quality time. Is that true or are he and his new wife looking for a cheap/free babysitter?” — brassninja
“NTA- not your kid, not your problem. Let her family figure it out.” — MrsHelix11
“NTA If he wants the girls to bond, he can take them on a trip somewhere himself. This girl is not your family or responsibility.” — Funk_Dunker
“Why is ‘cultivating a relationship’ your problem? Couldn’t be less your business!” — spleen5000
Some were simply shocked they were at her ex’s bold request.
“NTA lmao dude cheated on YOU and the woman HOMEWRECKED your marriage WITH HIM?? And they think they can ask you for ANYTHING????????”
“BRUHHHHHH I can’t help but laugh this is so funny. Not your problem at all, not your kid, and they don’t deserve sh** from you.” — wildrabidpartydog
“NTA this women had an affair and married your husband and wants you to watch her child…bahahahah…ya that would a hard NO! I can’t believe he had the balls to ask!!!” — eyespy_01
“Does he want you to get the mail, water the plants and walk the dog too? Of course NTA.”
“Talk about rubbing salt into a wound…” — ifartalot2
Some focused on OP’s daughter.
“NTA you’re not responsible to care for the child of the woman that literally played a hand in breaking up your marriage.”
“Also, if your daughter doesn’t like her step sister, guaranteed there’s a valid reason for it. If your ex husband is so worried about them not bonding maybe he should look into the reason why his daughter isn’t a fan of his step daughter.”
“Maybe figure out if some sh** is going down behind closed doors.” — Idk_wat_im_doin_here
“NTA at all. Your daughter needs one on one time with her mom. It’s jut fair if she’s asked to split her time with you with this girl. Particularly if she does not like her.”
“She’s an individual, they are not a package deal just because their parents are married. Your ex is only asking this to convenience him. You need to do what is best for your daughter.” — HeatherAnne1975
“Nta, yes it might help them bond, but it also could make your daughter resent you if she isnt getting along with her stepsister and the adults force her into it.” — Taadaa93
Sometimes, the internet is all a person needs to feel empowered and trust in their own decision-making.