Family is not always about helping each other. Some people like to take advantage, and it makes sense to cut those people out of our lives.
Or, at least hold them accountable for their actions.
Redditor DrunkenDad2003 encountered this very issue with her dad. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for calling the police on my dad when he stole the money that was meant for my child’s birthday?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 22 F, I have a son who’s going to be 4 next month.”
“I’m low income so birthdays and Christmas are something I need to save for year round but I always make a fairly big deal out of them because I never had that as a young child due to my father’s inability to spend money on anything that wasn’t a necessity or alcohol.”
“When I got my first job at 16, ¾ of my paycheck was taken by him to support his addiction.”
“Now, it may be worth a note that I kept this money in cash and in my house. My mom has a key to my house that I’ve told her not to give my dad access to, she has a key because she minds my kids 3 days a week while I work to cut down on childcare costs.”
“My mom knew about the fact I was saving and I think she let it slip to my dad but I’m really not sure.”
OP’s dad decided to visit her house while she was away.
“He somehow managed to get my moms key and went into my house while I was working on Thursday.”
“He had found and stolen the money saved for this years Christmas and my sons birthday and taken it. I knew it was him because I have a security camera on both doors and in the spare bedroom where it was kept, they’re all fairly obviously security cameras.”
“I didn’t bother to even check until Friday evening though, when I was going to gather some to get my son his present while he was at his dad’s for the weekend.”
“When I noticed all of it was gone I checked the cameras and sure enough found out it was my dad fairly quick.”
OP went straight to the cops.
“I didn’t bother contacting my mom first, I just called the police, they came and took a statement off me and went to my parents house to get one off my mom and dad.”
“In the space of maybe 36 hours my dad had managed to spend upwards of €250 on drink, I’d imagine in a pub where its more expensive but I’m not sure for certain.”
“I went to the station Saturday morning to give in the CCTV footage when I was informed there was nothing they could do as the money seems to have disappeared into thin air.”
“When I called my mom and told her this, she got really angry at me because having a theft charge could cost my dad his career and get them evicted from their accommodation and all this hullabaloo.”
“She thinks I’m an asshole for calling the police before calling her and asking what happened.”
“I don’t think I am but its because my dad ruined a birthday and potentially a Christmas for my son. AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were conflicted about who was at fault.
“NTA. Your father is a thief a deserves to be treated as such. You should probably take the key back from your mom too.” ~ talibob
“Op should change the locks. Who knows if her father made a copy of the key.”
“Op should go back to the police and find out if she can press trespassing charges against her father. He might have taken the key from the mother but he still committed unauthorized entry into her home.”
“Op should also stop allowing her mother to provide child care and go no contact with both parents.” ~ Avebury1
“Can’t they proceed with the theft charges even though he spent the stolen money?”
“NTA, OP. Don’t negotiate, don’t waiver. Pursue it to the maximum you’re allowed, then file a civil suit to get a court order for him to pay you back over time. You and your son now have to suffer for no reason; your dad at least ought to be made to suffer as a direct consequence of his own actions.” ~ JuliaX1984
“Seriously, report it on your taxes. They will ask for a police report number, you have one. NTA by the way. My wife’s mother and step father never celebrated her birthday so it is a big deal to her that we go all out for the kids and grandchildren. I am sorry you have to deal with this, but don’t back down.” ~ jdapper1
“In Iowa, someone stole my non verbal son’s ipad, that he uses to speak. Was able to see from a laptop sites they logged in on, their youtube with their kid making videos with it, and some other stuff (this was before find my iphone stuff). Had to do all the legwork but eventually found the person who stole it.”
“I guess my kid put it down at Walgreens, she worked there. Police called her, she said she would drop it off after she went on vacation. They said that since she gave it back they wouldn’t do anything. Walgreens said that they were sorry and gave me a $25 gift certificate. She kept her job. During all that time I had to buy a new ipad, so I wound up with two. I was the one who came out the worst out of it. The whole thing is ridiculous.” ~ Comfortable_Goose_42
“OP is obviously in England but I can tell you from personal experience that it’s the same dealing with the cops in the U.S.”
“No matter how flagrant the crime, no matter how much evidence, they don’t really give a crap about most petty crime. It’s infuriating. I’ve had friends show images from cameras, which they used to search online and FOUND PREVIOUS MUGSHOTS of a convicted burglar, and the cops still didn’t help.”
“I’m speaking of bigger city and suburbs, perhaps it’s different in small towns.”
“Also, OP not at all the ah.” ~ rexmus1
OP is in no way at fault.