Kids are often known to be picky eaters.
Sometimes these dietary preferences come out a little later in life, coinciding with angsty teenager-isms.
Redditor Legitimate_Bike_8459 is currently dealing with a teenage daughter who has a new desire to be vegan.
A couple spats about this new diet eventually drove the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**Hole?” (AITA).
There she asked:
“AITA for “forcing” my daughter to eat pork?”
She went on to tell her story.
“I [Female age 35] have 2 kids, Jonah [Male age 18] and Ashli [Female age16].”
“Recently, Ashli has wanted to go vegan which to be honest was really out of nowhere as she is a very picky eater and barely eats anything aside from chicken (with some vegetables I sneak into the sauce).”
“I did allow her to go vegan when she told me and I told her I’d buy extra veggies/beans for her but I also told her I would not be purchasing any fake meat or egg because they are far too expensive and that she’d have to buy her B-12 supplements herself.”
“She then told me I didn’t care about her or the animals because I fund my sons keto diet, however, the keto diet is no work to me and no extra cost as he will just eat the meat and vegetables I prepare rather than the starch.”
“She has been a bit snippy with me since. This morning I made a fruit salad so Ashli would have something to eat, I also made bacon and toasted some bread in the same pan I cooked bacon in.”
“edit because everyone keeps saying this (IT WASN’T FOR HER OR GIVEN TO HER. THE FRUIT WAS GIVEN TO HER)”
“During breakfast I was busy cleaning up the kitchen when I heard screaming, Ashli had a piece of toast and said she tasted pork and that I was trying to get her to eat meat.”
“I was confused and told her I did not do that as I always use the same pan and she knows it and I made the fruit salad for her. She threw a fit saying I wasn’t supportive to her veganism.”
“She then refused to eat because she’s worried I will “sneak” meat into her food to I told her to stop being lazy and cook for herself if she doesn’t trust me instead of expecting me to beg her to eat.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. If she knows you always toast bread in bacon fat, then she should have turned down the toast.”
“Although I’m curious: If the son does keto, the toast wasn’t for him. Was it meant for her or another member of the household?” – TemptingPenguin369
“A picky eater turned vegan raises the possibility that this is about further restricting her diet rather than veganism per se.” – BlueIsTheOnlyColour
“NTA. I was going to say exactly that, she can cook for herself. She is 16, perfectly capable.”
“BTW, egg is not vegan.” – v2den
“NTA. You made her a vegan meal. She is 16. She can make her own breakfast.”
“Also, if she really does want to become vegan, it should be on her to make sure what she eats is free of animal products.”
“It’s not like you lied, she simply grabbed something without making sure it was safe for her to eat. That’s really not on you in my opinion.”
“I really don’t understand everyone saying you’re the a**hole. While it might have sounded harsh, telling her that if she doesn’t trust you she can cook for herself is fair.”
“I mean, what other solution is there? Either she trusts you or she doesn’t.”
“One thing I might consider is using the money you would have spent on her portion of meat (because meat is expensive), and instead giving that to her to be able to buy vegan options for herself.”
“That seems both fair and will allow her some freedom in what she wants to purchase/make.” – SUPERSAMMICH6996
“Practical advice:”
- “Boil water and flaxseed, while still hot, strain the seeds and keep the liquid. When it cools down the water will be thick.”
- “That’s an easy egg substitute, can even be whipped if I’m not wrong. (Don’t know how expensive flaxseed is where you live, but it’s an option.)”“Also, you can grind the leftover seeds to sneak extra fiber into meals.”
- “If you use canned garbanzo beans the water can also be whipped into an egg substitute, it’s called aquafaba (might be wrong about the name)”
“Ask your daughter AND SON to participate in the planning and execution. Gotta put their money where her mouth is.”
“Being vegan/keto is not easy, can’t avoid the kitchen forever. Cooking is an essential life skill.”
“May I recommend this YouTube channel? She has a series called scrappy cooking (did you know you can used onion peels and turn them into seasoning?) and it’s all fully vegan.” – Feisty_Assistant5560
“Okay, you are treating your son’s diet differently. You don’t consider it extra work because you like the food. But maybe you’ll find some vegan recipes that you’ll like, too.”
“Maybe you don’t mean it to come off this way, but I can see why she feels like you’re favoring your son.”
“What if you suggested that starting out, you’d be up for preparing some vegan recipes with her? It would show her that you’re taking an interest in something that she seems to care about for now.”
“Also, if it were me, I’d really monitor that she’s taking the vitamin B12, at least to start with. Goodness, I’d do the same for my husband, too, much less a teen who’s still living in the house.”
“I mean, isn’t this what it means to be family? To take an interest in and support each other?” – wearehereorarewe
“ESH”
“She’s unreasonable—not because of being vegan, but because of how her overall pickiness combines with it to make it very difficult to feed her.”
“but”
“‘however, the keto diet is no work to me and no extra cost as he will just eat the meat and vegetables I prepare rather than the starch.’”
“Meat is more expensive than grains, potatoes, etc. If he’s not eating the starch, he’s eating more meat to get the same amount of calories.”
“So it’s factually incorrect that you’re not spending more money on him because of his diet.”
“I don’t blame her for seeing some favoritism.” – Rivka333
“You need to take your daughter and get her evaluated for an eating disorder. Unfortunately teens, intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes use being vegetarian or vegan as an excuse to eat less.”
“Please note I’m not an expert, but a 16 year old girl who’s already a picky eater suddenly deciding to be vegan without understanding neither eggs nor bread are vegan raises all my reg flags for eating disorders.”
“And besides that, as a growing teen a vegan diet done haphazardly could leave her very malnourished.”
“16 is certainly old enough to research, plan, and pay for a vegan diet, but it’s a lot of work and expense that she doesn’t sound mature enough for.”
“Also have you taught either of your children to cook or how to budget/grocery shop? I don’t think it’s fair to call her lazy if she hasn’t been taught how to cook healthy meals.”
“Both of your children could easily be responsible for one dinner a week.
“If your daughter does want to be vegan it would be a good experience for her to make a vegan meal for the family based on a budget you set.” – threefrogsonalog
“I’m going to go with YTA. It sounds as if you are going out of your way to make keto meals for your son.”
“Fruit salad isn’t a balanced meal for a vegan or anyone else.”
“It sounds like you are at the very least showing favoritism. Certainly there is a limit to what a parent has to provide for their children.”
“However, when you are being sure to have keto bread and making toast in a pan with bacon grease, it sounds like you are leaning in one direction.” – ionmoon
“ESH.”
“You’re an a**hole, but only for telling her she has to buy her own B-12 supplements.”
“B-12 is really important, she isn’t going to get enough of it from food (if you aren’t buying her mock meats, which are sometimes supplemented with it, I’m guessing you’ve not paying for nutritional yeast either), and it’s so cheap.”
“A $10 bottle will last most of the year.”
“It’s one thing if you don’t want to pay for mock meats. Nobody is going to get sick because they aren’t eating Impossible burgers.”
“B12 is a health thing though, and this is still your kid and you still have an obligation to keep her healthy.”
“I’m assuming she’s got enough fun money to buy it herself, but $10 out of her budget is a lot more than $10 out of your budget.”
“Further, I’d argue that you are spending more to feed your son a keto diet.”
“If he’s not filling up on carbs, he’s eating more meat (which is expensive) and more veggies (which can also be expensive, depending on what veggies you’re buying).”
“Your daughter is eating beans instead of meat, and you can’t cough up some money for the occasional overpriced vegan treat? C’mon. Also fruit salad is not a balanced meal for breakfast.”
“Your daughter is an a**hole – probably – for eating toast that wasn’t hers and then acting like you forced it down her throat.”
“I’d be interested in hearing her side of this story though; if you’ve tampered with her food before or she feels as unsupported as I suspect she does based on what you’ve told us here, I might have a different take.”
“As others have said, both she AND your son could probably stand to learn to start cooking their own meals.” – peony_chalk
Perhaps this experience will encourage some curiosity in the kitchen.