Mother’s Day is a day for children and spouses to show their appreciation for mothers.
This appreciation can be shown in many different ways, including giving a lovely card, cooking a celebratory meal, or even leaving mom alone for the day.
Redditor BadMomsChristmas was thrilled with the prospect of having a day to herself on Mother’s Day.
But when she shared her excitement with friends, she was frequently met with horror.
With her skills as a mother suddenly thrown into doubt, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wanting to be without my children on Mother’s Day?”
The OP first gave an insight as to what her daily routine is like in her household, and her work/life balance.
“Here me out.”
“40-something mom with elementary aged kids.”
“First, I love them more than words, yadda yadda.”
“Husband is awesome and we have a great relationship.”
“He definitely does his share of child rearing.’
“Not exactly 50/50 due to logistics of our jobs, but definitely does more housework than I do.”
“We are really one of those happy families.”
“I can hear Keith Morrison on our Dateline intro now.”
“But, I’m TIRED.”
“And crave QUIET.”
“I do drop-off every morning bc hubs goes to work at 6 am.”
“Getting the kids up, dressed, fed, packed and off to school – ranges from seamless cheerful mornings (rare) all the way to all of us screaming and crying and punishments threatened (luckily also rare).”
“But, kids will be kids, and so the 10th time of ‘Mom? Mom? Maaam? Maaaaaammmm!’ from two floors away (while I’m in the bathroom no less), combined with ‘X hit me’, ‘Y stole my spoon’, ‘I forgot to do my homework’, ‘I can’t find my shoes’, drive me effing batty.”
“I work a full day at a semi-demanding job where I talk to people most hours of the day.”
“Weekends are generally pretty chill without too many commitments with maybe an hour or two where the kids are preoccupied and I can have ‘me time’ to read a book or stare at TikTok or whatever.”
With Mother’s Day weekend approaching, the OP’s husband presented her with a proposition on how she could spend most of Mother’s Day that got her extremely excited, until she heard other people’s reaction to it.
“Hubs volunteered to take the kids Friday afternoon to father-in-law (FIL)’s house and be back Sunday afternoon, Mother’s Day.”
“I love this idea as it gives me TWO mornings to sleep in and an entire full day to myself.”
“Plus the kids love FIL’s house and will have a blast.”
“Well , to hear others reactions to the fact that I will wake up Sunday morning to a quiet house obviously means I am a horrible person and really don’t love my kids at all.”
“I mean, ‘(gasp!) what MOTHER doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her CHILDREN!’ “
“Hi, Yes, that would be me.”
“Someone even told my husband he was TA for making Mother’s Day about him and his family, who I love by the way.”
“I want time to myself but please tell me – AITA?”
“This is happening regardless of what the internet votes, so more just curious on how bad I should feel about it.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not at all an a**hole for wanting to spend a quiet day at home on mother’s day.
Everyone agreed that mothers should spend Mother’s Day however they wanted, with Many other mothers stepping forward to say that they couldn’t think of a better gift on mother’s day than a little peace and quiet.
“NTA, as a mom of 3 I can say that this sounds like the perfect Mother’s Day!”- loxpoxmox.
“Heck, a friend just posted a meme on FB.”
“‘On Father’s Day, dads ask for the family to do something fun together’.”
“‘On Mother’s Day, moms as that no one speak to, look at or touch them’.”- Terrie-25.
“And, please, let’s get rid of the ‘but”s when talking about our kids’.”
“I love my kid’s and sometimes they’re jerks!”
“Both can be true!”
“I love my kid’s and I am going to love my mother’s day weekend without them!”
“Also, I don’t really see why we have to preface anything with ‘I love my kid’s’.”
“Unless you say something different, I’m going to just assume that!”
“You have a great time!”
“These other people can celebrate the way they want!”- dreams_child.
“Your husband offered you a lovely and thoughtful gift of two mornings to sleep and care for yourself.”
“There is nothing wrong with needing alone time.”
“In the late 90s and early 2000’s, ‘attachment parenting’ became a thing for a lot of us.”
“There was a phrase used called ‘touched out’, and if you said you were touched out amongst other attachment parenters.”
“It was understood you’d had enough of your child and the constant chatter, holding someone, fixing things, being there all the time.”
“It was okay to say something then, and it’s okay to say something now, just as okay as it is to wake up on Sunday to a quiet home.”
“I hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day, OP!”- TarafyingPanda.
“I am a single mother by choice and I love my son more than anything else in this world.”
“He is my endless source of giggles and charley horses and I love every minute I spend with him.”
“But would I love it if a friend suggested taking him for a day so I could just do…nothing?”
“Oh, hell, yeah! Your husband is fantastic for suggesting it!”
“You enjoy sleeping in and relishing the quiet!”-hazelnuddy.
“Mother’s Day should be about MOM! “
“Sounds like mom wants a break and a little time to herself.”
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”-soaringcomet11.
“It sounds GREAT.”
“Take your husband up, sleep in, relax, and celebrate Mother’s Day with the kids when you’re rested.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad at all.”
“I love my kids too, but they are so demanding when they’re little.”
“It is just really exhausting sometimes.”
“I used to have vivid, erotic-feeling fantasies about time alone in a clean hotel room.”
“I like them so much better as standoffish teens.”
“Have a lovely weekend.”-eaca02124.
“NTA if your family is happy with this plan it’s all that matters.”
“I thought your SO or kids would be the one’s who were going to be upset.”
“Maybe stop telling people about your plans unless they need to know.”-TamWings.
“The luxury of 24 hours free of any demands sounds fantastic.”
“I have always thought it was ridiculous, and sexist, that people have no issue with the idea of Dad’s wanting to be child free on Fathers day to go play golf or watch a game or whatever, but mother’s are expected to want to spend the day with their kids.”-katamino.
“In my house, Mother’s Day and my birthday are two days where no one can require anything of me.”
“No one challenge the queen!”
“And you’re only going to be alone for the morning.”
“Plenty of Mother’s Day celebrating can happen after that.”
“Anyone who is calling you an a**hole probably doesn’t have a husband with the good sense to volunteer to take the kids on an adventure for a couple days and give his wife some alone time.”
“Sounds like the perfect gift to me.”-themintmenagerie.
The OP subsequently returned to thank everyone who took the time to comment, while taking the time to share that as thoughtful as she thought her husband was, he was really only doing the minimum any husband should do.
“Thanks to all for your thoughts and comments.”
“99% say NTA so appreciate the virtual agreement.”
“Wanted to hop back on to say that the amount of people who are saying my husband is so thoughtful for arranging this caught me off guard.”
“Yes, he is awesome but I didn’t think he was some type of unicorn above all other dads/partners.”
“Take this as a hint – Make a point to give your spouse some time to themselves.”
“You will get mega bonus points.”
“Most people relish if not the quiet, just lack of obligations.”
“Plan an outing away from the house for your kids for a whole day – or start with just a few hours.”
“AND important to add, saying ‘I’ll watch the kids, you go out and do something for you’ sounds like a nice gesture, but it isn’t.”
“The burden is still on the evictee to entertain themselves (and really, the remaining parent isn’t really trying).”
“Sometimes we just want quiet in our own space.”
Indeed, sometimes there is simply no better gift than the opportunity to do nothing.
If only for a moment.