For a parent, it can be tough when their own approach with their child collides head on with the priorities another parent takes with theirs.
Both parents must navigate their children’s simpler friendship, walking the fine line between sticking to their own guns and being flexible with others.
Sometimes, though, toeing that line can be a fraught experience.
One Redditor, known as Individual-Inside-23 on the site, learned that the hard way when her daughter attended a recent birthday party. She explained it all in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) used a title that conveyed the specific issue at play.
“AITA for not allowing my daughter to get a makeover at a birthday party?”
First, OP offered some background information.
“This happened last year.”
“Because of actions my parents did when I was a kid I do not allow my daughter, Maisie [5-year-old female], to play with make-up.”
“When I was a kid my parents fu**ed up my self confidence and self worth by convincing me the only way I’d ever find love or success was if I was pretty.”
OP expanded on those traumas.
“At 8 my mom started perming my hair. By 13 I was getting highlights. By 14 she was having my brows waxed. At 16 she convinced me I needed a nose job or the boys would never like me.”
“Around 15 she was reminding me to wear lipstick and something pretty in case any boys saw me.”
“For years I defined my own worth based on whether or not I was pretty. It took years to repair that damage. I swore I’d never do that to my kids.”
Then OP moved on to the present day.
“Maisie’s classmate ‘Anna’ had her 5th birthday party and Maisie was invited.”
“The party was dance-club themed but there were also activity stations set up as well. Build your own cupcake, make your own crayons, make your own clay sculpture, finger painting, etc, and one of the stations was profession party makeup.”
“Anna’s parents had hired three professional stylists to give the girls fun makeover and do things to their hair like temporary color dye and clip-in extensions for curls and such.”
But for OP, this kind of a party presented an issue.
“My Maisie, while enjoying toys and clothes from both sections of the store, is mostly a girly-girl and she’s always been curious about makeup.”
“She sees those kid-friendly sets at the store or is sometimes gifted them by relatives and she wants to play with them but I don’t allow it.”
“When Maisie is a teenager she and I will discuss makeup and how to use it properly and when I believe she’s mature enough to wear it and not let beauty define her I will let her wear it.”
“And, once she’s 18 she can do whatever she wants.”
OP had a quick exchange with her daughter about it all.
“The stylists required parental consent before doing anything so Maisie came and asked me if she could have her makeup done and her hair fixed.”
“I said no and explained why. Maisie took it well and in a moment her favorite song came on and her friends took her away to dance and eventually the matter was forgotten.”
“Maisie enjoyed the party and we went home happy.”
But for OP, it didn’t end there.