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New Mom Called Out For ‘Snooping’ After Catching MIL Lying About Her To Husband On Babycam

Mom watching baby on monitor
Oscar Wong/Getty Images

Baby monitors, nanny cams, security cameras… What do they all have in common?

People like to use them for more than their intended use.

Oftentimes people will keep cameras in their home for practical reasons – checking on the baby, keeping an eye on the nanny, making sure no one breaks in.

However, some people take the cameras a step further and use them to snoop.

That begs the question, when does it become snooping?

Redditor dumblonde7 is asking just that in a recent post on “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

The Original Poster (OP) asked:

“AITA for ‘snooping’ on my baby camera?”

She went on to explain.

“AITA? My MiL [mother-in-law] was helping my husband with our baby. I got a notification on the baby camera in his crib & checked on it.”

“When I opened it, my MiL was talking about me to my husband (he was standing up for me of course).”

“She was lying, to my husband, about a conversation her and I had. I confronted her about what she said and she is mad I was ‘snooping’.”


The OP added a bit more to her story for clarification:

“EDIT: FYI I opened the camera because she told me ‘the baby cries all the time’ so I was checking to see if he was crying. I can tell what is wrong with him based on his cry.”

“She was in the middle of a lie about me when I pressed volume on. I did not linger. I heard the lie and immediately contacted my husband.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA – It wasn’t intentional on your part, but if I happened upon someone talking about me like that…yeah, I’d listen in too.”

“She’s upset she got caught, she doesn’t sound upset about lying…that’s interesting.” – Carrot-Tornado

“NTA. Your MIL is angry she got caught lying about you to her son. She’s on the attack now hoping it will make you look bad, when she’s the one at fault.” – AnneShirley12132

“I don’t understand how anyone could say Y T A”

“Even if you were snooping it’s irrelevant. They had a conversation in front of a camera you had.”

“She’s deflecting saying your ‘snooping’ makes her mad. She’s in the wrong.”

“NTA it couldn’t be anything else.” – MrJeffyJr

“I’m happy to know you are so comfortable talking about me to my husband in my own home. Oh, I’m snooping? In MY home?”

“I’m so grateful that you felt comfortable talking about me behind my back in MY home.”

“‘Sorry’ I watch the security cams I set up for my babe and ‘accidentally’ caught you talking trash behind my back in my home.”

“Sorry, that isn’t snooping. It’s almost as if you knew I’d snoop, for you to say something like that to my face without saying it to my face shows who you are as a person.” – Additional_Ear_6287

“NTA Not only is MIL the AH, but she is dumb for talking on the baby monitor. You have every right to be listening to the baby monitor in YOUR baby’s room!!” – Mother-Baker75

“I say NTA because you didn’t go snooping intentionally. You got a notification and checked it like I think anyone would.” – Altruistic_Action752

“NTA you were just checking on your baby and overheard. That’s not the same as intentionally snooping.”

“Her fault for making up lies next to a camera she knows you have access to??” – Queen_Latifah69

“Did you confront her with immediately or give it time? I think if you confronted her immediately (or after work or whatever) then NTA.”

“If you have it time to see if they would say anything about the conversation then it feels like snooping/sneaky to me so you and mil would both be a**holes.”

“Also why does your husband need help with the baby? Sounds like having MIL is a toxic situation so can’t he parent by himself?” – Capital_League_4453

“You’re NTA. If she expects an apology, I would suggest the following if you’re so inclined:”

“I’m so sorry you are dense enough to lie to my husband about me in my own home, in a room where you know there is a camera and a microphone.”

“Next time choose your room a little more wisely.” – Dittoheadforever

“NTA. I would consider her lying about a conversation that didn’t happen a whole lot worse than you listening in on a conversation. She needs some real consequences.” – Key-Article6622

“So her bad behavior is your fault because you heard it? Did she apologize? Did she admit to lying?”

“You’re ‘snooping’ because you were listening to a private conversation in a room with a one-way walkie talkie in it? Is she dense?”

“High five to a husband who is standing up to his mother in order to defend his wife.”

“NTA” – Snickerdoodle2021

“NTA. You were checking on YOUR child in YOUR home. Anyone who says you’re snooping on YOUR BABY, IN YOUR OWN HOME, has some serious issues.” – alliecat0718

“You checked footage of your own camera in your own house, right? If so you have every right to snoop, MiL can suck eggs. NTA.” – SwyngDeLong

“NTA. Someone who talks bad about you shouldn’t be around your child. Baby might not understand now but will eventually.”

“Your husband should have stopped her and kicked her out.” – lilyofthevalley2659


“This is so funny because I just had this conversation today with my kid. Only I say we need a camera so they can see everything and record.”

“Because my extraordinarily talented grandchild did something really impressive, and my kid missed it.”

“And I am talking about our living space because my grandbaby’s parents live in our home.” – groovymama98

“NTA. You opened the camera because you received a notification. Even if you hadn’t received a notification and you wanted to check on the baby, you’re NTA.”

“It’s your baby and you can open the camera whenever you’d like. She’s just pissed you heard her.” – boxermama21

“NTA. Why is anyone saying otherwise? It’s YOUR house and YOUR baby. You can look at whatever camera you want.”

“She’s just mad you ‘snooped’ bc she’s caught in a lie.” – midwestvoldemort

“NTA- it would be no different if you walked in the room where your BABY is and heard her bullsh*t. You have a right to be aware of ANYTHING surrounding your baby.”

“She’s in the wrong for talking about you in front of the baby anyway. She can go to hell.” – Samuscabrona

“NTA. Snooping is defined as trying to find out about someone’s private affairs. If she felt this conversation was a private affair, she should have done it… privately.”

“In her home when your not there.”

“Her logging into your camera without permission and viewing what it’s recorded is ‘snooping.’”

“You logging into your own camera that you set up and have a password for because you intended to view it, is known as ‘monitoring your home.’”

“Hand her a dictionary, tell her to look up ‘snooping,’ ‘lying,’ and ‘unwelcome.’ Then ask her what those three words have in common in relation to this single event.” – TangledUpPuppeteer

“NTA this brings me back to the MIL who put her grandson on HER nipple to get him to stop crying. Got caught on the baby cam and immediately lost babysitting privileges.”

“It’s your right to check on your child, that’s what the baby cam is for.” – Playful_Card_6471


“‘You were lying and were caught because of an accident of technology. Now I know that you will not only lie about me, but you will blame me for your own dishonesty.’”

“‘I am not interested in seeing you again, you are manipulative, dishonest and out to get me.’” – WantToBelieveInMagic

“Soooo… your husband was with your baby… and his mom WAS ALSO THERE… you’re looking in looks like being present and involved in co-parenting with your husband.”

“She’s ALSO THERE is besides the point of you looking in. She shouldn’t be in your home saying things that aren’t true about you to your husband.”

“Yeah, she popped him out, raised him up… and now he’s married to you & father of your baby. Why wouldn’t he defend you, take your side?”

“She’s just upset he saw thru her OR blindly stands up for his wife because that’s his job as a husband.”

“NTA- your house, your prerogative to look in on your baby and husband anytime you want. Watch him sleep, then go back to your work happy he’s safe & sound!” – Somythinkingis

“NTA. You didn’t check on the camera with the intentions to ‘snoop’ on your MIL. You were merely checking the baby camera to check on your child and then you heard what your MIL said.”

“She’s just trying to deflect, she’s mad she got caught. You didn’t do anything wrong.” – Im_not_creepy3

“NTA, this is your house, and there should be no expectation of privacy on her part. Of course there’s a baby camera, and you can check it whenever you need to, that’s what it’s there for.”

“Why the f*ck would she be sh*t talking you in your home?” – here4itbss

When there are boundaries, they’re bound to be crossed.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)