It is important for parents to teach their children discipline.
Which often begins by giving them simple household chores, such as picking up after themselves and cleaning their rooms.
This teaches children as they grow older, they will not be waited on hand and foot by others and will have their own responsibilities to deal with.
However, as with any lesson, if this isn’t taught properly, they likely won’t learn their lesson properly.
Redditor clothesindrawers made sure that all their children folded and put away their own laundry.
And if she discovered they didn’t, the original poster (OP) had a unique way of letting her frustrations be known.
A method the OP’s daughter did not appreciate in the slightest.
Having doubts about her behavior, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for throwing my kid’s clothes onto the floor when they don’t fold their clothes neatly?”
The OP explained how her reaction to her daughter’s poor laundry storage were met with rather surprising results.
“So I’ve always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive.”
“I always expect their rooms to be clean, and I check their drawers/closets/storage bins to make sure they don’t just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean.”
“The kids (16, 13, 9, and 6) are all responsible for putting away their laundry, and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes.”
“Which bothers me because my 13-year-old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me, he rolls them up instead of properly folding them.”
“Ever since the kids have been home and have more free time, I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes.”
“I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers.”
“I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago, that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized, she would make a mess for them to organize the right way.”
“I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us.”
“I haven’t had to do this until yesterday, I walked into my 16-year-old’s room while she was Face-timing her boyfriend, saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded, and out of curiosity, opened her drawers, and saw she has shoved her clothes in there.”
“I started making a mess, and she screamed ‘Mom why?’ and I told her she knew why.”
“After that I walked out of her room, she explained to her boyfriend what I did, and he says ‘your mom’s f*cking crazy bruh’ and I peek my head into her room, give her a look, and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying.”
I told my husband what happened, he told me “I knew said you were gonna do that, but I didn’t know you would actually follow through.”
“This morning I woke up to a note on my daughter’s door saying ‘until mom can get mental help, I’m staying with Aunt (my sister’s name)’ I texted her, no response.”
“I tried contacting my sister, who said she has no plans to return until I ‘get mental help and stop being such a controlling b*tch.'”
“My husband, sister, and mom are all against me in this which hurts.”
“I don’t think it harmed my daughter, it benefits her and helps her stay organized.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who unanimously agreed that the OP was the a**hole for the way she behaved towards her daughter.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s behavior was completely uncalled for, with some finding it borderline abusive, and many questioned if this was the only thing that led her daughter to temporarily move out.
“Take a look at yourself bc I doubt this is the only thing that made her leave.”
“You most likely have a pattern of being controlling, and This was just the last straw.”
“The way you decided to act was more akin to a child than an adult.”
“You made a mess bc you didn’t get your way.”
“That’s moronic.”- madman636
“Ya I’d say YTA.”
“To start, she’s almost an adult.”
“Sure she should fold her clothes, but if she wants to walk around with wrinkly clothes that’s her choice to make.”
“Second, do you really not see how embarrassing that is?”
“I’m sure if your mom pulled that same sh*t in front of your friends or boyfriend at that age you’d be pissed.”
“Honestly, if my mom was this crazy I probably wouldn’t talk to her anymore.”
“All you can really do is apologize and try going to therapy to work on whatever makes you think it’s ok to embarrass your kids like that.”- Jaycro123
“There is no problem with rolling your clothes.”
“It leaves fewer creases and saves space.”
“The fact it bothers you is a warning sign.”
“They had been put away, just not in the way you desire.’
“Your daughter will learn out of necessity one day, probably when she is out on her own.”
“But really, the only downside to shoving them in is wrinkling when you want to wear them, which is remedied with an iron, or just not going outside at all due to covid.”
“Why does she need unwrinkled clothing right now anyway?”
“I would be very interested in hearing how that mommy blogger’s relationship with her children is.”
“Most likely, it’s in the toilet because of boundary crossings like this.”
“A bad role model to learn from.”
“Your obsessive need to have everything neat even if you don’t see it is a red flag.”
“You should see a therapist to see why you need such control over your children’s lives or to possibly diagnose something such as OCD.”- Jendi2016
“My mom used to do this, and now we have minimum contact.”
“Seek mental help before you alienate your kids entirely because there’s a difference between expecting a clean space and being an unreasonable control freak.”- bshoe1992
“You know who acts like this?”
“Marine Corps Drill Instructors.”
“To mentally f*ck with recruits.”
“This is not okay within the family unit.”
“It’s insane that you think it’s okay to control how your kids fold their clothes in their drawers.”- kalkiki
“You shouldn’t even be in your older two children’s rooms much, let alone going through their drawers.”
“Plus just because they do it differently than you doesn’t make the way they put away clothes incorrect.”
“What you did was take objectively clean clothes and put them on a dirty floor.”
“Your oldest girl was right to go to the aunt for a cooling-off period with you.”
“She’s in safe hands.”
“You have to give your teens some level of independence now for them to be functional adults later.”
“Or for them to want any relationship with you.”
“Kids that are micromanaged, from what I’ve seen, really go a bit too wild in college and that not.”
“So if you’re trying to make everything backfire later, by all means, continue being controlling to this unreasonable degree.”- DontRunReds
“What kind of controlling parent are you?”
“Checking their drawers to make sure they didn’t just shove it in there to make it look neat.”
“Why do you care?”
“Also your solution: ‘Hmm my kid didn’t fold their laundry, and I HATE messes so let me dump everything out and make a mess’.”
“How is that supposed to achieve your goal?”- ahaha2222
“Your daughter’s bf is right.”
“Get some therapy to figure out why it’s so important for you to control unimportant minutiae before it further damages your relationship with your family.”- AppellofmyEye
“YTA for sure.”
“It’s their space, and tbh I don’t see how their drawers being organized bothers you at all.”
“So what if they just shove clothes in there?”
“It’s their loss for being unorganized, but just let it go.”
“I can sort of understand wanting a clean room but really?”
“Going into their space and making a mess?”
“Especially while she is on the phone with her BOYFRIEND.”
“How embarrassing.”- Ijustwantedguacamole
“YTA and you’re not helping her, you’re randomly terrorizing her.”
“She’s 16, and she can decide for herself the amount of organization going on within her drawers.”
“Jeesh, children aren’t little machines, get over having to have them do everything in the OCD manner you’re demanding.”-made_you_think
Teaching your children to stop being messy by making a mess is a very interesting parenting style indeed.
Based on the reaction of her daughter, clearly not an effective one.
One only hopes that her daughter’s decision to temporarily move out of the house will be enough for the OP to reflect on her behavior, and look for more effective methods of discipline moving forward.