Large people have issues traveling.
Too many times, other travelers and travel workers are more rude than sensitive.
This is a HUGE problem with airlines.
A long way back, airlines began demanding that people who were considered overweight buy two plane tickets for comfort and space.
That’s a lot of money to throw down for one trip.
And when someone does, they want their extra seat.
Case in point…
A deleted Redditor wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to give up me extra seat for someone else’s toddler on a flight that I paid for because I’m fat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I 34 F[emale] am obese.”
“I’m actively working toward losing weight, and I’ve made progress, but I’m still obese as I’m typing this.”
“I’m going over to see my brother and his husband for Christmas across the country, and because I’m fat, I booked an extra seat so everyone can be more comfortable.”
“I know it sucks having to pay for an extra seat, but it is what it is.”
“I know Southwest Airlines has this ‘customer of size’ policy, but I’ve had some bad experiences with Southwest even before I was obese.”
“So I wasn’t doing that, and it’s mostly my fault I even got fat.”
“Everything went smoothly from checking in to security and boarding, at least at first.”
“Then this woman comes to my row with a boy who appeared to be about a year old.”
“She told me to squeeze into one seat so her son could sit in the other.”
“She told me, not asked. “
“I told her no and that I paid for this seat for the extra space.”
“She makes a big fuss over it, which got the flight attendant’s attention.”
“She told the flight attendant I was stealing the seat from her son.”
“Then I showed my boarding passes, proving that I, in fact, paid for the extra seat.”
“The flight attendant asked me if I could try to squeeze in, but I said no, that I wanted the extra seat I paid for.”
“The boy, who the mom said is 18 months old, was supposed to sit in her lap so he could do just that.”
“The flight attendant eventually told the mom to put her son in her lap.”
“I got dirty looks and passive-aggressive remarks from her for the entire flight, and I do feel a little bad because the boy looked hard to control.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“She’s TA for not buying a seat for her son and assuming someone else would give up a seat they paid for.”
“Odds are she was hoping there’d be extra seats on the flight so she didn’t have to pay and used the lap thing as a loophole.”
“Classic case of ‘you snooze, you lose.'”
“Also sorry! NTA for clarity!” ~ the-lurky-turkey
“In my opinion, OP should reach out to the airline and lodge a complaint about that flight attendant putting OP into an embarrassing situation when she went out of her way to purchase the extra seat for her own comfort and for the comfort of those around her.”
“That flight attendant should have shown empathy to OP by backing her up 100%.” ~ StefneLynn
“Exactly what she should have said is ‘Sorry, ma’am, these seats are already paid for and being used by the paying customer, who they were intended for.'”
“‘If you did not pay for an extra seat for your child, then you will have to hold him as you stated you would when purchasing your own ticket.'”
“Not ask OP to try to squeeze into one seat so she could give her paid seat to someone else. That’s CRAP. NTA.” ~ Frequent_Couple5498
“There are many reasons someone can be overweight.”
“It should not matter about trying to lose weight or not.”
“It is no one’s business.”
“Yet many times you see someone trying to explain that.”
“I am also sickened that someone who paid for a seat, whether their own seat or an extra seat, is just expected to let some entitled person have it for their child?”
“That they didn’t even pay for?!”
“Then I question the flight attendant.”
“How can she even ask someone to let them use it after they show her it was paid for? Unbelievable.”
“TA is the parent and the flight attendant since she made the entitled parent think she had rights because someone in charge backed them up, rather than OP, who was well within her rights to the seat.” ~ Ok-Cap592
“Whether OP was unwilling or unable, I don’t think it’s that unreasonable for the flight attendant to ask the question one time after OP showed the boarding passes for the pair of seats; OP’s answer would be the definitive answer that the flight attendant would then give to the mother regarding that seat.”
“Also, unless OP was taking up the window and middle seats, with the aisle being taken by either the mother or father of the toddler, or they were sharing a 4-seat middle section, then it seems really weird for the mother to be essentially foisting her child off on a random stranger for the flight, and that bit should have been shut down instantly.”
“I’m a bit surprised that the mother and child were left so close to OP for the flight that she could hear the passive-aggressive remarks and that they didn’t relocate one of the parties somewhere else on the plane to avoid the issue flaring up again during the flight.” ~ Inocain
“I actually think it’s bad customer service for the Airline to have the flight attendant ask someone to give up an extra seat they clearly intentionally purchased without offering a refund.”
“If the flight attendant felt bad for the Mom and wanted to, on behalf of the airline, ask another customer to give up something they have already paid the airline extra for, the airline should be pairing that request with at minimum a full refund.”
“What other business would sell you something and then ask you if you wouldn’t mind giving it to another customer instead without a refund?” ~ ItchyDoggg
“I’m guessing OP is American, where most places still feel they have to make the complaining person happy, even if someone else is affected.”
“Entitled, ridiculous people doing stuff like assaulting flight crew or screaming and raging till they get thrown off the flight have become more common these past few years.”
“I don’t really blame them if they ask one time, so they can be like, she has both boarding passes, she said no, deal with it.”
“Though I think if you’re going to ask someone to give up a paid extra seat in the first place, it should immediately come with an offer of a refund plus some sort of extra perks – then at least there’s a reason to do so other than ‘this a**hole is trying to bully me into it’).”
“That should be it.”
“I get pissed when I hear about people feeling entitled to a seat you paid extra for or your second seat because they have kids or they want to sit with their family or whatever.”
“You had the chance to make sure you were going to sit next to your wife when you booked the f**king flights!”
“They just don’t want to pay, so they try to guilt and bully people into moving into the shi**y middle seat they got assigned.”
“Like… no one LIKES to pay extra to get a window seat, or to have extra leg room, or anything else airlines decide to charge for.”
“We’d all fly in those fancy suites with a bed and shower and whatnot if it didn’t cost thousands of dollars.”
“Unfortunately, that’s how things are now. Don’t rely on strangers buying into a guilt trip or a screaming rant and giving you what you want 🤷.” ~ Moravandra
“NTA, and I hope it doesn’t sound condescending to say, but good for you to buy the extra seat.”
“You being the sort of conscientious person who will spend the extra money to avoid encroaching on others is probably why you are having (needless) self-doubt about the encounter.”
“The mom was entitled and fully in the wrong, and if the flight attendant gave you attitude, then they are in the wrong, too.” ~ uhhh206
“NTA, that’s just crap.”
“I’ve taken 9-hour flights with an infant in my arms and shorter flights with a toddler in my lap, who was capable of sitting in his own seat and very much did not want me to hold him.”
“Did it suck? Yes.”
“But it was my problem alone, and as long as my child was under 24 months and I didn’t have to pay for his seat, I chose to hold him.”
“I swear, not all of us parents are this entitled!” ~ paprikastew
“I’m a parent and have only been doing this for about 2.5 years.”
“But this parenting thing requires planning at least 5-10 steps ahead.”
“This is especially more so with toddlers and babies. It’s supremely entitled to expect someone to give up their seat for your child when you didn’t bother to think about how to make travel arrangements easier for your child and yourself.”
“OP is completely NTA.”
“This parent’s lack of planning is not an emergency on OP’s part.” ~ Tsukaretamama
“NTA. You paid for that seat, it’s yours.”
“An email to the airline asking them to remind their flight attendants to enforce the seat policy would be warranted, too.”
“You asked the flight attendants for help, and she told you to ‘squeeze into one seat’ for the unticketed child.”
“You might even get some miles or goodies for it.” ~ welkikitty
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You paid for an extra seat.
Unless you were getting a refund, then the seat is yours.
Sorry you had to have such an experience.
Safe travels.