Straits Research estimated the global cosmetic market reached $311.23 billion in 2024. Part of that profit is the popularity of makeup, but it’s also the cost of some products.
For example, a single, individual compact of a high end foundation can cost $200.
With the cost for quality makeup being high, it’s no wonder a person might be protective of their investment.
An adult child turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after a makeup mishap with their mother.
S0yongdori asked:
“AITA for refusing to let my mom use my makeup products?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (19) did my mom’s (56) makeup yesterday for fun. She ended up really liking how I was able to cover up her dark spots and asked me what I used. I told her it was a color corrector that I bought in Korea.”
“She then asked me to explain it to her, because she ‘wanted to use it from now on too’. I went through and explained how each color is meant to ‘correct’ another (basically just told her I used the peachy color to correct her dark spots).”
“She then says ‘I’m going to use it tomorrow before I leave for church in the morning’. I tell her ‘PLEASE wake me up and have ME put it on you’.”
“I was extremely nervous about this because she has a history of using my makeup without asking me and 99% of the time she uses products incorrectly and damages them. So, I told her I’d rather she not use mine at all but if she insisted, to have me there to make sure she doesn’t f*ck up my products that I paid for.”
“As I’m going to bed, I consider hiding my color corrector before sleeping so that no matter what she won’t use it without my supervision. However, I decide to trust her and go to bed.”
“The morning rolls around and I wake up to see her already rummaging through my products in my room. I say ‘Did you already use my color corrector?’ and she says ‘yeah!’.”
“I bolt up and look at it and am horrified to find that she’s done everything I was scared she’d do. She didn’t know how much of the product to use, so she overshot and now there are two humongous craters in the product.”
“She also MIXED the two colors that are in the product. The green is supposed to counteract redness and the peach is supposed to counteract dark spots—she mixed both together so now the entire product is just this ugly, muddy mess.”
“I asked her why she used it when I explicitly told her 100 times to make sure I was awake and supervising her, and she told me that she tried to wake me up and I didn’t respond, so she just went ahead and used it.”
“I said, ‘if I didn’t respond, then you should have PUT IT DOWN! How am I supposed to use this now‽‽’ And she told me I was overreacting and to hurry up and give her more of my products before she left.”
“I told her to get out of my room and kicked her out. She yelled at me, saying that I was overreacting over nothing and slammed my door on her way out.”
“I spent the morning crying in frustration. It’s not like she was asleep while I did her makeup with the color corrector, SHE SAW ME USE IT AND LITERALLY HAD ME EXPLAIN IT.”
“Never once did I even touch the green colored corrector, so why did she go and mix them‽‽ Not to mention, can’t she see the product clearly has the color separated into their own sections?”
“You can SEE from the fact there is no mixing that I’ve used this product intentionally not mixing the colors…SO WHY WOULD SHE THINK THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MIX THEM‽‽”
“AITA and reacting over nothing?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“Got mad at my mom for using my makeup without permission and kicked her out of my room. I could be the a**hole because it’s just makeup, she didn’t do it with malicious intent, and she technically did try to wake me up.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. She needs to pay you back the cost of everything she ruined (because it sounds like she wouldn’t know what to buy to replace it) and unfortunately you’re going to have to keep all of your makeup in a bag that stays in your room or somewhere she can’t find it.”
“It might help to go to the beauty store together and have an employee there explain and demo color correctors for her, and she can buy one for herself with her own money if she likes it. Maybe hearing the proper way to use a product like that from another adult that isn’t her daughter would stick a bit better?”
“Either way, she isn’t entitled to your belongings that you bought and paid for, and she needs to learn that.” ~ ScatterbrainedGenius
“NTA, your mother deliberately broke her word to you and used your stuff, which she had no right to. She basically stole from you, and on top of that she ruined the product and is now responsible for making you whole, i.e. replacing your cosmetics.”
“These are basic lessons that young children are able to understand.”
“If you live with her: buy a lock box and keep your products in there so she doesn’t bust into them in the future; there are even makeup-specific boxes with key locks. And also try to move out as soon as you can.”
“If you’re just visiting, keep a luggage lock and keep your stuff locked up.”
“Either way, when she inevitably gets mad because you locked her out of your stuff, remind her that this is the consequence of her actions. You can’t treat her like a trusted adult if she insists on acting like a greedy child.” ~ oliviamrow
“As a mom, I would never consider using my daughter’s stuff. I have mine, she has hers.”
“It’s one of the first rules of makeup hygiene—you do NOT SHARE PRODUCTS. I’ve drilled that into my own daughter’s head. That way lies possible cross-infections!”
“I’m sorry this happened to you OP. It’s especially hard because as the daughter you have far less power than your mother. So it is super difficult.”
“My advice is, if the products are ruined, just give them to your mother, and tell her ‘they are yours now, I can’t use them’. Ignore any yelling from her, or attempts to diminish your feelings in this regard.”
“Just stay as calm as you can. Ask her politely to help cover the cost of replacement. Maybe not 100%, but at least 50%. She’s basically bought them. She might yell some. Ignore and stay calm and ask again.”
“If she doesn’t help, well, there honestly is likely not much you can do, except from this point forward, get a lockbox and don’t share with your mom. Consider it a very hard and bitter lesson learned.”
“Sorry you had to go through this OP. NTA.” ~ busyshrew
“Two things. Never believe your mother again and always lock up your make up. NTA. Tell her she ruined them and make her reimburse you the full cost.” ~ Liu1845
“As a mom who is clueless about makeup and has an adult daughter who helps me do makeup sometimes, you’re NTA.”
“Your mom is a huge one, however.”
“Over the years, my daughter has helped me out and used her product on me. Never in a million years would I go into her room and take/use her product.”
“She’d also not have to even think of reminding me not to steal/use her stuff, so your mom has already previously been the a**hole.”
“And even though I’m pretty clueless, yes, it is obvious not to mix colors like that (and not to gouge them either).”
“She’s either really dumb or deliberately messing with your makeup to have made that much of a mess. We know for sure she’s very self-involved as well.” ~ Lonely_Midnight781
“I’m a male and don’t exactly use makeup, but this reason right here—people not caring for yours like it’s their own, not respecting what you asked of them—is exactly why I try my hardest not to lend stuff out.”
“Because it’s very seldom do you find someone who actually treats your stuff the way you treat it and then when you get mad about it, they try to make you out to be the A-Hole.” ~ SnowBoarda
“I cringe on your behalf about the mixing colours in the palette and incorrect use. I, too, would be pissed if anyone handled my very expensive makeup that way. I’m fussy over brands.”
“Your mum crossed a boundary that you are allowed to have. So for not letting your mum use your makeup, NTA.”
“You probably need a clear the air chat as acting out of anger wasn’t great either. When doing that, remind your mum it isn’t recommended to share makeup for hygiene reasons.” ~ dragonetta123
The OP’s mother may eventually see their perspective and offer to replace the ruined product. But if they don’t, is this a hill the OP wants to die on?
They may be forced to make that decision if mom doesn’t come around.