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Redditor Asks Mother-In-Law To Leave Their Wedding After Having Allergic Reaction To Her Perfume

Stock photo via Getty images

Everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect.

Though, despite the best efforts of everyone involved, the chances of every element of a wedding going exactly to plan are slim to none.

In most cases, nothing can ruin what will go down as the happiest day of the newlywed couple’s lives.

Sometimes, however, something could go so horrifically wrong that it simply won’t be possible for the bride and/or groom to enjoy their wedding, no matter how hard they try.

Such was sadly the case for Redditor Senior_Koala9479, who began to develop a rather severe allergic reaction during his wedding.

Making things particularly awkward was that the source of the original poster (OP)’s allergic reaction was his mother-in-law.

The OP felt there was only one solution to this problem, but both his bride and mother-in-law adamantly turned down this proposal, pulling a cloud over the remainder of the wedding.

Wondering if he was being insensitive, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave our wedding because her perfume was bothering me?”

The OP explained how his mother-in-law’s attendance led to a severe allergic reaction, dampening his enjoyment of the remainder of his wedding.

“I just got married to the love of my life.”

“I’ve usually gotten on pretty well with my new in-laws.”

“Usually, my mother-in-law doesn’t wear perfume, or at least not any that I’ve been able to notice.”

“My wife had her mother be her matron of honor so she was standing with us upfront.”

“It was a small area and with her right next to my wife, I was able to smell her perfume.”

“Shortly after the ceremony started I started to get watery eyes and sniffles.”

“Our ceremony was supposed to only last 20 minutes max so I thought I would just push through unless it got worse.”

“It didn’t get worse until after the ceremony when my new mother-in-law hugged me.”

“Itchy eyes, itchy throat, and the headache got added to the mix.”

“My wife asked if I was alright and I told her I think her mother’s perfume was getting to me.”

“We had someone go get some allergy medication.”

“I took one but it didn’t do a whole lot and I started to feel out of it.”

“Get to the reception and we started to do our photos, and I couldn’t do group photos with my mother-in-law in them.”

“I told my wife we needed to figure something out because my symptoms weren’t letting up and I didn’t want to be out of it from taking more meds for our reception or have to leave our own reception.”

“My wife asked her mom to keep some distance between us to try and make it easier for me.”

“It didn’t really.”

“That perfume followed her like a damn cloud.”

“Then my wife asked her mom to try and wash wherever she dabbed her perfume but mother-in-law said she hadn’t dabbed it on, she spritzed herself so it was on her dress too.”

“At that point, they said they were out of ideas and there wasn’t anything we could do.”

“I said there was one more thing and suggested that maybe mother-in-law leave to change her dress and then come back or even just go to a nearby thrift store or something and get any kind of clothes, I’d even pay for them.”

“I asked my mother-in-law to either please do that or to leave and we’d visit later with the cake because it was getting to the point that I would have to leave.”

“My wife and mother-in-law objected to this because my wife wanted her mom there the whole time.”

“I understand the day was big for my wife and she wanted her mother there and I wanted her there too, but I wasn’t able to enjoy my own wedding.”

“I wound up sitting outside with some of my family and groomsmen.”

“I started to feel better and when I did, my wife came out and asked if I’d be going back inside then.”

“I told her no so long as her mom was still there and hadn’t changed.”

“Yes my wife is aware of this, I had a similar reaction to a perfume she bought before.”

“This was only the third time I’ve had a reaction that bad to perfumes.”

“The night ended with my wife spending our wedding night at her parents’ house. AITA for asking my mother-in-law to leave?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for asking his mother-in-law to either change their dress or leave the ceremony.

Everyone agreed that both the OP’s wife and mother-in-law were being extremely insensitive to his allergies, and agreed that the OP deserved to enjoy his own wedding without suffering from allergies.


“I understand your wife wanting her mother to be present at the wedding, but it’s your wedding too.”

“Not only that, but the perfume was giving you an allergic reaction.”

“Watery eyes, itchy throat, headache, sound bad enough, but prolonged exposure to an allergen can make those even worse.”

“I know someone whose throat closes up and can’t breathe when they’re too close to certain perfume and scents.”

“You tried to compromise and even offered to pay for new clothes for your MIL to change into so that she could enjoy the reception.”

“None of their ideas worked, so what were you supposed to do?”

“Suffer through it and potentially get even sicker, or miss out on your own wedding reception?”

“Which it sounds like you did since you had to sit outside, away from your own wife, on your wedding day.”- FoxBun_17


“Your wife and her mother refused to make reasonable accommodation for your allergy.”

“This does not bode well for your married life.”-RighteousVengeance


“I can’t believe your mother-in-law and your new wife would be so selfish.”

“You struggling to breathe and simply be at your wedding is wildly messed up when MIL had the opportunity to just buy a new outfit or come back later.”- tfydb

“This was awful, everyone should have stepped up.”

“MIL asking a niece or dear friend to dash out and pick up something for her, SIL apologizing profusely for his dripping nose while popping allergy meds, and wife/daughter loving everyone and telling them this is going to be a wonderfully funny story to tell on your 50th-anniversary party while she poses with her mother in a tracksuit and her husband clutching a hanky.”

“This could have ended in laughter instead of tears.”

“However, this could be a time to reflect, talk with a trusted counselor and figure out how you and your wife could do better moving forward.”

“Bonus points if your MIL steps up to the plate and apologizes/forgives/forgets as well.”

“FYI my husband is sensitive to perfumes.”

“It has become a source of laughter between us.”

“I have scents for when I am with him, and others I enjoy when I am out with my besties.”-Emergency_Web_8722


“You tried to compromise in every polite way possible, even offered to buy her a new dress not covered in the perfume.”

“You didn’t just straight tell her to leave as soon as it got to you.”

“While I do understand your wife’s POV and wanting her mother there, she was extremely inconsiderate of you, her now husband.”

“I do not think you did anything wrong here.”-skyelyy

“I completely empathize with you.”

“I developed an allergy to many perfumes that give me a migraine-like headache or give me great sinus pain.”

“I have to hold my breath if I walk near an Abercrombie and Stench.”

“You did all you could to compromise with MIL.”

“It was your special day, not just your wife’s.”

“You need to have a calm conversation with her about this allergy and set boundaries with your MIL.”

“I remember my late MIL would wear a triggering perfume just as we were about to go out.”

“It was frustrating as hell to deal with her manipulative behavior.”

“NTA.”- Ok_Nobody4967

“I have occasionally had reactions like this to perfumes.”

“One time I started a new job and was sitting next to a co-worker so they could train me.”

“Their perfume was nice smelling but I was rapidly descending into allergy hell.”

“I told them I was sorry for making a fuss, but I am allergic to their perfume.”

“She was mortified and washed off as much as she could.”

“I took some allergy meds and we bumped along for the rest of the day.”

“Never had a problem with her perfume again, so I assume she retired it for work at least.”

“So a co-worker had more consideration for me than your bride or MIL did for you.”

“NTA.”- debbieae

No one should have to spend their wedding in physical discomfort.

Something the OP’s wife and mother-in-law should have acknowledged and been more helpful in finding a solution.

Hopefully, the OP’s wedding won’t be a sign of how things are going to work in his marriage.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.