No two people share the same sleeping habits.
No matter how they might try to sleep in, there are those who wake up naturally early, often up and at’em as early as 7, even 6AM.
But then there are heavier sleepers, who require considerable effort to be up early in the morning, who might sleep well into the afternoon if they aren’t woken up by an alarm.
But trying to forcibly change the sleeping habits of others can be a possibly dangerous situation.
A situation Redditor dezzmuchado sadly found themselves in, resulting in their need to take semi-drastic measures.
But having second thoughts about how they handled the situation, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for locking my door at night?”
The OP first shared how they had a morning routine which they felt was working out, until their mother infiltrated it.
“Okay I’m 18 and in high school.”
“School starts at 7:15 and I live 5 mins away.”
“I wake up around 6 which gives me good time to leave around 7:05.”
“Or at least I intend to wake up at 6.”
“But my mom, every morning without fail wakes me up at 4:30am.”
“She comes in and she’s like tapping me, flickering my lights, sometimes she lets our super hyper puppy in my room to wake me up.”
“It’s so annoying every time I just cry.”
“I can barely wake up at 6, 4 is way too early.”
“I’ve asked her multiple times to stop and that there’s no need for me to be up that early, but she says that she’s conditioning me to be an early bird like her and that adults wake up that early.”
“I told her that’s not true and I don’t want to be an early bird.”
But after fearing that she was pleading to deaf ears, the OP took matters into her own hands, which her mother did not appreciate.
“Since she didn’t stop, and the days are getting unbearable to get through, last night I locked my door.”
“I slept until 6 and felt great.”
“When I woke up, mom was pissed.”
“She told me that it’s disrespectful to cut off communication with someone for that long and if I do it again she’s taking my door away.”
“She’s probably bluffing about that but she’s still pissed.”
“AITA?”
In a follow up post, the OP revealed that their parents are divorced, but has hesitated telling their father about this owing to their rather acrimonious relationship.
“I see my dad whenever I can and I could tell him about this but I’ve been refraining because they really do not like each other.”
“Complaining to one about the other causes so much drama and the drama is never about what I was complaining about, they just use it as an excuse to argue with each other lol.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community sympathized with the OP, unanimously deciding that she was not at all the a**hole by locking her mother out in the mornings.
Several Redditors were highly concerned by the behavior of the OP’s mother, with some believing it to be abuse, and others pointing out that the OP is legally an adult, and has the right to say no.
“NTA.”
“Your moms behavior is seriously unnatural.”
“Also circadian rhythms are pretty hardwired – you can’t turn someone into an early bird.”- MsB0x.
“NTA this is strange behavior.”
“I happen to consider myself an early bird but 4:30 everyday is EARLY and expecting other people to snap to that schedule is unrealistic.”
“Also at 18 you’re an adult and that should come with some expectation of privacy – including a lock on your door.”
“Last word is calling what you did cutting off communication’ is a wild stretch.”
“You closed your door and went to bed like a normal person.”- TahiniInMyVeins.
“NTA.”
“You cannot condition someone into being an early bird.”
“They either are or are not.”
“At your age, it is super important to get enough sleep so your body and brain can continue to develop.”
“Do you have another parent you can involve in this?”- False-Explanation702.
“NTA.”
“I can’t fathom how she can be mentally intact and think this is a reasonable schedule.”
“And no, normal people don’t wake at 4:30.”
“People wake at a time that is suitable for their education or career.”
“Which for the most part is between 6-9am.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever started that early for school, even with extracurricular stuff.”-TrustedTriangle.
“NTA.”
“What your mother is doing is abusive.”
“If you don’t have a problem getting up and getting to school on time, there’s absolutely no need for her bizarrely controlling behavior.”
“Wtf.”
“Parents these days….”-Johoski.
“NTA – Your Mom is crazy, sleep deprivation is literal torture.”
“Also I remember someone on a similar post in the past said that child services will not be happy with parents that take doors away as punishments because closed bedroom doors can save lives in the event of a fire if one breaks out overnight by buying you time to escape out a window.”
“Not 100% if child services everywhere does care about bedroom doors, but it sounds really good in an argument regardless.”
“So if she threatens to take your door again tell her that if she does that she’ll get a visit from some angry officials who’ll give her a lecture and make her put the door back so she doesn’t kill her child in a fire.”-EatsFacesForBrunch.
“NTA.”
“Your mother sounds crazy and obviously has no boundaries.”
“I’m passive aggressive big time so I would play back.”
“A few days of waking her at 2am might get the point across, or if she goes to bed early then wake her because apparently it’s ok to force people onto your own schedule.”
“In all honesty though I moved out at 16 so I never put up with that sort of behavior.”- skittlzz_23.
“NTA, but your mom sure is.”
“I’m a Certified Adult and deeply a night owl – I couldn’t wake up at 6 to save my life, much less 4:30.”
“I have been since I was a teen.”
“Circadian rhythm is innate and how much you can change it varies from person to person.”
“You know what’s not effective?”
“Making someone constantly sleep deprived.”
“Chronic sleep deprivation sets people up for sleep disorders, including circadian rhythm disorder, which is when your body doesn’t think there are 24 hours in a day.”
“That’s one you really don’t want – it’s very, very hard to maintain employment when your body insists there are (for example) 26 hours in the day and wakes up 2 hours later each day.”
“Sleep deprivation is bad for your health generally – higher odds of high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, dementia, Alzheimer’s, and a shorter lifespan.”
“Most adults do not get up at 4:30am, your mom is screwing with your sleep without good reason.”
“Most adults I know wake up between 5:30 and 7, depending on how close to their workplace they live and how long they take to get ready.”- KaliTheBlaze.
“NTA, your Mom is unbelievably rude.”
“Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep.”
“You wake up with plenty of time to get ready and walk to school.”
“Some people ARE BIOLOGICALLY more able yo function well in the morning.”
“Some people do best being awake and arrive late morning afternoons, and some folks do better at night.”
“All she’s doing by waking you up at 4:30 is teaching you to resent her.”
“She’s still your mom and she can ground you if you live with her, so keep that in mind.”
“She’s still in a position of power.”
“If she’s SO DETERMINED to force this on you, ask her to work with you on making it gradual.”
“A week of waking up at 6, the next week 5:55, and just rolling it back five minutes at a time so its not so harsh on your body.”
“If she goes for that you’ll get a lot more sleep and it should buy you time until you can move 272937389 miles away from her obnoxious behavior.”- nev_longbottom
Others stressed the importance of getting enough sleep, which it seemed like the OP wasn’t getting if their mother was waking them up so early.
“NTA.”
“Getting a solid 8 hours of sleep is incredibly important to your health, especially at your age.”-thatbikerchick51.
“NTA.”
“I’m a very successful adult and get up at 8am.”
“Keep locking your door.”
“You need a solid 8 hours.”-SimplySam4210.
“NTA.”
“Teens naturally wake later, and you getting enough sleep is far more important.”
“Starting school at 7:15 is too early as well, so while we are judging, whoever had that idea is a total AH.”- daididge
Touched by all the responses from fellow Redditors, the OP subsequently thanked everyone who offered feedback, saying they might indeed follow through with some suggestions offered, but hinting that other suggestions might not work out in their favor.
“Omg this got a lot of attention!”
“1. Thank you for the support..some of you told me to tell my dad so I will mention that to him when I can.”
“2. Those of you telling me to wake her up at 2am … she would definitely take away my door then lmao”
All every parent wants is for their child to be successful in life.
But depriving your child of sleep, and potentially causing sleeping habits which are dangerous to their health, will most likely hinder their chances of success than help it.
Here’s hoping the OP’s mother can understand this, and that she and the OP will be able to mend their relationship.