Most people have heard of the term kosher, but fewer are familiar with the term halal.
While the first refers to Jewish dietary laws, the second refers to similar laws in the Muslim faith. Not all members of either faith observe these restrictions, while others strictly adhere to them.
For those who choose to follow these guidelines, it involves knowing your food sources and avoiding certain products entirely.
But what if your significant other isn’t from the same faith? And what if they don’t respect your choices?
A 20-year-old man was dealing with this issue with his boyfriend, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor ileriatis asked:
“AITA for getting upset at my boyfriend for putting things i dont like in my breakfast?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I go to a culinary arts university in America and stay with my boyfriend J(21 male). He is American and an atheist while i’m born and raised a Turkish Muslim.”
“Since we both go to cooking school, we change the cooking chore daily without a problem. Also last bit, I’m a rather progressive person and I cut ties with my uber-religious dad and J knows this.”
“So onto the story, it was J’s turn to cook and he told me he would make breakfast for the weekend. So Saturday morning (which was my birthday) he comes to my room with some food and blindfolds me saying there is a surprise.”
“Then he says he made something on the table and we walk there. I take a bite and it was pork.”
“From a pig of course. So I was of course incredibly aggravated.”
“I took the blindfold immediately and asked why he did this. He was in hysterics and thought this was SOO funny.”
“I told him it was disrespectful and he shouldn’t disrespect my religion. He scoffed off saying I was overreacting and that I wasn’t that religious anyway so he thought it wouldn’t be an issue.”
”I’m currently thinking of moving to a new room/house but my brother who I vented to is saying that’s too much of an overreaction so AITA for maybe reacting too much?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided unanimously OP was not the a**hole.
“He thought this was funny… on your birthday. Wow. NTA.” ~ Lively_Sally
“This is such the cherry on top of the sh*t cake.”
“1) who does this to their boyfriend at all?”
“2) who pranks their boyfriend on his birthday by pretending to do something sweet and loving and instead giving them something they dislike.”
“OP is NTA and is not overreacting.” ~ disguised_hashbrown
“He did this to you on your birthday?”
“Please ignore your brother and find a relationship with someone who gives a sh*t about your wellbeing and boundaries. NTA.” ~ blacksyzygy
“It wasn’t even an honest mistake, he did it on purpose for sh*ts and giggles.” ~ saucynoodlelover
“Agreed. I think he mistyped one of his lines, it should be ‘He is American and an atheist a**hole while i’m born and raised a Turkish Muslim’.”
“I have several friends who are atheists, and none of them would try and pull that kind of crap on our Jewish and Muslim friends.”
“And while some of them, including my Turkish Muslim sister-in-law are somewhat religious, they occasionally enjoy pork, specifically bacon.”
“While there are a bunch of reasons why pork was written to be forbidden in those two religions, the primary reason was tied to trichinosis, an annoying parasite that can live in pigs but in humans will turn our organs into Swiss cheese and has been all but eliminated by modern farming practices.”
“No OP, you are NTA. This turd obviously doesn’t respect you and he’s showing it by pulling crap like this.” ~ LastKingOfEarth
“NTA. In my experience, if he ignores your boundaries now, he will ignore them later.” ~ Flashy_Current2284
“Agreed. It wasn’t an accident, an honest misunderstanding, or a wrong takeout order, this was purposely crossing reasonable boundaries for his own amusement on OP’s damn birthday!”
“NTA and while I’m here, DTMFA [dump the MF’ing A**hole].” ~ Elesia
“Also, he said he ‘thought it wouldnt be an issue’. Yes he did.”
“He knew it would be an issue. That’s why he blindfolded OP before eating it!!!””
“A normal person who doesn’t think it’s an issue doesn’t completely hide the food from their partner, and definitely doesn’t laugh about it when that person gets upset!” ~ okalies
“Yep 100% he ENJOYED making him feel less than. He KNEW he did NOT want to eat this.”
“Abusive people start with violating small boundaries and escalate over time. Your brother is wrong, your boyfriend is disrespecting you and you deserve better.”
“I really hope for a break up update. I don’t see this relationship headed anywhere good.” ~ LeeLooPeePoo
“Agreed. BF is full of BS.”
“NTA, and you should move out. He did clearly demonstrate a lack of care for your boundaries.” ~ emherrera1960
“Imagine f’king BLINDFOLDING someone and tricking them into eating something you know they do not believe in eating.”
“Dude sounds like a straight-up psycho.” ~ Beginning_Friendship
“Seriously. Even if OP is rather progressive or not that religious, if he doesn’t eat pork, he needs to respect that.”
“Instead, he made it into a joke. That’s completely disrespectful and inappropriate.”
“And that’s the ultimate problem—this isn’t an argument about pork. It’s an argument about respect.”
“Pork may not be worth moving out over, but disrespect absolutely can be.” ~ Willowed-Wisp
“NTA. He’s testing to see how far he can push your boundaries, OP.”
“If he gets away with pushing this boundary, he will push others.” ~ Medievalmoomin
“OP. This is about RESPECT, and clearly, your boyfriend has none for your religious choices.”
“I second breaking up, but I’d have one last convo before and make him break down exactly how what he did was acceptable and if there is any other option to breaking up. NTA.” ~ forceofslugyuk
Mutual respect in a relationship was the key for Redditors. And they felt the OP wasn’t getting the respect he deserved from his boyfriend.
For Redditors, moving out and ending the relationship was the best course of action based on the boyfriend’s response to being called out.