It can be a very delicate issue to have friends who make considerably more money than we do.
As they might ask us to join them at expensive restaurants or on lavish vacations that we simply cannot afford.
This does, of course, go both ways, as some people who have friends who make considerable more money than they do sometimes expect these friends to treat them to things they can’t afford themselves.
Discrepancy in salaries is particularly problematic between rooommates.
A recent Redditor and her roommate split their rent evenly, both of them paying the same amount.
However, when the original poster (OP)’s roommate learned some newfound information regarding the OP’s salary, she confronted the OP and told her she should be paying a larger amount of rent.
A request the OP wouldn’t even consider.
After being called “selfish” by her roommate, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to pay more rent after getting a raise my roommate found out about?”
The OP explained why her roommate demanded she pay a higher percentage of the rent:
“I (28 F[emale]) had a huge promotion at work recently.”
“I was excited about my promotion but chose to keep it to myself because I tend to be private about money.”
“I’ve been living with my roommate (29 F[emale]) for over three years. We pay 50/50 for our apartment, but she earns far less than I do at her nonprofit job.”
“Last week, I accidentally left my laptop open and she saw my bank account, and my new balance.”
“She confronted me immediately.”
“She was upset that I did not tell her about my promotion, and now wants me to pay 80% of the rent because I earn so much more than her.”
“I told her that I do not.”
“We agreed on a 50/50 split when we started living together, and I do not think my salary of the 50/50 agreement.”
“I also have student loan payments that she does not.”
“She brought it up again yesterday saying it is the right thing to do, and I am being selfish.”
“I reminded her that I also buy the vast majority of groceries and also pay most of our utility bills without problems.”
“I don’t think my financial success now obligates me to subsidize her housing.”
“She chose her career path with the understanding of the salary limitations.”
“AITA for not wanting to pay more rent now that I got a raise in my career?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to pay more rent after getting a promotion.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s salary was not a factor when it came to rent, and if they both had equal use of the apartment, then they both should pay the same amount of rent, with some even urging the OP to consider moving out, feeling that her roommate badly violated her privacy:
“NTA.”
“You are roommates not spouses.”
“If she gets use of 50% of the apartment then she should pay 50% of the costs for being in that apartment.”
“If she can’t afford the rent there then that is her problem to fix not her roommates.”
“She sounds emotionally immature expecting other people to make up for her deficiencies and give her a more comfortable life.”
“If the roles were reversed what would your expectations be for her and her money?”
“Reversing the roles can help you be fair to both yourself and her.”
“Also, caving in to toxic immaturity does not help.”
“It enables people to be more immature and delays their healthy natural growth.”
“If she refuses to grow up you might need to find a new roommate or new living situation.”
“Good luck!”- Responsible-Start307
“INFO : WHY don’t you pay 100% and she can just move out?”
“You’re not her ATM and she isn’t entitled to your money.”
“If she wants to share an apartment with you, than she’s obliged to pay her share of the rent: 50%.”
“What you make is NONE OF HER BUSINESS.”
“ALSO: CALL HER OUT ON SNOOPING IN YOUR COMPUTER!”
“NTA.”- DoIwantToKnow6417
“Absolutely NTA and totally inappropriate for her to ask.”
“You are flatmates, not life partners, and that kind of request is something that people in partnerships do for one another, for love, because they support one another.”
“You two are financially independent from each other.”
“She is not your family.”
“There is no reason you should have to pay for her to live.”
“Really audacious, entitled, and spiteful that she would even ask.”
“In what world would any flatmate ever say yes to that request?”- nefariousratking
“NTA.”
“She’s your roommate, not your partner – 50/50 is the correct way to handle rent.”
“Plus, you already contribute more in terms of groceries and utilities, so it would be an even more unfair split.”- sleepyHedgehog99
“Absolutely NTA, no question about it.”
“To be blunt, she’s an AH for even asking.”
“And I find it hard to imagine she just happened to notice your bank balance when passing your laptop, rather than noticing it was open and choosing to look.”
“I’d consider that a gross violation of my privacy and would find it impossible to ever trust the person again.”
“It’s really simple, the pay rise is yours singular not yours plural.”- Phil_Oop_North
“NTA.”
“WTF is she thinking?”
“You aren’t partners so your money has nothing to do with her.”
“If she wants cheaper rent she can move out.”
“It’s absolutely mind boggling the mental gymnastics involved in justifying her asking for your money.”
“Just tell her she is absolutely out of line and it’s your money.”
“Also probably be prepared to find another living situation.”
“Money is usually the cause of relationships breaking down in situations like this.”- mck-_-
“NTA.”
“You have an agreement.”
“I’d personally go, ‘I’d need to look at what I could afford if I moved out and lived by myself instead of having a room mate before I even start to consider changing our 50/50 agreement’. Let me do some research’.”
“If they are that skint and you genuinely have a good living arrangement, they’ll back down pretty quickly.”- dragonetta123
“NTA.”
“Partners and SO usually split rent based off income disparity, but normal roommates?”
“Nope that’s 50/50.”
“You work hard and shouldn’t have to subsidize her life.”
“If she doesn’t like the arrangement she can leave it, but you are under zero obligation to pay more. It doesn’t make you selfish, rude, a bad friend, a bad roommate, a bad person, or an a**hole.”- Exciting-Peanut-1526
“I won the lottery and we told no one.”
‘Not one single person knows and they won’t until we die.”
“It’s been years.”
“NTA but sadly you may need to find a new Roommate or move.”- TweetHearted
“Yeah, stick to your guns, but I would be planning to move out from this person.”
“Looking at your bank account info?”
‘Gross and intrusive.”
“What if she starts helping herself to things, because you ‘earn more’?”
“NTA.”- NatashOverWorld
“NTA.”
‘You are her roommate not her spouse you don’t owe her paying more just because you earn more.”
“If she cannot afford to live there anymore without you paying more then she needs to move out.”- Secret_Double_9239
“NTA.”
“You are her room mate not her partner.”
“You share a space, you don’t share your life.”
“You also pay far more than she does in food and utilities.”
“Time to examine your lease and find a new place on you own.”
“Or a new roommate.”
“This one is done.”- Adelucas
“I don’t know what kind of relationship dynamic this is where someone can just ‘confront’ me about my bank balance.”
“You need to reexamine that.”
“NTA.”- Fearless-Speech-1131
“NTA.”
“If anything, tell her that if you were to pay that much for rent, you might as well pay 100% and live alone.”- WavyHairedGeek
“NTA.”
“This story is fishy.”
“You’re private about money, but roommate suddenly ‘sees’ your new balance?”
“So your roommate knows your old ‘balance’?”
“So that means your roommate is aware of your bank statements and/or your prior paycheck?”
“Huh?!”- RandomNatureFeels
“NTA.”
“Wow, if she insist on you paying more, I suggest you move out.”
“Your money, your rules.”- notover_thinking
“Tell her no coz you’re saving to buy a one bedroom flat all to yourself.”
“NTA she’s absurd!”- Doughnut2220
As the saying goes, life isn’t fair.
Both the OP and their roommate went into their lease agreeing to split the rent evenly, not based on their respective incomes.
Seeing as they both have an equal amount of control over their apartment, they should both be paying an equal amount of rent.
If the OP’s roommate is having trouble affording her share of the rent, then the logical solution would be for her to move out and find somewhere she can afford to live.