A lot of thought goes into choosing a baby’s name.
Many soon-to-be parents want to name their child in honor of a family member or loved one who meant a lot to them.
Others go for originality, trying to pick a name that few, if any, other expecting parents would think of.
In these cases, when expecting parents do discover that another family thought of the same name, they are usually less than enthusiastic.
Redditor Open-Event-9604 and her husband were expecting a baby boy, and both agreed on what they thought was the perfect name.
Upon sharing this news with her family, the original poster (OP)’s sister was anything but enthusiastic about her choice of baby name.
Even going so far as to demand she change it, which the OP flatly refused.
Wondering if she was in the wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA if I don’t change the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name?”
The OP explained why her sister was not at all pleased with what the OP planned to name their baby boy:
“I found out I was pregnant and due in July 2025.”
“My sister gave birth to her baby in Feb 2025.”
“When I announced my pregnancy to her back in a December 2024, I also announced the gender and the name.”
“I found out then she had chosen the same name for her baby boy.”
“She has had 3 other children for which she never announced the name.”
“Since then, she has been pressuring me to change the name because it causes her panic attack and anxiety.”
“She says two cousins born 5 months apart with the same name is going to create an unnecessary rivalry.”
“My husband and I had chosen this name prior to conception and announced it to everyone (family & friends) without knowing her intentions.”
“I am now 8 months pregnant and I have been calling my baby by this name since the beginning.”
“I don’t want to change the name.”
“Neither does my husband.”
“For context, her baby was born with some kidney issues and had to have surgery at 10 weeks old so she has been especially sensitive.”
“Personally, I feel for her but I don’t see this name thing as a major issue and I don’t want to change the name of my baby because she has anxiety over this.”
“She did not steal the name, we just happened to choose the same name.”
“It is my first pregnancy and I announced the name at the same time of my pregnancy announcement (3 months).”
“She was due with a baby boy 5 months before mine.”
“She did not announce the name and kept it secret (as she did with her 3 other children).”
“I found out she chose the same name when I saw the look on her face when i announced it to her.”
“Am I the a**ole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to change the name of her baby boy.
While just about everyone agreed that the OP was under no obligation to change the name of her child, as she shared her intent to use the name first, many still sympathized with her sister. They cited her anxiety and panic attacks likely stemmed from her baby’s poor health and not the fact that he would share a name with his cousin:
“NAH.”
“But only because your sister is clearly having a very hard time because her baby is/was sick.”
“That’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone and is likely to be causing her to be a bit irrational. Maybe she’s worried her little boy will die and then be forgotten if his name isn’t unique, especially with how close in age he will be to your son?”
“But that’s not a reason for you to change the name if you don’t want to.”
“Cousins having the same name is so so common!”
“And you’ve said you plan on using an Italian nickname, so really, it’s not like there will be two Johns the same age being called ‘John.’ If you’re trying to get the attention of one kid, yours will be Mario or whatever.”
“Completely blanked on Italian names for some reason, haha.”- Anxious_Reporter_601
“Soooo your sister has a baby that’s sick and has already had one surgery?”
“Let me be morbid.”
“Imagine her child dies from those problems.”
“Are you going to regret using the same name then?”
“That said, NAH.”- violue
“Possibly NAH, although the ‘pressuring’ leans toward your sister being TA.”
“People, even in the same family, often have the same name.”
“What ‘rivalry’ comes from this?”
“Natural nicknames, or using middle names (Bobby Jo and Bobby Sue), or a hundred other things can solve this.”
“It’s not entirely clear that she chose the name because you had already told her, but they had the right idea with their first two: no need to ‘announce’ a name before the child is born.”
“Only the parents need to be involved in naming.”
“So if you and your husband want this name, it’s your child’s name.”
“A therapist can help your sister with her anxiety; that’s not your job.”- Tangerine_Bouquet
“NAH.”
“Your sister didn’t know that was the name you chose when she selected that name.”
“Taking this info from your comment.”
“She has a right to feel the way she does, and you also have a right to love the name you chose and stick to it.”
“Neither of you own a name.”
“Now what you both need to think about is the future of the kids.”
“How often they will meet (I guess very, because they’ll be around the same age), if this will be uncomfortable etc.”
“The main thing to consider is if either of you want to die on this hill.”
“You both could choose another name or you both could choose the same, either way keep the kids’ well-being in focus.”
“If you two will build resentment over this, and it ruins your relationship, think about whether it’s worth it or not.”
“Try to talk this through with her calmly if you can. Don’t be accusatory or attacking, just ask her what, in her opinion, you both should do and if she thinks it would be acceptable for both kids to have that same name and differentiate with nicknames or a second name.”- faulty_rainbow
Others pointed out that no one has the right or authority to call dibs on names, and since the OP announced the name first, if anyone should change the name of their baby, it should be the OP’s sister:
“NTA.”
“I’ve seen posts like this from other people.”
“How does it give her anxiety?”
“She doesn’t corner the market on that name.”
“As a matter of fact, if you told her long before SHE was pregnant, then she ‘stole’ the name from you.”
“And how does she think having the same name will cause a rivalry?”
“That’s just really odd.”
“She needs to get over herself.”
“Congratulations.”- Romance-BookWorm-55
“NTA.”
“As far as I understand, you announced it first.”
“So (imo) it doesn’t matter if her baby was born first, you announced the name before she did.”
“You’ve been calling your baby this name since the beginning and feel like it’s theirs.”
“In my family, my brother and my cousin share one name (granted, for my brother is his middle name and for my cousin his first), and we’ve never had an issue because of that.”
“My brother usually goes by both names or just by his middle.”
“My cousin either by both, or by his middle as well.”
“Idk.”
“I think you have to prioritize your family.”
“Your sister chose to name her baby the same name as yours, not the opposite.”
“So why should you change it?”- azaharinflames
“NTA.”
“I have two sets of cousins with the same names.”
“In some countries it’s extremely common, as people name their children after their parents (this was the case in my family).”
“From your post I understand it’s not common where you are, but it’s not the end of the world.”- remote_goblin
“NTA.”
“Just go with your name.”- Comfortable_Rub7549
It would be one thing either the OP or her sister named their child a certain name knowing the other planned on using it.
In which case, they would both have a right to be furious.
However, seeing as the OP was the one who shared her intention to use this particular name first, it seems more than a little unreasonable of her sister to demand she change it.
While one can certainly sympathize with the OP’s sister for everything she’s already had to endure with her new baby, she also must be aware that this would not be the first case of cousins sharing the same name.