I went to college with sisters who were first generation Americans of Khmer parents from Cambodia. Their sames varied by two letters at the end.
Ignorant people on campus referred to them as the "Cambodian sisters with the same name" and not bothering to learn which name went with which sister.
By that logic Timmy, Tammy, and Tommy definitely have the same name. After all, there's only one letter different in each of them.
A new mother turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after her sister accused her of using the same name as her twins for her child.
Sufficient-View2574 asked:
"AITA for still using the baby name I told my sister I was going to use, despite her using a variation of it first?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (35, female) had my first daughter in September. While I was pregnant my sister (38, female) was also pregnant with a boy. In reality she was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, but thought it would be fun if it was a surprise for everyone."
"During that time I told her that I planned to name this baby after our mom, Colette, and my husband's mother, Coral, both names start with 'Co' and I think 'Coco' is an adorable nickname. She told me the name they picked was a surprise and they didn't want to reveal it until the baby was here."
"Lo and behold her twins are born in August, everyone is super surprised that it's twins. She names them Cole and Lettie. I didn't think much of it except that it was really cute and sweet that she clearly named them after our mom."
"When my daughter was born, I followed through and named her Colette Coral, we almost exclusively call her Coco."
"My sister is very annoyed that I followed through with the name and brings it up all the time how ridiculous it is that three of them practically share a name. It's also confusing if full names are used, I will admit that."
"Despite me telling her my entire pregnancy this was the name I planned to use. I even had stuff made with the name! She ensures everyone knows her babies we're born first."
"Honestly, If she had told me months ago that she planned to use Cole and Lettie, I probably would've pivoted, but she never said anything. Heck, even if she told me she was using Cole I would've re-evaluated."
"Currently debating legally swapping Coral and Colette simply to keep the peace, but that feels an awful lot like admitting I'm the a**hole in the first place."
"So Am I the A**hole?"
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
"Despite my sister naming her babies first. I went ahead and used the name I picked that is arguably the same name."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"Cole, Lettie, and Colette are three distinctly different names. They're as close to being the same name as Jimmy and Tammy or Danny and Connie."
"All y'all need to get a grip and stop making something out of nothing. When your sister brings it up, act like she's as insane as you all sound because they aren't the same names. They aren't even close. Good, Lord..."
"Multiple people in my family (all cousins) are named Jacqueline. And no one died. They each use variations as their nicknames: Jac, Jacquee, Jacky, Jackie. Again, no one died."
"No one's the a**hole, but everyone sounds ridiculous." ~ MohawMais
"NTA, and I would tell her 'til the cows come home.... 'if this was gonna be a problem for you... you shouldn't have done it. I told you what I was gonna do and I did it'."
"'Was your plan really to save this secret until the last minute and then expect we would change our planned names on short notice to accommodate your feelings? Did you have any consideration for my feelings? For real, tell me that wasn't your actual plan here and that somehow I'm the problem'." ~ chuckinhoutex
"I agree but would shorten it down to: 'You knew what my daughter's name was going to be. If you had a problem with similar names, why did you name your children so close to mine?'." ~ Beaumis
"The craziest part is she probably genuinely convinced herself she is the victim here. Manipulators always have this complete lack of self-awareness the absolute second their script gets flipped and you don't react the way they planned." ~ Better_Dream7722
"NTA, she did it on purpose, that's why she asked and refused to tell hers. Never share your baby names until the baby is born or else you end up with this situation. Now you know for next time?" ~ oCrystal
"NTA. It was definitely on purpose. I don't get why people continue to try these games with children's names." ~ AccountNameNeeded
"Listen, if George Foreman can name all 5 of his sons George and one of his daughters Georgette, I’m sure your set of cousins will be fine."
"But I do think Coral Colette flows more nicely."
"Either way NTA. Your sister should’ve clued you in since she was aware of your plan." ~ romero0705
"Your answer cracked me up, but you are totally right!"
"OP keep the name if you like it. It's a special connection to your mum, and a now a special connection between cousins. NTA."
"If it annoys your sis, she can only blame herself as she had all the info when she named her kids!" ~ llamadiorama99
"Her sister couldn't clue her in, because that would give away the fact that she wanted to claim use of the names for herself."
"This was intentional by the sister. I would bet a TON of money that she didn't have those names chosen until told about the plans for Coral Colette." ~ steveamsp
"Why would you change the name? You need to tell your sister that she knew what you were naming your daughter, and she chose those names anyway. This is the last time you want to hear about it, and you won't be changing the name. She needs to get over it." ~ Jazzy404404
"Yeah, it’s funny how the sister is saying it’s confusing etc... when she is the one who created this situation lollll OP do not fold to this bully behavior. Remind her as many times as she brings it up that she’s the one who created all of this." ~ falloutgrungemaster
"I have two cousins and a grandfather named Charlie. No one mixes them up. Don't change your baby's name to 'keep the peace,' you will just show you can be manipulated." ~ Thismarno
"There are like 45 Williams or a variation of William in my husband's family, both maternal and paternal. His paternal grandmother has 2 brothers, both named William."
"They named their sons William. His uncle is named William, and he named his son William. My husband's middle name is William."
"His maternal grandfather was William, and he named his son William. Just so many Williams and they all had nicknames, so no one was ever confusing them." ~ RougeOne23456
"You’re never 'keeping the peace,' you’re 'keeping the tension.' She’s just going to find something else that she decides she wants to push you around on. She can dwell in the awkwardness of the situation she created." ~ PanBlanco22
"NTA She's only mad because she tried to steal some of your thunder, and it didn't work. The kids' names are fine, the only one with a chafed butt is your sister, it's not worth the attention." ~ hereticallyeverafter
"NTA. I'm confused how Cole, Lettie, and Colette are too similar names for cousins to have. Honestly, unless you're saying both her kids' names together without the 'and' in between, you could miss the fact they're cole-lettie. But no one else will notice this similarity." ~ Broken-Ice-Cube
"Keep the name—they aren’t the same. Your sister is being ridiculous. NTA." ~ Smooth-Original-6478
"I have two cousins and an aunt with the same name and everyone is just fine." ~ Jmac_files
"I'm related to 14 women with the same French Feminine name as me and 12 men with the masculine version. At least I'm not Michel/Michelle, there are about 45 of those in my extended family." ~ Battle-Any
"NTA. Next time she brings it up just point out she knew your choice and if she had an issue she shouldn’t have chosen what she did. It’s all on her and you don’t want to hear anything further on it."
"Also Cole, Colette and Coco are not the same." ~ RomanceBkLvr
"NTA. Keep the name. It’s cute a a nod to both grands as I’m sure they love it. Your sister sounds petty." ~ Classic-Delivery3875
"Your sister clearly wanted to be difficult and get the props for naming her kids after your mother and is annoyed you didn’t give in to her. I suppose you could swap the names, but given you’re using the nickname Coco, I don’t think it’s an issue that needs addressing."
"If your sister persists in saying her kids were born first, just reply with ‘yes, and I told you my name choice first.’ Nothing else - just let everyone else connect the dots. NTA." ~ According-Let3541
Sibling rivalry can be a lifelong issue for some people. Maybe it's time for everyone to grow up.
