Everyone knows that a person can decide what the rules are in their own home, and it’s generally understood that those rules should be respected upon visiting them.
But while some people technically know this, they still refuse to respect other people’s rules when visiting someone else’s house, cringed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor AdeptnessBubbly5400 was sunbathing in her own backyard next to her own pool, and because her husband forgot to tell her, she also wasn’t expecting company, so she was sunbathing without a top.
She was already surprised enough when her husband’s sister and family showed up, but when they shamed her for being topless in their presence, the Original Poster (OP) decided it was time for them to leave, even though they demanded to use her pool.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for sunbathing topless at my own house and kicking out my husband’s sister and her family?”
The OP was relaxing when unexpected guests arrived at her house.
“I (25 Female) had started sunbathing topless next to our backyard pool.”
“I had no idea anyone was coming, and I was shocked when I saw my husband’s sister, Chloe, her husband, Mike, and their eight-year-old son walking up to me.”
The family of three was rude to the OP instead of giving her privacy.
“They were staring at my boobs, and Chloe (38 Female) stood over me while saying, ‘Really? Topless while we’re coming over?'”
“Mike just kept staring at me, and I didn’t know what t he f**k to say. I ended up covering my nipples with my arm, and Chloe finally pulled them back towards the house.”
“I put on my top and went inside and Chloe gave me a dirty look and told me not to leave all of my boobs hanging out for her husband and kid to see next time.”
“Also, a previous time we hung out, she had told me to cover up more around her husband, but we were literally both wearing bikinis, just my boobs are bigger.”
The OP didn’t like being told what to do in her own home.
“I blew up on them, saying I didn’t know they were even coming over.”
“My husband apologized to CHLOE, saying he forgot to tell me they were coming and he thought he already did (apparently she texted him earlier, and he had let them in).”
“I was mad, and I told them they needed to leave.”
“Chloe and Mike argued with me and said that their son was looking forward to using our pool, and my husband tried to calm me down, but I pushed them out.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: No A**holes
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that the family could have handled the situation much better.
“NTA. They should have quickly pretended not to see you, gone back, and discreetly told your husband, who at that point could have said something to you.”
“Everyone should have just pretended this did not happen and made a mental note on how to prevent future incidents.”
“Instead, they came right up to you, stared to make you uncomfortable, and then chastised you in your own house!” – dzelthenmaize
“NTA. Chloe needs to shut up. It’s not her house, she doesn’t get to tell you to put it away. Entitled much? Sheesh.”
“And your husband should not be acting like he’s the only one who lives there. He’s an a**.” – savagefleurdelis23
“The way that sister acted, I think the OP needs to disallow all pool privileges until further notice. She acted like she had a right to be upset. She wasn’t contrite in the least! No, no pool for you!” – gobsmacked247
“…Why did they feel the need to all go right up to you and ogle you? You should have super kicked them out. NTA.” – colossalgoji
“It’s pretty disturbing how the sister had her husband and son just standing there ogling her breasts and then acting all offended. OP’s husband apparently has no problem with his sister’s husband staring at his wife’s naked breasts.”
“If he knew they were coming over, he would have protected his wife’s right to privacy before another man saw his wife in that position. I’d never trust my husband again. I wouldn’t feel like he’d ever protect me from a male predator but hand me over instead and then victim blame me for being assaulted.” – CharliAP
“NTA for sunbathing in your own house or for kicking them out. They should’ve apologized for reacting like they did once it was clear they surprised you. By not apologizing, it shows they care more about using your pool than you as a person.” – geekylace
“NTA. As a woman, Chloe should have noticed as they were walking towards you, and instead steered her husband and child back inside. To allow her husband to come right up and look at you is so offensive. And then for her child to also see you in a state of undress.”
“This is such bad manners on their part, but also clearly a deliberate attempt to shame and humiliate you.”
“A reasonable person would have realised and protected your modesty. There was absolutely no need to continue to walk forward to a point twhere hey stood right over you. They would all have known this was inappropriate.”
“It sounds like Chloe has a lot of issues with you, and perhaps jealousy, to act in this way. Her husband clearly doesn’t have respect for either you or your husband to not have steered the family away.”
“Please talk to your husband and show him these comments. He needs to have some boundaries with them and not allow his sister and her family to disrespect you both.”
“They’d definitely be off my Christmas card list, and I would never be anything other than distant with them. They definitely wouldn’t be welcome in my home or pool anymore. This is just appalling behaviour on their side. Until they both re-evaluate and accept how offensively they behaved, and apologise.”
“The entitlement of Chloe to lecture you when they came over with little notice and were guests… That’s just unacceptable.”
“She’s being ridiculous for thinking you were in some way being deliberate, and assuming it was a power move on your part and or something sexual. What poor character Chloe and her husband possess.” – No-Fish9282
Others agreed and felt the OP had handled the situation reasonably.
“If I were the sister, I would have turned right around and told my husband and son to close their eyes and go back inside. I would have gone to my brother and asked if his wife was even aware that we were coming over today and then at least poked fun at him for forgetting to tell her.”
“How ignorant and icky are these people that they ogled OP like that. It’s her own d**n house for one thing, not theirs. She can dress or undress however the eff she wants to. And she should be able to do it without perverted weirdo family members staring right over top of her or having anything to say about it.”
“Also, being so entitled about the pool is gross. Figure out other pool accommodations if you’re going to act like that; you’re not welcome in this one.”
“NTA. Get the eff out of my house.” – Frequent_Couple5498
“NTA. SIL thought she had to make sure OP knows she’s a hussy and a wh*re for having the gall to have larger boobs and be younger than SIL. Women can be the most vicious creatures when they feel insecure about another woman, and since we don’t usually fight by throwing punches, it’s psychological warfare.”
“So of course, the older SIL who’s had a child has to make sure OP knows she should be ashamed for… being herself on her own property. Gross. NTA.” – SoulLessGinger992
“Until you get an apology for their rude behavior and condescending tone, they are not welcome back.”
“I would honestly tell your husband, since he forgot to tell you they were coming over, that he’s also lost the right to tell people they can come over: otherwise, next time, you might just be topless in front of his friends, as well.” – Big-Tomorrow2187
“Your house, your pool. You can even be a nudist at home if you’d like. Only AH here is your husband for not letting you know guests were coming… and then the guests for not saying something before they got to the point of standing over you.”
“At a minimum, he should have told you that his sister and family were coming over, but I still think it would have been better to ask if it was okay with you at all right then.” – Public_Beefout
“NTA, and blame your husband for how he didn’t tell you that they were coming over. Being your husband, I would think that he’d know that you prefer to sunbathe topless and might have let you know they had arrived.”
“His sister should have kept her mouth shut because you were in your home and you could do whatever you want. She wouldn’t like it if you came over and told her to change her decorations and judged her for how she raises her kid.” – Rimuru_The_Junior
“Sounds like they are no longer welcome in your home since SIL is not comfortable.”
“And BIL for staring at her breasts instead of turning his head like a decent married grown a** man would do it, too. He should apologize for being a disgusting piece of s**t, too.”
“Any apology at this point from SIL will not be genuine and will only be about her having access to pool time. Although I would never want to be around any of them again, and wouldn’t care about apologies at this point. I’d never want to be around him specifically again.”
“Husband needs to man up. His sister deserved zero apology. The only one who deserved an apology was you for him not informing you of guests coming over, for SIL’s attitude about what you do in your own home, and for BIL inappropriately looking at you and setting a bad example for his son.” – Present-Duck4273
The subReddit was shocked by how the OP was treated by her in-laws for how she behaved in her own home when she wasn’t expecting guests, and what’s worse, even when the misunderstanding was realized, they continued to push the issue instead of apologizing.
Most could not imagine the family being welcome to come over and use the pool anymore, but some even went so far as to wonder how much of a relationship to have with them at all.