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Nanny For High Profile Family Furious After Her Mom Lied To Her Face About Violating Her NDA

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Redditor freetobex2 signed a non-disclosure agreement for her work as a nanny to a “high-profile family.”

But when she became suspicious that someone in her family may have violated the agreement terms by leaking specifics about her job, she resorted to some investigating and became outraged about her discovery.

She visited the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for ‘hacking’ my moms instagram to see if she violated NDA?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’m a nanny for a high profile family. I signed a very extensive and strict NDA. Anyone directly involved in my life, mom, dad, sis, and husband, also signed an NDA.”

“The nanny family recommended this, to talk about the job without getting into any legal trouble or putting them at risk.”

“Recently ran into one of my parents’ neighbors, Amber, at the park. Amber asked how the new job was going, then proceeded to ask specifics about how it must be working for a family where the parents are (insert their jobs here). A direct violation of the NDA and something I could be fired and sued for.”

“My dad isn’t the sharing type, like at all, so I figured it was probably my mom. I asked her about it in a casual ‘Hey how’s Amber,’ way. I said I ran into Amber at the park and that it was odd because she knew details about my job without me telling her.”

“My mom simply shrugged and said, ‘That’s funny. Maybe she googled? Or saw something on social media?'”

“My dad and sister absolutely hate Amber. They essentially said hell would have to freeze over before they spoke to her willingly. My dad ended our convo where I asked him about it by saying, ‘The only thing I know about her is that her son just made partner at a law firm in New York and is making bank and that’s only because mom saw it on instagram and told me about it.'”

“Right then, I knew my mom lied to me and it was her. She and Amber love to ‘one up’ each other with their children’s success, and I also just landed a great new job. I asked my mom about it AGAIN and she told me that I was being dramatic, making stuff up, and that she would never do that to me.”

“My mom doesn’t text people, only DM’s on instagram. I know her password so logged in to check her messages. There was an extremely long DM to Amber where she shared their professions, children’s names, ages, private school, general locations of their homes, how they pay ‘really well’, etc. Everything that we are legally NOT allowed to say, she said.”

“I called her immediately and said that I logged into her DM’s and saw the message she sent Amber that was a violation. She started screaming at me about how she is supposed to be able to trust her daughter, she can’t believe I hacked into her instagram, that mothers should be allowed to brag about their children, and then she hung up.”

“It has been a week without contact between the two of us. We used to speak every single day. I am starting to believe that maybe I’m the a**hole here for violating her trust like that.”

“My husband says if anyone violated trust here it is her and that I gave her ample opportunity to tell the truth before I intervened and sought out the truth myself.”

“He constantly reminds me that they could sue us into the ground, and fire me, for endangering my nanny family’s well being. Because truthfully, Amber could easily be a psycho fan or sell the information to someone who is. So, AITA?”

Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Many Redditors declared NTA.

“NTA your husband is right. She literally could ruin your lives with that information.” – Idk_wat_im_doin_here

“Not only is OPs mom clearly in the wrong here, but she lied to her and broke her, gas lit her, then has the audacity to say that OP is the one who broke the trust?”

“Sorry to say OP but I would personally tell the family and recommend they sue. Either that or outright tell your mother that you are considering this, since her continuing to tell anyone that information could literally ruin your life.”

“She needs to get a clue. Fast.” – VicariousPanda

“NTA, your mom crossed the line and could end up costing you your job. I would be livid.” – downbythesea113

People also pointed out that the OP’s job was not the only thing at risk as a result of the mother’s violation.

“And it could put the kids at risk if they’re high profile enough that the nanny’s whole family had to sign NDAs and info on them is private enough that it could be sold to the media.” – AnimalLover38

“Came here to say that. It would’ve been bad enough – breach of a legal contract! – to share that you work for the parents and what they do, but sharing detailed info on the kids? That’s irresponsible IMO.”

“You have every right to be pissed off and you’re absolutely NTA. Glad to hear you have a lawyer and are sorting this out. Hope you keep your job!” – catsy83

“Not only costing OP the job but by giving such intimate details about this family she put the children in danger. These kinds of rules exist because of people who will try to manipulate or stalk the children to get to the parents.”

“This is all absolutely not okay and OP is right to take it seriously.” – picklefluffer

“Agreed NTA. OP’s mum is completely in the wrong, how can she talk about trust when she broke OP’s first. As someone who works with children, I am horrified about all the personal information she gave to Amber about the children.”

“Confidentiality & Safeguarding alarm bells just started ringing in my head when I read that part. Full names and name of school 😱 that’s such a big no no concerning children, I can’t even, seriously just shocked.” – Zay071288

When asked if the OP should come clean to the nanny family, the OP responded:

“I work a 2 week on/2 week off schedule, so I haven’t seen them in person since this all went down. I sent them a message letting them know that there is an NDA issue and we are discussing it on Mon morning!”

“I’ve been doing this a long time and keeping things like this from your employers is the worst thing you can do. Could I get fired? Yes. I love the family though and want to keep them safe. To do that, they need all the information about the situation.”

Hopefully, the OP’s transparency will convince the nanny family to continue employing her.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo