Allergies seem to rule the world these days.
They are far more rampant and insidious than they ever were.
How one peanut can kill a person is shocking.
But we’ve all learned to adjust.
And allergies can lead to some extreme confrontations.
Case in point…
Redditor DishProfessional432 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for Ignoring a Kid’s Life Threatening Allergy?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife and I moved out of the city and bought a small acreage a year ago.”
“We’ve been saving for years to live a life that was free of HOAs/restrictions.”
“The first week after we moved in we had a lot of people stop by- one of them was ‘Amanda.'”
Almost immediately she appeared distressed.”
“She asked why we had peanuts on our patio.”
“We explained that we put them out for the birds and squirrels.”
“She explained that her 11-year-old son has a severe allergy to nuts and could we please stop.”
“As she explained it, birds and squirrels could drop or hide nuts close to her house, a few roads over.”
“I will admit, I got my back up a bit because we had purposefully moved to a rural area to get away from restrictions.”
“But my wife convinced me it wasn’t a big deal and we could just switch to seeds.”
“We did just so and while the birds don’t visit as much, I figured it was an okay compromise for the sake of a little boy.”
“We’ve only seen Amanda in passing ever since, but are always cordial with each other.”
“The big issue came 2 weeks ago.”
“I recently started selling things at the local market— eggs, peacock feathers, fruit from our fruit trees, my wife’s crafts, and walnuts from the trees on our land.”
“We’ve been providing a pretty solid addition to our income.”
“2 weeks ago, Amanda came pounding on our door.”
“My wife, who is very non-confrontational, answered and Amanda demanded to see our walnut trees.”
“As she had heard from a neighbor that they were on our land.”
“My wife admitted we had about 10 but made up an excuse saying she had to leave for an appointment.”
“Before leaving Amanda exclaimed, ’10?! Well, obviously they’ll need to be cut down. Tsk, tsk, we’ve already had this discussion.'”
“This week Amanda showed up while I was home with a petition (less than 20 names) demanding we cut down our trees.”
“My rationale was the trees were decades old and if he hasn’t encountered the nuts yet, it would be unlikely he would in the future.”
“She was obviously very angry and said, ‘If I had known about them they wouldn’t be decades old.'”
“She threatened to bring her petition to the local authorities and call the police for ‘public endangerment.'”
“I admit, I got angry and was a bit snarky saying that a mature walnut tree in our area goes for about $500.”
“So if she wanted to offer $5000 plus the income I plan to make from the nuts every year plus the cost of an arborist to remove them, I would consider it.”
“She left angrily and yelled I would hear from the police, which I haven’t.”
“My wife is on my side but thinks I was an a**hole about how I said, ‘No.'”
“A few of our neighbors have said they think Amanda is an a**hole but that I’m also an a**hole because the boy could suffer an allergic reaction because of a few trees.”
“I’m being ‘pigheaded’ about it.”
“Just hoping others could weigh in.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. Amanda sounds nuts.”
“It’s unrealistic to expect someone several streets away to cut down trees she didn’t even know about for years.” ~ RhaineMolecule
“I think OP is NTA.”
“But some people with severe allergies can react to particles in the air, oils on skin (especially with nuts).”
“And could potentially have reactions to other skin contact of tree bark or leaves.”
“It isn’t always as simple as not eating nuts off the ground.” ~ theflyingkettle
“That’s fair, but seeing that she didn’t even know that there were 10 massive walnut trees in the neighbor’s garden, it seems unlikely that his allergies are that severe.”
“If he was having reactions every time he went to play in the garden, she would likely have hunted them down sooner.”
“But honestly, even if that is the case, it’s STILL not justification to demand OP cut down his trees and stop putting nuts out for the birds.”
“He would have to learn to deal with a nutty world sooner or later, and sooner is better for everyone.”
“It’s one thing to politely ask your cooking class to not bring seeds or nuts when making breadrolls.”
“And another thing entirely to demand that your entire neighborhood reorganise itself permanently around your child’s allergy!” ~ PoisonPlushi
OP had a few more deets…
“Her son has allergies to peanuts, nuts, eggs, and shellfish.”
“Our local grocery keeps nuts in sealed containers and the school is completely nut free.”
“I’m a woman, as well.”
Reddit continued…
“I mean OP is NTA because this woman is crazy and has unrealistic expectations of how the world needs to cater to her son, but maybe her son has multiple allergies.”
“My wife is deathly allergic to nuts, tree nuts and legumes (anaphylaxis to all three).”
“But this doesn’t stop me from having peanut butter in the home, or bags of chopped walnuts, pecans, etc.. that I put in my yogurt in the morning.” ~ elvid88
“I’ve been teaching in schools where a student is allergic to nuts, so the school is a ‘nut-free environment.'”
“Yes, I realised how that sounded.”
“Nuts are not allowed on the school grounds.”
“I agree that OP is NTA, but he did well for not feeding the wildlife with nuts anymore.”
“You can have an anaphylactic attack without eating it.”
“So I don’t think OP would enjoy knowing that he send an 11 year old to the hospital, or ‘God’ forbidden, killed him.”
“Cutting trees is too extreme though.”
“She (the neighbor) can move to another neighborhood if she’s unhappy.” ~ Iataaddicted25
“Is she planning on ridding Earth of all nuts and legumes?”
“At 11, this kid needs to be able to recognize these allergens in nature and avoid them as necessary for his level of allergy.”
“I would post a no trespassing sign and no longer answer calls from the wild…woman.”
“The wildlife can stay though.”
“NTA. Anyone siding with her is just scared of being on the receiving end of her nutty tirades.” ~ JustNeedAName154
“Yes, my daughter is allergic to tree nuts, and about 10 was when it really kicked in that she had to be proactive and independent in avoiding them.”
“Up until that point, she knew not to eat them, but hadn’t really clicked that they could be hidden in foods.”
“She had a reaction one day when she ate a nut dip when she was with a friend.”
“We’d never had nut dips in our house, so it hadn’t clicked with her that they were a thing.”
“It was also the age when she was with other people more often, without a parent to supervise what she was eating.”
“If she could do it, so can this 11 year old.”
“Especially since you are talking about trees and fresh walnuts, which are easily recognizable.”
“My daughter knew about fresh nuts years before that point.” ~ regus0307
“Does she also do this to stores?”
“‘You can’t sell nuts! It is a risk for my son!'”
“And tries to hunt down every squirrel because it could come with a nut or nutty breath to close to her son… creatures of the devil!”
“Those walnut trees were there the whole time that she lived there.”
“And no nut rolled close to her son.”
“But now that she knows about them, the trees are sooooo dangerous. NTA.” ~ EvilFinch
“NTA. Amanda is out of her tree.”
“The biggest nut her child needs protection from is Amanda.”
“Just tell her to leaf you alone or you’ll branch out to other allergens.”
“Seriously, we raised kids with allergies, carried epi pens and all that.”
“I hope you live where you can get a restraining order.” ~ TwinBoomr50
“NTA. Listen, I have a pretty severe nut allergy and I grew up on a walnut and hazelnut farm.”
“Unless I want to roll in the nuts I’m in no danger.”
“I don’t pretend to know how bad this kid’s allergies are, but forcing the entire neighborhood to go nut free for the sake of her kids sounds super over-the-top.”
“Besides, peanuts aren’t nuts–they’re legumes.”
“If her kid is allergic to nuts she should know the difference.”
“He could have both nut and legume allergies, but you still shouldn’t have to restrict what is served (or grown) on your own property.” ~ IAmHerdingCatz
Well OP. Reddit understands your plight.
What a situation.
Hopefully you can find peace in your new surroundings.
Good luck.