Once you’ve gotten past the physical part of giving birth, many women are faced with the reality of having to go back to work.
And all the issues that return entails.
The process of having a baby has far reaching consequences and some people may not be as understanding as one would like.
So what do yo do?
Case in point…
Redditor sparklingtrashpanda wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for embarrassing my boss when he asked why I’m not back in my regular work uniform after I just gave birth?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I just had a baby a couple of months ago, and as you can imagine, the weight doesn’t just magically disappear right away.”
“I work at a prestigious animal hospital and we have a strict dress code and are all required to wear matching scrubs in a very specific color.”
“I spoke with my practice manager (we’ll call her Nicole) when I became pregnant and told her that unfortunately, they don’t make maternity scrubs in our colors.”
“She was very understanding and said it wasn’t a big deal.”
“She is also understanding of the fact that I still only fit in my maternity scrubs.”
“Today, however, my co-worker came up to me and said, ‘Hey, Dr. B (veterinarian/hospital owner) wanted me to ask you on his behalf why you aren’t wearing your uniform within our dress code’.”
“My co-worker knows the reason why, but the doctor kind of forced her to be his little messenger anyways.”
“I could tell she was embarrassed to ask me. I think it’s pretty obvious considering I still look like I’m pregnant.”
“I stepped into the hallway and confronted Dr. B and said, ‘In case you’re wondering why I’m not dressed like everyone else, it’s because I’m still too fat to squeeze into regular clothes’.”
“I was partially joking but also annoyed that I even had to explain myself.”
“He seemed really embarrassed and caught off guard that I confronted him face to face about it.”
“But also, I was really embarrassed that he felt the need to bring up something with an obvious explanation and then drag my co-worker into it as well.”
“Not only that, but my practice manager (Nicole) is well aware that I can only fit in maternity clothing still.”
“Should I have just kept to myself and not said anything to him?”
“AITA for the way I handled this situation?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. You didn’t insult him. You made a joke about yourself, and he felt embarrassed.”
“Good. He should mind his own business.” ~ Mysterious-Tea-7218
“And it’s why he pays a practice manager – to handle those kinds of things for him and the practice.”
“He should have gone straight to the practice manager – or at least the receptionist should have so the manager could have spoken to the doc directly given she was already aware and had agreed to the accommodation.”
“He got caught up in his rudeness and unfortunately drug the receptionist with him. NTA OP.” ~ genxeratl
“I really respect OP for how she dealt with this.”
“She recognized that the messenger was coerced and dealt with the guy directly to save the young woman further embarrassment and remove her from a situation she shouldn’t have been involved in.”
“Also, what kind of D-bag orders scrubs that only thinner people can get into.”
“Does he realize that could open him up to discrimination cases?” ~ Conscious_Ad_9785
OP wanted to drop a little more information regarding other parties involved.
“The co-worker he forced to be the messenger girl was NOT my practice manager (Nicole). It was our receptionist (Amber).”
“For those asking, the style of scrubs we are required to wear are not made for plus sized people.”
“They are ‘designer scrubs’ and only made for slimmer body types.”
“Our senior vet tech who is a good friend and has worked with Dr. B for 15+ years is a larger woman, and Dr. B allows her to wear a different brand/color/style than everyone else because she also cannot fit in the preferred style of uniform that they require us to wear.”
Reddit had much to say…
“I mean from what she says only one longterm employee doesn’t match, so it may be very likely that they don’t hire people that don’t fit the body type they want for their designer scrubs.”
“I don’t think size discrimination is a protected class in the US, so people can be fatphobic in their hiring all day long (and frequently are).” ~ Turbulent_Volume_851
“NTA- this guy needs to engage his common sense.”
“He presumably has some vague understanding of how pregnancy changes a body.”
“I understand that his patients usually aren’t humans, but an adult man has no excuse for this level of ignorance.” ~ Cha_r_ley
“This could literally be a vignette in a human resources training video.”
“First, he should have taken the issue up with the practice manager.”
“Second, he really shouldn’t have involved a co-worker.”
“Third, his behavior is potentially problematic legally (related to ADA issues).”
“It wouldn’t matter if the cause was obesity (with certain other factors) or pregnancy.”
“Reasonable accommodations are required on the part of the employer.”
“Further, one could argue that the vet was drawing attention to specifics of your medical status – within certain circumstances discussing your medical issues and accommodations with a co-worker is also potentially problematic.”
“So yes, you responded with humor and he was embarrassed. As he should be. NTA.”
“If I was the practice manger, and got wind of the incident, I would be having a very awkward conversation with the owner.” ~ tropicaldiver
“NTA. If he wants everyone in a certain dress code, he can update the dress code/colors to be inclusive of all bodies.”
“This should never have had to happen, if they’d chosen scrubs/colors that accommodate larger sizes then you could have happily adjusted.”
“This is a problem he created when he chose the specific dress code with size restrictions, not something you created by having the body you have post-partum.” ~ KittenSnowMittens
“NTA. You had to womansplain it. I think it the Dr. does owe you and your co-worker an apology for putting you both in that situation.”
“If he really had a concern, he should have asked privately or spoke with your manager who could have set him straight without embarrassing anyone.” ~ S_Kilsek
Well that is a lot to process.
Pregnancy, giving birth and raising a child, all while having a career is stressful on a good day.
Now throw in wardrobe issues and weight, it all sounds near impossible.
It looks as though Reddit has OP’s back on the matter.
Hopefully she and the Doc can come to an understanding.