When visiting another person’s house it’s customary to follow their requests.
Simply put…
People like their stuff.
When stuff is broken, people get made.
And then chaos erupts.
Case in point…
Redditor Fickle-Life-9867 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for making my SIL feel like sh*t about her weight?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I, 35 F[emale] and my S[ister] I[n] L[aw] is 46 F.”
“I have 3 children, the oldest being 16 M[ale].”
“For my birthday last week my son went out and bought me this swinging hammock chair that I had been wanting for 2 years.”
“And it cost him quite a bit of his saved money.”
“Which I fully intend to put back in to his bank account so he can continue saving.”
“He was so excited to see me open this gift and couldn’t wait to help me set it up.”
“I told him he shouldn’t have.”
“That it was a lot of money and his response was ‘You never get anything nice. I wanted you to have it.'”
“And it was true.”
“I usually don’t get anything for my birthday or Christmases outside of Tupperware or soaps.”
“So it might sound stupid but I have cherished this swing ever since he got it for me, especially where I finally have something nice that’s mine.”
“My SIL comes over once a week to see all of us and she immediately headed straight for my swing (which my son hooked up on our deck).”
“I told her to please not sit on it and she said ‘Is there a weight limit?'”
“So I told her yes, 250lbs and I even showed her the box to confirm.”
‘She was not upset about this.”
‘She just said ‘That’s a bummer, they need to make something capable of holding us big girls.'”
“I simply agreed with her and went about my business.”
“At this point my husband shows up from work.”
“When I went inside to grab us some drinks, her and my husband are talking on the porch and not even 5 minutes later I hear a loud crash and my husband say ‘Fuck, are you alright?'”
“I go out and sure enough she had sat in my swing and the crochet netting around the hook snapped on one side, causing her to fall right on her a**.”
“She is sitting there laughing, gets up and says ‘I guess I need to learn to listen.'”
“So I lost it.”
“As I said above, I literally never get anything nice. Never.”
“This is the one thing that I had that was mine and it didn’t even take someone a freaking week before they ruined it for me.”
‘So I said ‘I literally just f**king told you not even 20 minutes ago that it would not hold you and to please not f**king sit in it.'”
“She makes some comment about ‘Usually the weight limit is a lie. I thought it would hold.'”
“So I said ‘The weight limit probably would have held if you were only 50lbs heavier than it, not 150.'”
“She is 420ish lbs because she is one of those girls who eat food on camera for money and she absolutely loves her weight.”
“But regardless, instead of apologizing or offering to compensate me for my destroyed item, she has resorted to saying I’m a sh*t bag for making her feel like her weight is a problem.”
“And my husband is on her side.”
“‘It’s just a f**king swing.'”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA tell your husband that he can buy you a new one because if it’s ‘just a f**king swing.'” ~ Apprehensive-You2885
“Yep. OP is NTA.”
“Not only did she disregard what you said but she laughed about it and didn’t apologize!”
“She definitely owes you an apology as well as your husband.” ~ daveescaped
“That was my take too.”
“I wish my 16 son was that concerned to get me something nice to show his appreciation for all the things I do that go without Thanks.”
“I am sure she has talked about wanting this swing a lot.”
“She probably sits in the model every time they go to home depot and says ‘husband wouldn’t it be nice to have a swing on the porch?'”
“The husband is the AH and so is the SIL.” ~ just_4_looks
“This story breaks my heart for the son.”
“We’re talking a teenage boy here, the group of people typically the most notorious for lacking emotional awareness, lol.”
“I’m willing to bet this is a very sweet, empathetic, emotionally intelligent boy and I’m just imagining the things he’s going to feel about this.”
“Anger at what his aunt did, both for himself as he bought the gift and his mother because she loved it.”
“Sadness that something he put a lot into, something his mom was thrilled about, was destroyed.”
“And I’d bet even some guilt about fighting now happening within his family over something he brought into the home.”
“I may very well be projecting though cuz I know these are thoughts and feelings my sensitive a** would go through.”
“Hard NTA for the OP here.”
“SIL is aware of her weight, actively engages in an activity that she’s aware increases her weight, is said to love her weight.”
“So it’s not like it’s even a sensitive subject from the sounds of it.”
“OP made her aware it would be an issue for the chair, SIL ignored her, and then had the freaking audacity to laugh about it.”
“Just so damn sad and a**holey.”
“As a mom who doesn’t ask for much and avoids spending a lot on myself or having a lot spent on me.”
“It saddens me that something special, both the object and the moment, was ruined by selfishness.”
“ETA: Additionally, u/Fickle-Life-9867, I just want to say it sounds like you’re raising a really great young man.” ~ firefly183
“I’m a heavy girl and I am SO f**king careful about what I sit on.”
“If there’s any chance that it might not hold me then I don’t go anywhere close to it.”
“SIL has every right to be fine with her weight, but she does NOT have the right to casually destroy the possessions of others and then get shocked when they’re angry.” ~ ScroochDown
“NTA 10000% this!!”
“As another heavy girl, I also agree.”
“I’ve lost over 100lbs in the past 2 years and I’m still overly cautious.”
“I’m def still a big girl lol – I was originally OPs SIL weight AND I would have not even asked to use the hammock.”
“I love hammocks and I’m almost to a weight I can sit in one 🙂 30lbs to go.” ~ Round-Performance-70
“Big Girl here!!!”
“She knew better and owe OP an apology and a new swing.”
“I can’t imagine how her son will feel when he sees it.”
‘There are certain things big girls just know to stay away from – plastic lawn chairs, shaking chairs in other folks home.”
“And anything that is secured like this swing was.”:
“OP is NTA.” ~ Downtown-Hour-3960
“For real. I don’t know how she didn’t already feel like shit about her weight after breaking it in the first place.”
“Instead she just laughs about it?”
“I would feel like the bag of sh*t immediately if I were her.”
“NTA. OP’s husband definitely should have been on her side.” ~ SWowwT*ttybang
“NTA OP. Your husband sounds like a sh*thead just like his sister.”
“Must run in the family.”
“Demand they replace your swing or never get either of them a Birthday or Christmas gift.”
“If I was your son I would be pissed that all the money I spent was ruined so soon after getting that swing for you.” ~ johndb83
“I hate this.”
“My mom always complained that her nice things always got ruined.”
“But would put glass vases or other very breakable things in the reach of my rowdy younger siblings, once they got older it was no big deal.”
“She’d yell at us and we’d get irritated because it was an accident and she put it in a bad place.”
“Now she has nice things that don’t get ruined and we get her nice things for gifts.”
“If it had been like that, a true accident id say N.A.H.”
“But as you told her not to touch it, it was not an accident she sat on it, etc.”
“I’d say NTA and that she and your husband are.”
They need to replace this nice gift your son got you, this just makes me so mad for you. I’m sorry.” ~ ijustcantwithit
“NTA. Your SIL needs to compensate you for it.”
“As well as apologize.”
“She is heavy. She knows it.”
“She deliberately sat in your swing even though she knew the weight limit was lower than her weight.”
“As far as I’m concerned, she has pretty much broken it intentionally.”
“Also, any decent person gets embarrassed when they break something that doesn’t belong to them, no matter how it happens.”
“Especially if the owner gets upset about it.”
“Instead she is playing the ‘you fat-shamed me’ card to get out of the situation.” ~ ceeceetop
Well OP, Reddit feels your pain.
In the end, your house, your property, your rules.
Hopefully everyone can sit down and work through this amicably.