One would like to think that everyone has a family who will always love and support them, and will always be there for them.
But that sadly isn’t always the case.
As some people sadly never have the full support of their family, becoming estranged at shockingly early ages.
The daughter of Redditor mommabear543 had a friend who was in that unfortunate situation.
As such, the original poster (OP) felt it was only right to welcome her into her home, helping her finish high school.
But when the young girl’s parents caught wind of the help the OP was providing their daughter, they were anything but pleased.
Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for hosting a fundraiser bluntly saying that it was for a teenager who’s parents left her homeless? Her parents are furious.”
The OP explained how their daughter’s friend wanted to thank them and their family for their generosity, which ended up putting negative attention back on her parents, much to their outrage.
“My youngest daughter is a senior in high school.”
“One of her best friends, Lily, just turned 18 as the school year was starting, and her parents kicked her out of the house that same day.”
“My daughter told me she was sleeping on different friends couches and talking about dropping out to work a job.”
“So my family took her in so she could finish school.”
“I just can’t imagine a parent kicking their kid out like that.”
“So, after we did that, my daughter and Lily decided to have a community barbecue / bake sale to fundraise for some money to cover food and housing expenses.”
“It wasn’t anything I ever asked for but the girls wanted to do something to contribute for groceries and bills.’
‘The girls made flyers and little promos for social media and they were pretty straightforward about what was going on.”
“They said ‘Community barbecue / Fundraiser for Lily” and a note from Lily saying:
“‘As you may know, my parents kicked me out of the house and cut off any financial support on my 18th birthday, leaving me homeless with no money or car’.”
“‘The “Smiths” gave me a home, expecting nothing in return except that I stay in school and graduate’.”
“‘I wanted to do something to give back and pay my own way!'”
“Anyway, I shared that on social media and so did the girls and a lot of their friends at school.”
“The barbecue was a huge success, almost all of our neighbors came by, and so many kids from my daughters school, and a lot of our family and family friends.”
“The girls ended up raising several thousand dollars which I ended up putting in an education fund for Lily, where I’m also putting stuff like the cash she gives me from her job ‘for groceries’ and stuff like that.”
“I’m planning on surprising her with it closer to graduation.”
“Anyway, Lily’s ‘parents’ are irate, they saw that I posted the flyer on the community Facebook page and most everyone in town saw it.”
“I got a call from her dad screaming into the phone at me for ‘slandering’ their family online.”
“Which I felt like was such bullsh*t.”
“I told him to either buck up and act like a parent ought to, or lose my number.’
“He started yelling on the phone again so I hung up and blocked his number.”
‘Then I got a bunch of calls from another number.”
“it was Lily’s mom, getting angry at me about how ‘I don’t know what she and her husband have been through, and it was trashy of me to be begging the whole town for money for myself and acting like it was their fault’.”
“I was like ‘Well, it was your fault?’ and she got so angry and said that she and her husband had given their daughter ‘everything’ and she was ‘ungrateful’, which I feel is BS because they ain’t even giving her a roof over her head.’
“AITA for letting my daughter and her friend who was kicked out at 18 host a fundraiser that was very blunt that it was to raise money after her family kicked her out?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP did absolutely nothing wrong regarding the barbecue, and was not at all the a**hole.
Everyone agreed that Lily’s parents were just humiliated for their behavior being exposed, and that the OP went above and beyond in helping Lily finish school and get on her feet.
“They’re just annoyed they’ve been called out on their sh*tty behavior and now everyone knows about their crappy parenting.”
“They’re ashamed and angry that they’ve been exposed but they’re putting the blame on you instead of reflecting on their own issues.”- Amdissa
“Imagine kicking your high schooler out of the house and then getting upset at people trying to help her out.”- bokatan778
‘Frankly, that’s just a shitty thing for a parent to do.”
‘If they didn’t want to get slandered, maybe don’t kick your child out the instant they become an adult?”- Frightfurs_Unleashed
“Apparently the rest of the town thinks what you did was fine too.”
“Proud of you for helping out your daughter’s friend in such a generous way.”- DisneyBuckeye
“Even if Lily had been lighting fires & turning tricks in the basement her folks might have expected the larger community to view them as the parents who kicked their daughter out of their home & rendered her homeless.”
“Because that is what they did.”
“If Lily’s giving you cash from her job for groceries & said job isn’t dealing methamphetamine than that’s a clear indication she isn’t the teen from hell.”
“No doubt her family had issues, but they had no business carrying on in your face b/c you picked up the slack.”
“They ought to have been grateful that Lily was at least safe & able to finish school.”
“That their principle concern was their own image in the community says volumes here.”-Justafukingegg
“There is a reason that some countries don’t allow parents to just stop being responsible, at least financially’ for their kids.”
“If Lily was especially challenging like being reckless or outright dangerous for siblings or her parents, I might understand throwing her out, but not without any support.”- KMN208
‘Anyone, with some exceptions, who kicks their kids out at 18 should be publicly shamed and shown who they are.’
” My wife was kicked out at 18 and struggled to finish school and work so she could live.”
“That sh8t ain’t easy and good for you for helping your daughters friend.”- Cybermagetx
“If you are in the USA, CPS should have been called.”
“While she is legally an adult at 18, typically if the 18 year-old is still in high school because they were born earlier in the time frame, the parents are responsible for the person.”- holisarcasm
“Honestly, you are a hero and every member of your family is a hero, too.”- Bora_E
“Not sure if this has been mentioned, but in many states if a student is homeless and in a public school, this needs to be reported to the school because there are programs/money/agencies that are obligated to step in for homeless students.”
“Once it’s reported the admin has 30 days to get the ball rolling.”- jatgmsw96
“The only arseholes are Lily’s parents.”
“Kudos on stepping up for this girl.”- nikkesen
“They’re embarrassed to be called out because they know what they did is despicable.”-NigelThotberry
“Either they can stand behind their decision publicly or they shouldn’t have made it in the first place.”- EmpressJainaSolo
“At all but please do update about Lily’s reaction to the college fund.”
“You are a true blessing.”- Accomplished_Mix3822
“It’s not slander because it’s true. It’s verifiably true.”
“They don’t even seem to be arguing that they did not kick out their 18-year-old daughter.”
“Lily lives with you.”
“You know her.”
“So you can very much see what they were living with.”
“It’s highly unlikely that someone you see now as lovely was abusive, drug-addicted, thieving, or otherwise someone that needed to be thrown out of the house for any protective or defensible reason.”
“Even if Lily was a hard-headed obnoxious teenager, that doesn’t excuse her parents’ behavior.”
“The most common reasons are ideological, including ‘I was on my own at that age and she should be too’ and anti-LGBT issues.”
“Basically, no empathy for their own child.”
“They deserve to be called out publicly.”
“If they have a defense, they can say what it is.”
“Tell the truth.”-Tangerine_Bouquet
The OP returned to thank everyone who took the time to respond, and expressed how they would likely follow through with their advice in regards to Lily’s future.
“I wanted to give a massive thank you for everyone in the comments who gave us advice, whether it’s legal advice, resources for getting financial assistance for education, school or community resources, etc.”
“There’s so much I’m planning on following up on now, especially the education stuff!”
“I’m kinda overwhelmed by the response so I haven’t replied to each of you individually but I’ve been reading every comment and I’m so grateful for the advice!”
It’s hard to imagine why Lily’s parents felt it necessary to throw her out of the house.
Particularly after the incredible character she displayed in her efforts to thank the OP and her family.
Here’s hoping that she’ll have a very happy future.