It’s always exciting to begin planning a vacation.
But the excitement often dips considerably when the all too important issue of budget comes into play.
After crunching numbers, one might see all the desired restaurants, activities, and souvenirs one hoped to partake in on their trip disappear one by one.
Unless you are able to economize.
Redditor CompetitionSad4027 thought they found a solution as to how to stay on a relatively tight budget for their family’s upcoming vacation.
That is, until their partner expressed their objections to this solution.
Wondering if this idea was as bad as their partner suggested it was, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Would I Be the A**Hole” (WIBTA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA if I insisted that my two teens share 1 hotel room with my partner and me?”
The OP shared how their budget for an upcoming family vacation was tight and accommodations were limited, but there was a way to work around this problem.
“We have an upcoming vacation, and we are trying to book our hotel stay.”
“In our group there is my partner, me, our 14 year old son, and our 15 year old daughter.”
“Funds are manageable.”
“We have a budget that we really need to stick to overall, but there is some discretion in how we spend it.”
“There are very few hotels in this area, just 1 midrange chain hotel that is nearby.”
“Cheaper, but kind of ancient and grungy, alternatives are much further out.”
“We can squeeze into one room at the midrange hotel, assuming we all double up.”
“We have done this in the past when they were younger, and the configurations vary, by gender, by age, by cuddling preferences, etc.”
“But it has been a very long time since we have been on vacation.”
The OP’s partner, however, was not on board with this plan, potentially putting the whole trip in jeopardy.
“My partner is adamant that we need two rooms.”
“They argue that the kids are old enough that sharing beds anymore is ‘weird’.”
“This is how they were raised, after a certain point, they no longer shared a bed with their sibling.”
“But to do this it would significantly cut into our ability to afford fun things to do, or fun places to eat.”
“However, I grew up in a lower-income family.”
“The rare occasions we did travel, we always shared one room, for the 5 of us!”
“This was just the norm for us, and I just don’t really understand the importance that my partner places on each person having their own bed for such a short period of time.”
“We are now fighting about this issue, and I’m nearly ready to call the whole thing off at this point.”
“We are both really stubborn, so I’m asking, AITA for wanting the kids to share one room with us?”
“Is this really as indecent as my partner believes?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for pushing that their family share a room to save money on their vacation, though many did also sympathize with their partner’s hesitations.
Everyone was for the most part, in agreement, that the OP and their family should all have a discussion, and that ultimately the children should have the final say as to whether or not they’re comfortable with this plan.
“I would call a family meeting and enjoy this together.”
“Explain to the kids the budget situation, the options and the consequences each would have on the trip and let them decide along with you.”
“1 – talk to your kids and find out what they think.”
“Do NOT force them to sleep together.”
“2 – swap bed assignments, mom daughter and dad son.”
“3 – get a cot.”
“Almost ALL hotels have a cot option.”
“4 – Look for airbnb which often is cheaper when you are looking for more than 2 people.”
“5 – Get the second room.”
“Everyone will probably enjoy the entire vacation more if they have their own beds/spaces.”
“So forgo a dinner here and there to budget for the extra room.”
“Where you stay IS part of the vacation as well.”- tinny36
“If you don’t talk to the kids about it, you’re an AH.”
“If they’re fine with it, maybe not.”
“That being said, do you have an air mattress you can bring?”
“The last time my wife and I travelled with both of our sons and ended up in one room, we also brought an air mattress and bedding.”
“That way, each kid had their own private surface to sleep on.”
“We’ve also done this when it was my wife and I and one kid so that we had more room options in case only single bed rooms were available.”-virtualchoirboy
“The way you grew up is fine.”
“Unless someone involved has special needs or something, there’s no reason to separate.”
“Also, it’s not weird for siblings to share a bed.”
“Why is your partner going out of their way to make it weird?”
“THAT is the most concerning part for me.”
“That being said you and your partner do need to reach consensus on this issue.”
“You might even consider inviting your teenagers to be have a say in the decision.”- cfb362
“It’s not going to kill them to be in the same room and they’ve told you they don’t care.”
“NTA and have fun!”-babylimes
“In my family and culture teen siblings sharing a bed is totally normal.”
“But, why not let them decide?”
“Share a bed vs miss out on other fun things to do?”
“Maybe the hotel has a rolling cot or couch bed?”- the_glass_gecko
“Just for safety reasons alone, I wouldn’t want my kids in a separate room from me in a 5 star hotel much less where you’re going.”
“They can suck it up for a night.”
“They’re inappropriate for suggesting sleeping in the same bed is inappropriate.”
“Imagine what they would think about an RV or a tent LOL.”- Wild_Candle9522
“Get a couple of blow up mattresses or cots.”
“Or everyone can take turns sleeping on the floor.”
“If it is like my family vacations over the years, everyone will only be in the hotel room to sleep.”-Illustrrous_Ad5023
A few felt that the OP’s partner was badly over reacting to the OP’s plan, and was making the situation more uncomfortable than necessary.
“NTA your kids don’t care, your partner is being weird and sexualizing two siblings sharing a sleeping spot.”
“Your partner is being creepy.”-gabby0197
“It’s only weird if your partner makes it weird.”
“They sound like a snob that doesn’t have the money to back it up, aka, beggars can’t be choosers, and champagne tastes on a beer budget.”
“As others have suggested, cot or air mattress should work.”
“What do the kids think?”
“You can lay out the options for them and see what they want.”-TrollopMcGillicutty
“Sounds like your [partner] and you have very different estimates on what standard of living you guys can afford.”
“If the kids are okay with it, sounds like it should be more than fine!”
“Even so much more fun to have everyone together.”
“Most hotels don’t expect 4-person families to get separate rooms, that’s why those hotels allow 4 people into two-bed rooms.”
“It’s not like they’re doing that to serve couples traveling together who would probably rather have their own rooms hahaha.”- L4L-MAA
There were a few who did sympathize with the OP’s partner however, who wondered if they wanted two rooms for reasons other than not wanting their kids to share a bed.
“Maybe your partner wants to have a bit of adult vacation time with you.”
“Would be very awkward with two teenagers.”
“They may remember the times when the kids were small and you two were unable to have any private time.”
“Now that the kids are older you can.”-True_Information_636.
“My family always travelled in one hotel room if we couldn’t camp, and there were seven of us so at least two people always had to sleep on the floor.”
“But I have grown to understand that traveling is more fun with a bit of space, and more than one bathroom.”
“Have you considered that perhaps your partner wants the kids to sleep in another room so that you guys can have some ‘alone time’?”
“It seems like the kids don’t care so maybe that is playing a role.”-Redpointgirl
It’s understandable why the OP is pushing to share a room, as they likely don’t want money to be an issue on their vacation.
But on the flip side, they might want to consider the adverse effect that all four of them cramped into one room might have on their vacation as well.
It seems that a simple solution to this conundrum won’t be hard to find with a civil conversation, which hopefully the OP and their partner will come to realize.