Not everybody in the neighborhood gets an invite to every party.
That may sting some people a bit.
But, it’s also a part of life.
That may be a good early life lesson for children.
Some parents seem to miss that memo.
Redditor Brilliant_Sound3258 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not inviting the neighbors to our daughter’s bday party and then awkwardly kicking them out?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi. Yesterday was my daughter’s 8th birthday and we did a princess-themed party.”
“The only people invited were family or family friends.”
“My relationship with my neighbors is meh.”
“We wave if we see them but otherwise we don’t talk to each other or anything really.”
“During my daughter’s birthday party, held in our yard that is semi-fenced, I started to bring out the cupcakes for the kids.”
“When handing them out I noticed that 2 kids were definitely not invited because they weren’t my nieces/nephews or of a family friend.”
“I then realized they were my neighbor’s kids.”
“I paused handing out cupcakes to ask why they were here and one of the kids just shrugged and said, ‘My mommy said I could go.'”
“I told them it was inappropriate to just come here.”
“My husband escorted them back to their parent’s house.”
“All the neighbor’s houses are decently spaced so it’s not necessarily dangerous but we felt better if someone walked with the kids.”
“Later on, I think after we did the whole cake cutting, our neighbors approached again.”
“This time it was both parents and the kids.”
“I asked what they were doing and they looked confused, saying they were joining the party.”
“I was a little agitated now and sternly said they were not invited, that this was a birthday party for my daughter, and family/family friends were invited.”
“It was awkward as they left and the kids kept whining as they did.”
“The next day, today, I got a handwritten letter in my mailbox about how I treated the neighbors rudely and it was expected to share community events.”
“Was I too rude/harsh?”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“So your entitled neighbors regard a private party as a ‘community event?'”
“Fortunately, you are not obligated to share their delusions.”
“NTA, but you should probably put up security cameras.”
“And a note in their mailbox explaining the difference between ‘community events’ and private parties would be entirely appropriate.” ~ PingPongProfessor
“I agree with the security cameras. NTA.”
“First off, OP it’s your daughter’s birthday party, not a neighborhood block party.”
“You invited who you wanted to invite, end of story.”
“Your neighbors showing up uninvited and expecting to join in? That’s just plain rude.’
“Sure, maybe you could have handled the situation with a bit more grace, but come on, you were caught off guard.”
“You had every right to assert your boundaries and make it clear that this was a private event.”
“As for that letter in your mailbox, screw it.”
“You don’t owe your neighbors anything.”
‘They’re the ones who overstepped their bounds, not you.”
“So don’t waste any more energy worrying about it.”
“Next year just focus on enjoying your daughter’s special day with the people who were actually invited.” ~ MyCouchPulzOut_IDont
“Exactly this. Their delusions that a child’s birthday party on private property is a community event is their issue to sort out.”
“They were the rude ones for first sending their kids over uninvited and then bringing them back over again.”
“Do these crazy neighbors invite everyone over in the neighborhood if they have company or guests over for any reason?”
“I highly doubt they follow their own logic on this subject.”
“Which makes them AH in addition to delusional and rude.”
“You are NTA.” ~ Maleficent_Ad407
“You’d be encouraging their behavior of crossing boundaries, and allowing it even one time will exacerbate the problem.”
“OP did the right thing from the get-go.”
“Their parents are unable to explain to their kids it’s a party they cannot attend is NOT OP’s problem.”
“OP is NTA.” ~ nicasreddit
“I’d go one step further and to the security/video system (and if OP owns her home rather than renting) I would get a survey done and completely fence the yard—5 feet high if allowed by the zoning laws.”
“Problem solved for the neighbors and kids being tempted by a party.”
“And make a pretty sign that in the future you can hang on your gate that says: private party.”
“NTA… but I agree with the person who said you could have handled it more gracefully.”
“I would have told the neighbors that you only had enough for those INVITED to the party.”
“And I’ll add: who TF comes back over to confront someone when their kids are brought back from a private party they were sent to without an invitation??”
“And then leaves a snotty note in someone’s mailbox? ~ ohemgee0309
“NTA. Start as you mean to go on.”
“It wouldn’t have been a one-off, it would have been confirmation of their weird thinking that they are automatically welcome at any event you hold in your yard.”
“You handled it correctly.”
“They weren’t invited and them living nearby doesn’t mean they get to attend any neighborhood party or barbecue they can see from the street.” ~ kurokomainu
“Yeah, this is genuinely bizarre behavior.”
“My yard is pretty open (no fence/shrubbery yet), so neighbors can just stop in as they like.”
“We have great neighbors we genuinely like and will explicitly wave them over/invite them to hang out.”
“Because A) they wait for an invite…”
“B) They don’t crash the party; they just say their hellos, have a drink if offered, and then scoot.”
“They have not once not ever crashed a private birthday party.”
“OP is NTA.”
“These neighbors are unhinged.” ~ squishpitcher
“NTA. In my own experience, when children who live directly next door to each other aren’t friends, there are generally good reasons, so I imagine there’s just cause as to why these two were not invited.”
“Regardless, for parents to just send their kids along to someone else’s yard to join in on an event is not only awful adulting but also awful parenting.” ~ BrewertonFats
“As a little kid, I showed up at so many BBQs.”
“I would smell yummy food, so I would just go in the yard.”
“My mom found out later and was mortified.”
“The families usually fed me.”
“My mom figured it out because I was never hungry on nice sunny weekends.”
“She ended up having a huge BBQ to thank everyone for feeding her little gatecrasher, lol.”
“I think she finally got through to me that I was rude.”
“I would never send my kids over to a private event.”
“NTA at all.” ~ 19gweri75
“NTA. Neighbors who think they can just barge in on your property without being invited need to be told otherwise.”
“A community event is one where you invite everyone.”
“This wasn’t that.”
“Feel free to ignore the letter and carry on as usually do.”
“If they felt awkward or embarrassed, they have no one to blame but themselves.” ~ roxywalker
“NTA at all.”
“Your child’s birthday party isn’t a ‘community event’ unless you decide to make it one.”
“You are perfectly within your rights to hold a private party on your private property without including your wildly entitled neighbors.” ~ Consistent-Leopard71
“NTA. You should’ve asked that if they felt they should’ve been invited to what they deem a ‘community event’… where was your daughter’s gift?”
“It was a birthday party, after all.”
“No gift, no cake. If you see them grilling outside, go help yourself to whatever is on the grill.” ~ shadyzeta579
“If you’re in the US, they committed a federal crime by placing the note in your mailbox.”
“There’s a reason ads and flyers get stuck to the outside—if they aren’t mailed to you by USPS, they don’t go in the mailbox.”
“Your neighbors are quite entitled and incredibly rude to force their presence upon you.”
“They are even more rude to do so after you explicitly returned their children to them. NTA.” ~ Strange_Ad_5863
“NTA. You have every right to decide who attends your private events, especially when it’s something as personal as your daughter’s birthday party.”
“It’s understandable that you were taken aback by your neighbors’ assumption that they could join without an invitation.”
“While it’s nice to have a community feel, there’s a clear line between public events and private gatherings, and your daughter’s party falls into the latter category.”
“It was considerate of your husband to escort the children back safely, showing that your concern wasn’t with them personally but with the situation’s appropriateness.”
“Your response to the parents might have felt harsh in the moment, but it was a necessary boundary to assert.”
“Perhaps there’s a way to communicate with the neighbors about this misunderstanding to clear the air, but you’re not in the wrong for wanting your daughter’s birthday to be just as you planned it.” ~ bluffingpost
“NTA It’s really weird of them to just assume that a party in your yard is a community event.”
“Even weirder to come back after their kids have already been escorted back home once.” ~ Humble_Ad_8822
“NTA. It also sounds like you need to go from ‘semi-fenced’ to fully fenced.” ~ lisep1969
“Man, those neighbors have blazing ba**s of audacity!”
“To show up not once but twice and deem OP the rude person! NTA.” ~ MizPeachyKeen
Well, OP, Reddit is with you. Your property, your rules.
People don’t just get to enter your space without an invitation.