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Parent Stirs Drama After They Stop Paying Daughter’s Tuition Because She Lied About Her Major

Pablo Benitez Lope / EyeEm/Getty Images

Most parents want nothing more than for their children to be happy.

And this means they will support them as they follow their dreams, even if this might not lead down the most lucrative career path.

However, there are some parents who want their children to be successful, and will thus pressure them into taking jobs which, though financially lucrative, might not necessarily make them happy.

Redditor Lopsided_Recover109 was among those parents, and was furious to learn that their daughter was not majoring in the subject she had previously said she would.

This resulted in the original poster (OP) taking drastic measures, which put them at odds with their daughter and wife.

Concerned they may have gone a step too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for refusing to pay my daughter’s tuition after she lied about her major?”

The OP first shared their relief that after expressing interest in a less than stable profession, she had instead chosen a more potentially lucrative major.

“I’ll keep this short.”

“My daughter, who is 19, told me she was going to college to major in computer science.”

“I was ecstatic about this because she’s been set on majoring in illustration.”

“For years I’ve been trying to talk her out of it.”

“I know she loves illustration but it is extremely hard to get a steady job out of that.”

“I wanted her to do something she could be successful in.”

“I want her to have a wider range of opportunities.”

However, the OP eventually discovered that their daughter had changed her mind, and felt there was only one consequence for her actions.

“As it turns out, she lied to me.”

“She’s majoring in illustration.”

“She got some mail about some art exhibition at her school.”

“I thought nothing of it at first because I knew she was a computer science major.”

“After looking into it a bit more, I found out her work was chosen to be displayed in the exhibition.”

“I was furious.”

“I’ve spent tens of thousands of hard earned money for computer science.”

“That’s what we agreed on.”

“I told her she can do what she wants but I will not support her.”

“She can pay for it herself or get her mother to pay.”

“Or she could begin to pay me back for the money she stole from me, interest free.”

“My wife said I’m being unreasonable, that’s she’s only 19 and asking her to pay for her own tuition is asking too much of her.”

“I didn’t think it was as I agreed to pay for her to study computer science, nothing else.”

“I was also giving her a chance to make what she did right.”

“I was deceived and my money was going towards something I had no say in.”

“Now my wife and daughter are upset with me.”

“I’m starting to reflect and think maybe I could’ve been nicer about the situation.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The OP received no support from the Reddit community, who unanimously agreed that they were the a**hole for rescinding their daughter’s tuition.

Everyone was horrified by the OP’s lack of support for their daughter, particularly the fact that they didn’t seem remotely proud that her work was chosen for an exhibition.

“OP this is heartbreaking and I hope this post opens your eyes a bit.”


“Former advisor who helped students find their best-fit major here.”

“You can no more pick your kid’s major than you can choose whom they date and then marry.”

“Sure, maybe her life would be easier with a rich partner, but her heart belongs to illustration.”

“A longstanding interest is unlikely to change.”

“She’s been dating; she’s ready to marry this career path.”

“You would’ve wasted your money paying for a degree she didn’t want.”

“If she didn’t want to study it for four years, what makes you think she wants to do it all day, every day, for the rest of her life?”

“Stastically, she’d almost certainly have dropped out or changed paths within five years.”

“I appreciate you want to set your kid up for success.”

“I get it.”

“If she doesn’t find a job, she won’t curl up in fetal position and cry.”

“She’ll keep looking, and make her way, by and by, just like all the other adults.”

“Especially if she has support.”

“Either way, she isn’t going to be a computer engineer.”

“Let her self-actualize, and don’t offer to pay for the wedding only if you choose a different groom, dude.”

“YTA.”- By_and_by_and_by


“My dad did the same thing to me.”

“Guess what?”

“We don’t talk anymore.”

“Trying to control your daughter is a sure fire way of losing her.”

“Her work is being displayed in an exhibition, if it were my daughter I would be sure to have front row seats.”

“If you keep this up you’re gonna lose your daughter, apologize & start listening to what she wants, what her hopes and dreams are then become her biggest cheerleader.”- Financial-Break-3696


“Firstly, dayum.”

“If I had parents like you I would go NC real quick, talk about critical and unsupportive.”


“Do you KNOW how big that is?”

“It means not only is she pursuing her passion, she’s GOOD at it.”

“I’m also not entirely sure you understand the illustration industry.”

“Stable jobs are the norm in it.”

“One of my friends is an illustrator for Scholastic; he started working for them at age 21 and has been with them ever since, he is now 34.”

“It pays very well and he lives very comfortably, even with 2022 prices.”

“It’s competitive and in high demand right now, not to mention the degree can get her a job not only illustrating, but in graphic design, animation, production design, etc.”

“You effed up, bud.”

“You have a very, VERY slim window to make this right and I suggest you take it, because if you don’t, she’s gone.”- Guardian-Boy


“She lied to you because she knew you’d be judgmental, cruel and unsupportive.”

“What’s wrong with wanting to major in something that she loves?”

“Instead of being happy that her work was chosen to be in an exhibition and celebrating her you were furious.”

“That tells me a lot about you.”

“I’m so over parents that would rather their children be miserable just to please them and stroke their ego than living a happy life that fulfils them.”-CrystalQueen3000

“YTA in every way shape and form.”

“It’s very telling how when you describe the situation you repeatedly make the statements ‘I want’ and ‘I wanted’ when referencing your daughter’s future career.”

“This may be difficult for you to understand but HER choices for HER future are NOT about you.”

“Please try to get over yourself so that perhaps, you can salvage a future relationship with your daughter.”

“As it stands right now you are demonstrating yourself to be incredibly selfish and pompous and your behavior may cause irreparable damage to your relationship with your daughter.”

‘Good luck, I hope you figure it out.”- Jovon35


“‘Me, me, me, I, I, I’.”

“That’s all I got from your post.”

“You are just going to blithely overlook the whole exhibition thing?”

“Your daughter is killing it and the only thing you’re doing is killing your relationship with her and her dreams.”- Rumdiculous


“My son majored in computer graphics and animation.”

“Along the way he learned coding and now makes 6 figures. ‘

“What’s more important are those skills you learn along the way and apply.”

“What’s in the degree is not as important as having A degree.”-me0mio


“There’s a reason she felt she had to lie about her major.”

“Also, why the heck would you want to dictate your daughter’s career anyways?”- Always_Trying01


“You want her to be ‘successful’ but you don’t care about her being happy or feeling like she can be honest with you.”-FormerBeat


“College is for exploring, expanding, and developing oneself intellectually, academically and holistically.”

“Let your daughter find herself, major, and future.”

“You probably have good intentions as a parent, but she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”-creditspread

“YTA and controlling to boot.”

“Something tells me this isn’t the only time you’ve dictated what your daughter should and shouldn’t do.”-TheDrunkScientist


“You can’t force what you consider a ‘reasonable’ career on your daughter.”

“From the sounds of it, you never once thought about what she wants.”

“She is 19, what she does with her life is her choice, not yours.”

“Not to mention how you totally looked past the fact that her work is being displayed in an exhibition.”

“Hundreds of people all across the world work very hard for something like that to NEVER come to fruition.”

“YTA for sure.”-Crazy_Ginger818

It is fairly sad that the OP reacted this way even when their daughter proved her talents as an illustrator.

Maybe attending the exhibition and seeing how talented she is, and how much other’s appreciate her talent, will open their eyes.

Otherwise, the OP’s relationship with their daughter might never fully recover.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.