Redditor ThrowawayRedLobsters has a boyfriend who loves to cook, and has an Instagram dedicated to his culinary creations.
But there’s one thing the Redditor has a problem with about the amateur chef’s cooking practices, and when they confronted him about it, things got pretty heated.
They turned to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not letting my boyfriend (bf) cook in my kitchen since he always throws away the food he makes?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“He posts photos on Instagram all the time of the food he makes. He really likes cooking, but he frequently throws away the food he makes.”
“By that I mean, he’ll buy all these groceries, make a nice meal, post a photo on Instagram, then throw it away if it’s not something he normal likes eating.”
“For example, last week, he got high end steak, did his thing, then threw it away because he doesn’t actually like steak. He just likes cooking a lot and posting photos of it.”
“Today he shows up at my apartment with a live lobster (and I know he doesn’t like lobster) and some other stuff to make Lobster Thermidor.”
“I told him I wasn’t going to let him use my kitchen since he’s just going to waste it. He went back to his apt and did it there anyway.”
“He’s upset with me about not letting him use my kitchen. I told him it’s only because he’s wasting it, but he says it’s not my problem since he pays for it all. Was I in the wrong”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA. This is a problem for your boyfriend to figure out. I don’t know how or why he financially is cool with this and if I was you, I’d consider how this kind of thing will affect a long term relationship on a financial level.” – TemperVOiD
“NTA. It’s your kitchen.”
“Why does he throw the food away? That is incredibly wasteful and it doesn’t even make any sense, he could just give you or someone else the food. One of the joys of cooking is sharing the food you make with others.”
“I would tell him next time to just light some money on fire and post pictures of that. Save him some time and energy with the same outcome” – oregondude79
“NTA. Why tf is he wasting food? That makes me mad. There’s people who would kill for that…”
“And he’s throwing away a high end steak????????? Throw away this guy instead.” – disindiantho
“NTA – personally I’d struggle to be with someone who kills animals for Insta likes (I’m not veggie but I hate the idea of the animal’s death being worth so little that I literally toss it in the bin). But that’s your choice entirely.”
“However, I really just commented to express my admiration for the throwaway username. Well done. 😂✨🎖️” – Fionsomnia
“NTA. You’re not wrong … But if you two don’t see eye to eye on this – i think its very fundamental and considered a core issue… Valuing the things around you and caring what people who see you on insta think .. Are considered core…”
“Do you still wanna be with him? İ’m surprised there are actual people like this… İs he not aware of famine? And food waste? And the disparities between classes? And people who are barely scraping by?”
“He can donate food if he really cares so much about practicing without wanting to gain weight from eating all his creations … All food is valuable… We live in a world of surplus but this doesn’t mean you can throw it into landfills…” – Saratakk
“NTA I’d have the same rule too. That would really bother me. He could at least offer the food to someone else.”
“Maybe he could take it to work the next day and leaving it with post offering it to co-workers, I had a coworker that did that while learning to cook. I’ve gotten disposable food storage containers and fed my homeless neighbors near by, and it was always appreciated.” – CoastalCerulean
“NTA and his behaviour is disgusting. Think of all the people who regularly go hungry, and the people who are actually starving and this loser is regularly wasting food.”
“Tell him to feed someone with the food he makes, and volunteer at a soup kitchen or you’re going to trash him. Why are you with this absolute pustule of a human? 🤮🤮🤮” – bubblewrapstargirl
“NTA. I know it’s a touchy subject and all but for me food is there to be consumed and not wasted especially considering all the starving people in the world.”
“I know we individually can’t cure world hunger however it just leaves a bad feeling in my stomach still when I see things going to waste unnecessarily. Ie: not even eating a bloody mouthful of the food.” – xamleo
“Nta. Food wastage is obscene. That alone would make me look at a partner in a different light. Effing lobster thermador?! Steaks??”
“This is why Instagram needs a ‘report moron’ option.”
“Sorry OP I’m harsh but I came from a humble home with a mindset that food is not too be wasted.” – lawtalkinnguy
“I think NTA. If you’re going to be in a serious relationship and share finances eventually then wasting money like that is an issue. It’s not your problem right now but it will be if you take the next step.”
“Also, wasting food like that is just a but tacky IMO. There are people starving, he could at least arrange for someone to eat it after hes made it rather than posting it on social media for brownie points.” – Paranoia_Pizza
Overall, people remained stumped as to why anyone would choose to waste food when there are those who are less fortunate would be grateful to have food on their plate every day.
Because of this, Redditors sided with OP and suggested she stand her ground and refuse to let him use her kitchen.