Stealing the thunder from a couple getting married at their wedding is a HUGE no-no.
But people still try to do it.
And many brides just will not stand by and take it.
Once a person discovers another is about to usurp their special moment, the gloves come can come off.
And often, it ain’t pretty.
Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Case in point…
Redditor Infinite-Hotel-7837 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
“AITA for blackmailing my brother into not proposing to his girlfriend at my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (F[emale] 27) brother (24) and I were raised in a very traditional Southern Baptist household.”
“I got married two weeks ago, and it went off without a hitch.”
“It was a beautiful ceremony, and the reception was a lot of fun for everyone, I think.”
“The only thing that could have messed it up was my brother.”
“He wanted to ask his girlfriend, Sara (27), to marry him at the reception during his speech welcoming my husband to the family.”
“My dad passed away last year, and I thought it would be good to have my brother do the honors.”
“Thank God he told me his idea beforehand.”
“My brother didn’t know that Sara, who is one of my best friends, had already told me that she was pregnant.”
“My brother is a youth pastor at our church.”
“Sara is the choir director.”
“Everyone looks up to them.”
“I told him that if he had the audacity to try and include himself in my day, the response to his speech would be me toasting his new baby.”
“He was furious that I knew about it.”
“And that I would leverage it against him. I saw red.”
“I said that if he and his girlfriend were willing to go against our beliefs, then I had no problem calling him out.”
“Our fight got loud enough that our mom came in to break it up.”
“I kept my mouth shut despite wanting to blab right there and then.”
“Like I said, my wedding went perfectly.”
“And my brother proposed to his girlfriend privately at a beautiful little spot in the hotel grounds after we left the reception.”
“Sara thanked me for my discretion and for convincing my dumba** brother not to try and horn in on my day.”
“When I got back from my honeymoon, we all had dinner with my mom.”
“And my brother is still salty about the situation, though.”
“When I spoke with him to congratulate him on his engagement, he said I was petty to keep him and Sara from having a moment in the sun.”
“I said that there were a thousand more appropriate places for him to propose and that he chose well.”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Sara even thanked you for stopping him.”
“He can stay salty.” ~ doggomother
“Perhaps Sara can explain to her baby daddy how totally inappropriate his plans were.”
“Perhaps OP could have rented out some of HER time at HER wedding.”
“She could have given him a price of perhaps 25% to 40% of the cost of the reception for the privilege of taking the spotlight away from OP and her hubby.” ~ PhotoGuy342
“NTA. It’s incredibly tacky to do something that tries to upstage the bride and groom at their wedding.” ~ Here_for_tea_
“Not to mention, most guests don’t want to see that.”
“I know some don’t care, and maybe at this wedding, most of the guests did know the brother and Sara, but at most weddings, at least half to three-fourths don’t know these people.”
“I don’t want to watch strangers, or really anyone propose.”
“I definitely don’t want to see an upset bride, and who paid for the wedding?”
“Because if it was the groom’s family, they didn’t pay so her brother could upstage their kid.” ~ slendermanismydad
“I had a friend who told me she was going to propose to her boyfriend while hanging out the day before my wedding.”
“I got excited and asked how and when.”
“She said, ‘Well I was thinking I’d do it tomorrow at your wedding.'”
“And then we both had a good laugh because it was a joke BECAUSE IT WOULD OBVIOUSLY BE COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE!” ~ dongtouch
“NTA. Yes, and am I the only one who finds any marriage proposal made in public incredibly tacky?” ~ englishoramerican
“I also don’t get him ‘having a moment in the sun.'”
“First, not his wedding.”
“The attention isn’t supposed to be on him anyways.”
“Second, why does he need attention for his proposal?”
“I proposed to my wife on our couch after having a lovely night of making a nice homemade dinner completely on our own.”
“It has never reduced the value of our marriage that our moment was ours alone.”
“Hell, we even got married on my parent’s back porch because COVID disrupted plans we had in place.”
“The goal was to be married, so settling for having only immediate family and my buddy who had just come back from the military was more than enough for us.”
“I’m glad OP got to have her moment to shine, but her brother needs to realize that such moments don’t transfer.”
“It was for making memories about OP’s wedding, not about her brother’s engagement.” ~ LawBird33101
“The baby is going to start showing soon.”
“He’s a hypocritical pastor, and it’s shotgun wedding time.”
“He was hoping to steal her wedding to publicly get his wedding in overdrive.”
“The public nature is to set the narrative and provide cover.”
“Probably something about ‘being surrounded by love and family made me realize what’s really important… family… get married… start a family… blah blah blah.'”
“Then six months later, somehow baby and family magically appear.” ~ HuantedMoose
“NTA-it’s tacky and inappropriate and apparently against his own girlfriend’s wishes.”
“He literally just proposed, he can have his ‘moment’ at his own wedding.” ~ litza5472
“NTA, God I hate people that try to propose at other people’s weddings.”
“The only time that is okay is if it was planned in advance and both bride and groom are fully on board and enthusiastic about sharing their day.”
“Otherwise, do your thing on your own time, and don’t take away someone else’s spotlight.”
“There are 364 other days. You don’t need to propose at someone else’s wedding.”
“I’m glad Sara agreed with you and thanked you for holding your ground.” ~ Just-Ducky1234
“NTA. Also, seems like you have a solid future S[ister] I[n] L[aw].” ~ SomeGuyClickingStuff
“THIS is the real takeaway OP.”
“Your brother’s fiancée appears to be a person with a brain that WORKS, and is capable of recognizing when it’s not her time and letting others have their celebration.”
“But for real, that was absolutely braindead of your brother to think was appropriate at all.”
“From what it sounds like, your brother was kind to see you getting rewarded with ice cream for an outstanding achievement and demanded he has ice cream too and pitched a fit and whined and moaned until your parents gave in and indulged him too.”
“Or replace ice cream with literally anything else, but that’s the kind of childhood behavior this comes off as reflecting.” ~ boojersey13
“NTA. Brother still thinks he was right to propose at your wedding.”
“Without your counter-threat, he definitely would have.”
“The only other thing that could have stopped him would be Sara admitting she knew his plans and telling him if he proposed at the wedding, she’d say no and break up with him.” ~ extinct_diplodocus
“NTA. You never take the spotlight away from the couple on their wedding.”
“The fact that you had to hold this over him for him not to do it, instead of him just respecting your wishes, is telling of his character.” ~ Southern-Fact-5385
“NTA. Your brother is the AH.”
“Who tried to steal someone’s spotlight on their wedding to propose.”
“Tell him not to be cheap and organize his own proposal daaamn.” ~ ilovechips90
“Your brother needs to learn a few things.”
“First he needs to learn to adhere to his deeply held religious beliefs.”
“Then he needs to learn to keep his d*ck to himself.”
“Then he needs to learn that someone else’s (your) wedding day is not his playground.”
“He should feel lucky you didn’t share his ‘happy baby news’ even before he could propose to Sara.”
“NTA, and great job knocking him down a peg.”
“Since he’s still salty, it seems you may have more opportunities to educate him on how to behave. Good luck!” ~ baka-tari
“NTA, why do people always want to have everyone else pay for their big romantic gestures?”
“My sister’s friend was proposed to at my sister’s wedding reception, and she said no and told him to leave, and she may talk to him again when the party’s done.”
“Then she did the tapping on her wine glass that starts everyone tapping on the wine glass, and the newlyweds have to kiss to get the focus back on them.” ~ Giki042
“Your brother was trying to throw around his weight in your family.”
“My cousin is a pastor in the south, and she would murder someone if they tried to do this on my special day.”
“I’m from the Midwest, and she’s southern, but anyone with a brain can recognize what your brother is trying to do.”
“NTA, and I’m glad your wedding was your day.” ~ Full-Arugula-2548
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
It was your day.
You’re allowed to want to keep it that way.
Blackmail is such an ugly word.
You gave an ultimatum.
Congrats to all of you.
Hopefully, your brother can move on with his feelings.