Many pet owners feel that pets are family too.
They rely on their owners for just about everything.
Dogs are especially reliant on loving fur parents.
The responsibility of dog love is immense.
So sometimes sacrifices have to be made.
Redditor helioliolis wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for paying for my dog’s surgery instead of helping my girlfriend’s sister with her rent?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I have a dog that’s on the older side at 9 years old, and a few weeks ago, it lost the use of its back legs.”
“I had to get surgery for him because I was not getting him put down.”
“All in all, it came to £8.5k, all of which I had to pay out of pocket for.”
“This wasn’t a huge problem because I have plenty saved up, and in general, I am well off.”
“Here’s the issue: my G[irl]F[riend]’s sister has been struggling with rent.”
“Apparently, she’s behind by a few months and panicking about being kicked out.”
“When my girlfriend found out what I paid for the surgery, she got really upset with me and said I was selfish.”
“Her words were along the lines of, ‘You’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?’”
“Since then, my girlfriend has been pissed off with me and keeps calling me cheap and selfish for not helping her sister.”
“I feel like I shouldn’t have to suffer for another person’s poor life choices.”
“The reason her sister is in this predicament is that her relationship fell apart, and she’s living in a place she can’t afford.”
“Further to that, I own a 4-bedroom home, and my girlfriend suggested her sister move in with us, but I refused.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Am I the a**hole for refusing to help her sister?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. However, you need to dump your girlfriend, who is determined to make her sister’s poor choices your problem.” ~ MedicinalWalnuts
“Your girlfriend’s sister has people who can help her with her money problems.”
“Your dog has you. NTA.” ~ CousinEdgar
“THIS. Your dog is 100% dependent on you.”
“He can’t go to the vet on his own, can’t work to pay his own bills, can’t even ask someone else for help if you don’t come through with the care he needs.”
“GF’s sister is an adult human being, to whom you made zero commitment, and can sort things out for herself.” ~ irate_anatid
“Exactly. My pets are my responsibility.”
“Full stop.”
“I will do what is in their best interests over anything and anyone else.”
“At only 9 years old (yes, considered a ‘senior,’ but not ancient) and in otherwise good health, OP’s dog deserves the best quality of life possible.”
“It’s what most pet owners would do.”
“As others point out, the sister has many possible resources and can get a second job if necessary.”
“No way is OP an AH.”
“But I would certainly be rethinking the relationship.” ~ Wackadoodle-do
“Her attitude towards OP’s dog alone should be a dealbreaker.”
“Pets are family.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my cats, and I would never be in a relationship with someone who didn’t love them like I do. NTA.” ~ Fast-Piccolo-7054
“NTA. Your money, your choice.”
“The dog is your responsibility; her sister isn’t.”
“Your girlfriend trying to guilt you into being her sister’s ATM is a huge red flag.” ~ rkohliny
“NTA, you had a responsibility to provide your dog with the best care possible.”
“I’d get a new girlfriend if I were you.” ~ Trekker6167
“NTA. You are responsible for your dog.”
“You are not responsible for other adults’ decisions, including their rent payments.” ~ nim_opet
“This! Also, ‘You’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?’”
“It’s not just a dog, it’s YOUR DOG… and even if it wasn’t your dog, but a strange rescued dog, it’s YOUR MONEY to do as you please OP!”
“If she is heartbroken about HER sister, SHE can help her with HER money.”
“Also, please, don’t let her move her sister in with you.”
“She is displaying some interesting red flags (not caring about something you love dying, trying to push you to take care of something you shouldn’t, getting mad and keep on complaining when you don’t act as she wants, feeling entitled to say how you should use your money or space), and I can bet you will have a difficult time with them.” ~ NightShadowWolf6
“Drop the girlfriend and enjoy the time you have with your pup, who you will probably need to dedicate more time to due to the illness and old age.” ~ Intelligent_Read_697
“NTA. But holy hell, find a better girlfriend.”
“Happy to spend all of your money and resources with no input from you? Yikes.”
“And you can spend YOUR money on whatever YOU like – it’s always like that for everyone.” ~ your-mom04605
“Ummm, since when is it your responsibility to look after your GF’s sister?”
“She is a big girl and can look after herself.”
“If she can’t pay her rent, she goes back to her parents or finds something she can afford.”
“The fact that you paid for your dog’s surgery has nothing to do with this.”
“It’s irrelevant because it’s not anyone else’s business but yours.” ~ PearGlum1966
“How are her sisters’ living conditions your problem in any way?”
“She’s your girlfriend, not your wife.”
“And even a wife would have to be more considerate when asking for help for her sibling, rather than expecting and demanding it.”
“That’s the bloodiest red flag in a relationship.”
“If I were in your shoes, I’d consider the future carefully. NTA.” ~ Certain-Thought531
“NTA… dogs are better than most people, and they don’t have their own income.”
“My 12-year-old beagle had pneumonia in July, was in an oxygen cage at the emergency vet for almost 48 hours, so I can relate to $$$.”
“You are not responsible for her sister; you are responsible for your dog.” ~ AdAffectionate1766
“You are not responsible for your girlfriend’s sister’s living situation.”
“You are only responsible for yourself and your dog.”
“Heck, you are not even responsible for your girlfriend’s financial situation on top of that.”
“So I would suggest getting a new girlfriend if your current one is trying to get you to pay a stranger’s rent.” ~ StrictShelter971
“NTA! Wow, so YOUR dog required surgery, and fortunately, you were able to afford it to take care of your dog, which is fully your responsibility and your honor since you love your dog and want to continue life with him.”
“That’s wonderful!!”
“I hope he’s recovering well.”
“And your girlfriend is awful enough to make you feel bad about paying for his necessary surgery because her sister can’t afford rent??”
“That is ridiculous, rude, mean, and so lacking in compassion that it’s kind of unhinged.”
“With a reaction that’s out of line and that’s strong, she’s likely going to resent you and your dog, potentially to the dog’s harm.”
“This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me.”
“I mean, thinking that you should prioritize her sisters and subsidize her rent instead of providing the necessary medical care for your companion of nearly a decade???”
“Your girlfriend and her sister are TAs.”
“You are absolutely NTA.”
“That’s some breakup time, not some letting them move into your house time.”
“My goodness, please don’t let them move in and take advantage of you.”
“They’re very selfish, and they aren’t your family.”
“Your dog is.” ~ West-Birthday4475
“NTA, as the owner, it’s your responsibility to pay for your dog’s health.”
“You are not obligated to pay rent to your girlfriend’s sister.”
“When we help someone, they will start to feel that it is our duty to help them.”
“If her sister still doesn’t have the rent next month, your girlfriend will expect you to pay it.” ~ Mysterious-Bag-5283
“NTA. You and your girlfriend are not compatible.”
“I understand that’s her sister, but you have a commitment to take care of your dog.”
“It only has you to rely on.”
“The fact that your GF can’t see that is a huge problem.”
“She puts her sister’s issues over your dog’s life.” ~ keesouth
“I would rethink your relationship with your girlfriend.”
“She seems entitled enough to give your money away, and entitled to your home by wanting to move someone in.”
“What you spent your money on is neither here nor there.”
“It could have been a pet’s surgery, a motorbike, an international vacation, or burned in a pile; it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s your money, and she has no say in it. NTA.” ~ Effective_Rock9477
“NTA. They are.”
“Your dog is more your responsibility than your girlfriend and definitely more than your girlfriend’s sister is.”
“Your dog didn’t choose to need surgery.”
“Your GF’s sister chose (through whatever choices) to wait until it was dire to beg for help.”
“If the GF is so concerned, she can pay her sister’s rent.” ~ Leigeofgoblins
“NTA, the dog can’t go to work and make money to pay for his own surgery.”
“Your girlfriend’s sister can pick up an extra job, budget better, or find a cheaper place to live.”
“Also, she is literally prioritizing someone else’s rent over your dog being able to walk.” ~ Wonderful-Seesaw6214
“NTA. I would tell your GF to go live with her sister so she can help with rent.”
“I see an eviction in her future, and the plan your GF has is to let her sister move in because she’s homeless.”
“Hope your dog is doing better.” ~ Sea-Solution-8038
Reddit is with you, OP.
How dare your girlfriend act like this?
Your dog needs you.
Her sister has family.
It sounds like it could be time for her sister to make some serious life changes.
That is not your responsibility.