People’s diets have long been a divisive in society.
Nobody wants to needs to be shamed about what they eat.
But what if it’s not really shaming?
Should we never talk about one another’s menu choices?
Case in point…
Redditor Vomit_Scented_Candle wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my obese friend she’s projecting when she kept implying I’m anorexic due to my eating habits?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me (20 F[emale]) and my friend (21 F, called Z) are both in Uni (or US college) and rooming together for the last few months.”
“We’ve been getting on pretty well – she’s a really tidy and excessively clean person and vacuums more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“And I drive us both around as she doesn’t have a license.”
“Everything has been pretty okay until she has began to comment on my eating habits.”
“I’m pretty petite and I don’t have much of an appetite.”
“I’ve always been this way and I am simply not a food motivated person.”
“I weigh about 105lbs, and I’m 5’2, but I’ve always weighed this much and my doctor says I’m very healthy.”
“Anyway Z usually doesn’t bring up eating habits but recently she watched me eat half a sandwich then wrap the other half of it up for later.”
“I didn’t even realize she was watching until she said that’s ‘seriously weird’ and ‘disordered’ and that ‘it’s not normal to not be able to finish a sandwich in one sitting.'”
“Well I simply wasn’t hungry anymore and I don’t see the point on continuing to eat when I’m not hungry.”
“I told her this and she shrugged but I could tell it bothered her.”
“A few days later she made a similar comment about me putting half a banana in my oatmeal, I also had mango and raspberries in there so to be honet it didn’t need a full one.”
“And about my drinking Pepsi max instead of regular Pepsi.”
“It culminated in her confronting me and asking if I’m anorexic.”
“Honestly this was shocking to me.”
“I consider myself to have a really good relationship with food.”
“I eat whatever I want and just practice moderation and eat until I’m no longer hungry.”
“It pissed me off because it felt so insulting as I genuinely put so much effort into being healthy to help deal with my actual diagnosed depression.”
“I told her I’m not but that it sounds like she’s projecting and that she has food issues of her own, like a few nights ago when she finished a medium pizza by herself.”
“And that she should worry about her own relationship with food and not worry about mine.”
“She seemed incredibly hurt by this and said she was only worried about me and took the bus to class instead of having me drive us both there.”
“She’s been avoiding me since and I’m wondering if I screwed up. “
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA.”
“Usually I would suggest not commenting on another persons weight or eating habits but since she felt the need to judge you on your perfectly normal meal choices then she kinda brought the comments on herself.” ~ Sweetsmyle
“Exactly- skinny shaming is no different than fat shaming.”
“Her friend saying she’s worried about OP is fine but OP mentioning her friend has an unhealthy relationship with food isn’t.” ~ Important-Pair-3553
“Thank you!! I’m naturally thinner, can eat pretty much anything I want.”
“But DO try to eat healthy for other reasons; just like OP.”
“I HATE nothing more than obese family members who will ask (while chomping away on Mc.D’s),’Do you even eat? You need to eat! Are you anorexic? Etc…’”
“It’s rude! I would NEVER comment on their weight or eating habits.”
“Even though I am seriously concerned as it is severely affecting their health.”
“That shaming goes BOTH ways and people need to stop thinking that because someone is thin (as opposed to overweight) that it’s acceptable!”
“Friend is totally projecting her insecurities about her food issues on OP.” ~ Key-Information8842
“Yes this!”
“I’m a very petite person (4’11 and skinny) and the amount of times I’ve had people, whether it be family members, neighbours, friends or even friends’ family comment on my weight is ridiculous.”
“Like come on.”
“How is poking someone’s stomach and telling them they need to eat more okay?”
“The only people I would allow to say that is my healthcare professional and parents.”
“Skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming.”
“Just because I’m smaller and/or thinner than someone doesn’t make it okay.”
“Neither do ‘justifications’ like ‘they’re thin, they have nothing to be insecure about.'”
“Body shaming is not okay in any shape or form.”
“Sorry for the rant, I’m just tired of hearing this from a lot of people throughout my life.”
“NTA OP!” ~ PrettyRefrigerator83
“Yes, absolutely this.”
“I have two preteen stepdaughters, one chubby and one skinny.”
“Their mother constantly harps on the chubby one about her not eating so much and will force the skinny one to finish her plate.”
“Both of them have a shitty relationship with food as a result.”
“Another thing their mother does is tease the skinny one about being so thin to the point where she is super insecure about how thin she is.”
“Chubby stepdaughter has started mirroring this behavior and bullying her sister about being skinny and how she wishes she could be thinner.”
“I sat both kids down and explained all bodies are different.”
“We are born with the only one we will ever have so you better get used to living in it.’
“Commenting on each others bodies is NOT allowed in our home, I just wish their mother had the same mentality.” ~ educatedvegetable
“I have a friend who is extremely thin and would never think to say something about it to her.”
“I am overweight, have been my entire life.”
“I have had gastric bypass but am still heavier than i should be but nowhere close to where I was.”
“Went to a friend’s house for a holiday meal and later that day he tell me his family asked if I was trying to be ‘ladylike’ and not eat much.”
“I tried to explain that even though I am overweight I have very limited stomach volume.”
“My issue is eating frequently or ‘grazing’ which I am still working on.”
“Everyone in his family are reed thin so thought I was trying to be ‘like them,’ but they all can eat large volumes of food due to different metabolism.”
“I don’t make comments about how much they eat so they shouldn’t make comments about how much I eat.” ~ Lovemyblklab
“I agree OP is NTA because her roommate was making a sh**ty comment and was told to mind their business.”
“But these people replying that skinny shaming is just as terrible as fat shaming is, honestly, absurd.”
“Skinny people are not being systemically discriminated against by society and the medical field like fat people are.”
“To equate the two is incredibly naive and usually only looks at how the individual ‘feels’ (which is valid in both cases) but ignores how that individual is actually treated by society.”
“Skinny folks are treated as healthy and morally good and fat people are treated as unhealthy and making a moral decision to be fat.”
“Fat people die every day, not because of their weight.”
“But because their health is not taken seriously by medical professionals because of a number on a scale.”
“It’s honestly gross to have to read through these comments from folks who just have to share exactly how thin they are and all the ways they have been discriminated against.”
“Which all boil down to people making fairly harmless observations about their appearance and how they should ‘eat more.'”
“While I understand that may hurt their feelings and be annoying.”
“It simply does not compare to the fact that I have to make multiple trips to a doctor to get them to believe me when I say “X” thing is wrong because they think every issue I have with my health is due solely to my weight and should be fixed easily.”
“Re: when I literally needed to get blood work done bc my white blood cells were doing a thing and my doctor kept telling me I should eat salad without dressing.”
“And also, I am overweight, but I am blessed to be healthy.”
“I cannot imagine what fat folks who have chronic illness have to go through just to get adequate healthcare.”
“Fat activists are doing incredible work to make life more equitable for fat people.” ~ RevolutionaryFace706
“NTA at all.”
“It doesn’t sound like you’re anorexic because you’re not.”
“Z is most definitely either projecting or trying to validate her eating habits.”
“You telling her this is just you acknowledging something that’s bothering you and that should be okay in any friendship/relationship.” ~ backsstabbath
Well OP, looks like you maybe making that daily trip to Uni alone for the foreseeable future, and Reddit’s cool with that.
Though some feel you maybe could have used a little more tact, overall, people are in your corner.
Maybe you and roomie can sit down over a meal and read through this piece together.