It doesn’t matter how much we love our significant others, we all need space some time.
Space helps people feel like themselves in the relationship. We all need time to decompress.
Redditor Fartcry5799 encountered an issue with their wife. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for farting every time my wife barges into the bathroom?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Title sounds kind of….ehh but hear me out.”
“My wife and I have been married for 6 years, like any married couple, we share everything, EVERYTHING. However, me being naturally a private person I just don’t like it when someone invades my private space…the bathroom for instance.”
“Let me just say that I take my time when answering nature’s call. I just go in with my phone and do my thing.”
“Recently, my wife started barging in randomly for no good reason. It freaks me out and also makes me feel stressed and anxious because my private space is constantly invaded.”
“I don’t get why she does. She’d barge in whenever I’m in there, takes a look around for a whole minute then slowly walks out.”
“I told her how I felt about this and she brushed me off saying ‘you have nothing to hide, why are you so worried about me walking in randomly?'”
OP decided to take matters into their own hands.
“I’ve had enough and decided I needed a way to keep her out since she has taken off the lock.”
“One thing my wife hates about me is my farting, she absolutely hates the smell and says it’s disgusting so what I started doing is that every time I’m in the bathroom and she barges in.
“I fart…like really loudly and produce a really (according to her) nasty smell.”
“It worked because once she hears the sound she runs out. I thought this was the solution but she picked up on what I was doing and discovered that I was doing it on purpose to keep her out.”
“She started arguing with me about it almost saying I’m banned from farting in the bathroom which is ridiculous.”
“I kept doing it which kept pissing her off, now she isn’t even talking to me saying I’m being a child and an asshole for this behavior.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. Why has she taken off the lock?! Married or not, you’re entitled to your privacy when you are in the bathroom and you shouldn’t have to justify that to anyone. It is not okay for her to feel that level of entitlement. She is your wife, not your owner.” ~ allmenmustdrinktea
“I don’t know. She just took it off without even telling me why. I have to say that she’s bern acting real strange recently.” ~ Fartcry5799
“My husband can fart on command when he’s in a ‘business meeting’ solely due to (what I believe) are gastro issues from food intolerances. He even does it all the time outside the bathroom to scare me – like while we’re in bed watching a scary movie and suddenly there’s a loud and abrupt air-horn-like noise.”
“Also, sadly, this type of behavior from abusive partners is actually quite common. I had many locks removed from doors and bathroom time monitored during an abusive marriage.”
“Society as a whole has done so much better with acknowledging abuse in women and talking about it, now we need to start adding to that conversation about how men are also the victims of abusive relationships and it’s not an insignificant number.” ~ passivelyrepressed
“Agree that it’s completely unreasonable and the wife’s behavior is out of line. Her behavior does, however, indicate some sort of relationship abnormality that needs to be addressed on more than just a surface level.”
“Putting a lock back on the door and telling her to back off is not going to resolve whatever is driving this bonkers behavior in the first place; they need to work together as a couple to figure out why she’s being such an AH.” ~ ginsengtea3
That’s one place we definitely needs privacy.
“Wow, really, wondering what hole you’ve been living in because I have known many multiples of people who could fart on command.”
“Many people who maybe not on command but if they had one close to loaded up, kinda let it rip when they wanted. You really have never met someone who could fart on command?” ~ Bowinja
“I read in another subreddit about a kid who could do it by sucking in air through his butt. He tried doing it in the gym showers and sucked in water instead. He shot explosive diarrhea.” ~ youburyitidigitup
“What red flag on his part? Just curious bc I may have missed something.” ~ willaf88
“Potential cheating by using the phone for so long in the bathroom, texting an affair partner. That is probably what she is worried about and barging in and taking of the lock.”
“Or she didn’t want him masturbating in the bathroom.”
“Only 2 things that make any sense to me.”
“Edit: I am not saying if he was watching porn or masturbating he is an asshole or it is a red flag, just speculating on why she is barging into the bathroom and removed the door.”
“Additionally he should really have a conversation with her about why she removed the lock.” ~ C0smo777
“Two things cross my mind. One you spend 45 minutes ‘pooping’ when really you’re on your phone while she is making dinner, cleaning, feeding kids…. if that’s the case, stop it or give her a 4 hour break on the weekend to do whatever she wants with zero interruptions.”
“2 she does not trust you are doing on your phone. Maybe she thinks you’re cheating or watching porn. I would guess the second, seeing as she wants you to feel caught off guard. NTA.”
“You deserve to have boundaries. She does not get to respond with your request for a reasonable boundary with ‘if you have nothing to hide you wouldn’t need boundaries’ boundaries allow us to feel safe in a relationship, she shouldn’t safe ‘you don’t get to feel safe, because you might be hiding something.'” ~ julesB09
We just need some alone time!