Finding the perfect outfit for a wedding can be stressful.
Nobody wants to upstage the bride and groom.
But people do want to be comfortable and feel fabulous.
It can take time to procure the perfect ensemble.
However, not every perfect choice might not read for the bride and groom.
Redditor Happysappyyappy wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my friend she can’t wear that to my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My friend is out shopping for an outfit for my wedding.”
“She sent me a picture in a long skirt and bralette.”
“I said ‘Oh I love the skirt. What shirt would you wear with it?’”
“And she said ‘That is the shirt, it’s a bralette.’”
“I tried to play it off nicely and say ‘Maybe if it was an outdoor wedding, but it’s all inside the hall, you know what I mean?’”
“And she said ‘I guess’ and that she was still going to buy it anyway and hopefully she’ll find another shirt.”
“I kindly said it wouldn’t be appropriate with the bralette.”
“She’s plus size and very well-endowed, as an also well-endowed girl I know the struggle, but to me, it’s just not formal wear and kinda looks trashy.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Lingerie as regular attire to a wedding is not appropriate.” ~ Willing-Helicopter26
“It’s a style some people like. Your opinion on this isn’t relevant.”
“The point is it’s OP’s wedding, and she gets to decide on the dress code.”
“Friend asked, and OP answered.”
“They are NTA.” ~ Jaded-Ad-443
“I agree. Has nothing to do with the weights OP mentioned.”
“I wouldn’t want a ‘skinny’ girl wearing a bralette to my wedding.” ~ SpiritSylvan
“I agree with you, but I think the reason OP mentioned it is that obviously a bosomy blessed woman is going to draw much more attention in a revealing top than a tiny woman who isn’t as ti*ily talented.”
“Ya know.” ~ SeekingTruth9
“There are issues with small boobs too.”
“I am not ti*ily talented at all, and for the most part clothes fit me well.”
“But there are some things I just can’t wear because my boobs don’t fill out the entire area allotted to the boobage, and there’s this ridiculous-looking extra material there.”
“It’s like a pocket that’s only half filled, and I look like a little girl trying on her mother’s dress.”
“Also, this often causes gaps in the material, especially if I lean over at all, and while I don’t have much to show off I don’t want the whole world to see it.”
“And forget about strapless.”
“Unless it’s skintight and I keep pulling it up, it’s just going to slide right down my chest.” ~ BaitedBreaths
“NTA – regardless of your shape and size, a bralette is not appropriate for wedding guest attire.”
“I would leave out discussing her being plus size when you talk to her as it has no relevance and will make you see a bit AH-like as though if she were slimmer it would be fine.” ~ Herps15
“NTA… though her being plus size or even having an A cup is irrelevant to this question.”
“The problem is the top (or lack of it), not how big her breasts are.”
“I will add that when you have large breasts, everything looks more low cut.”
“No matter what you do, blouses look more ‘sl*tty’ on women when you have large breasts.”
“Even a turtleneck still looks sl*tty!”
“So don’t hold that against your friend.” ~ Super_Reading2048
“Women’s clothes shouldn’t be regulated, but this is more of a question of what’s appropriate for the occasion.”
“I agree that bralettes as wedding guest attire are completely inappropriate no matter your cup size.”
“You normally have to have a small bust to fit into a bralette.”
“You have to actively scour the internet to find a bralette for a large bust… which means it’s rare…and also means the likelihood that the one in the store that was being sold with the skirt probably didn’t fit her proportionately or appropriately to be wedding attire.”
“OP stated that both her friend AND her were quite busty.”
“There is no way that she could just stroll into a store as a busty woman and just magically find a bralette and matching formal skirt that just so happens to fit her.”
“No. She definitely had boobage hanging out of both sides and was in denial.”
“I am saying all of this as a woman who is a 34G.”
“I wear size small/medium/large tops all depending on how my boobs fit into them.”
“I’m not a large person otherwise.”
“I wear size 6 bottoms.”
“And yeah… busty women can make a turtleneck look sl*tty.”
“Not ashamed of that.”
“I would be ashamed of wearing a bralette and a skirt to a friend’s wedding though.”
“I would hope they would do me the favor of having me committed if I did.” ~ JessR467
“Also being well endowed, there are also NO purchasable bralettes that fit.”
“I have to alter and reinforce mine if I have any hope of wearing them.”
“Then ya gain weight, and all the hard work you put into them is useless because you have to start from square one.”
“I’m clearly here to whine, but OP is still NTA.”
“Bralettes are not wedding attire, but especially not an ill-fitting one.” ~ historygeek1453
“It’s your wedding, not a people of Walmart photoshoot. NTA.” ~ GothPenguin
“NTA. She asked for your opinion, and you answered her honestly.”
“You know what would be appropriate for your wedding better than her? If she didn’t want to know, she shouldn’t have asked.” ~ ChellaBella18
“No, she didn’t answer honestly.”
“She actually implied it would be OK for an outside wedding.”
“Her friend called and showed her the outfit. Very respectful.”
“Honest would be that top is not OK for my (or any) wedding.”
“Not, yeah but the wedding is indoors.”
“That’s not only being dishonest it’s implying it would ok depending on the environment.” ~ Sorryautocorrect
“Exactly! She asked and you gave your opinion. NTA.” ~ burgerchip
“NTA. It’s a wedding, not a bachelorette party.” ~ SomeoneYouDontKnow70
“NTA but I would just drop it with her.”
“If she wants to look like trash, that’s her problem, and no one will be looking down on you.”
“The thing about wedding guests wearing inappropriate things is that it never actually takes away from the bride.”
“All the other guests’ disapproval should be enough punishment for the offenders.” ~ LittleLemonSqueezer
“NTA. Sometimes I think couples come up with excessive requirements for guests because it’s a moment where they get to have power over other people, but… that’s not what’s happening here at all.”
“If something makes you uncomfortable at your wedding, you have every right to put your foot down about it.”
“Leaning towards NAH but I feel like common sense should take precedence over her wanting to rock a risky outfit at a wedding.” ~ Grand-Tension8668
“Size has absolutely nothing to do with that being an inappropriate outfit for a wedding unless maybe that wedding is ‘beach casual.'”
“I hope you didn’t mention size when you told your friend the outfit is not appropriate. NTA.” ~ katatak121
“NTA. Don’t just hint at the issue: that it’s a wholly inappropriate outfit to wear to your wedding.”
“Make that crystal clear to her.” ~ filthySPACErat
“NTA – hopefully she will respect what you said and find something appropriate to wear!”
“I got married seven years ago and one of the things people remember first about our wedding (after the delicious food and spectacular cake) is the best man’s girlfriend’s inappropriate dress.”
“Your friend does not want to be remembered from your wedding for being dressed inappropriately, and you don’t want her attire to be one of the memories people have from your wedding years later.” ~ Pretend_Amphibian_13
“NTA… just kindly remind her of the dress code.”
“Don’t say anything about her size.”
“Just say something like ‘Just touching base about the outfit you sent through, it’s lovely, but it doesn’t fit with the dress code for our wedding.'”
“‘Could you find something more formal? If you have any questions you can send me through more outfit ideas.”‘
“‘Thanks, can’t wait to celebrate with you on my special day.’” ~ That-new-reddit-user
“NTA. I believe you saved (if she listens to you) your friend from being embarrassed by looking tawdry at your wedding.”
“Wearing revealing clothes, underwear, lingerie, etc. in public is tasteless.” ~ Chloe_Phyll
“I think that the friend’s weight is relevant, but not because of fatphobia.”
“The point is that it is tough finding clothes to fit and flatter when you are plus sized/have big boobs, never mind nice clothes that make you feel good.”
“OP is pointing out that the shopping process isn’t easy for her friend, hence why she even considered a bralette in the first place.”
“Onto the judgment: NAH. OP is not unreasonable for saying no thanks.”
“The friend is not unreasonable because she ran it past OP first, probably knowing that it was borderline for acceptable wedding attire.”
“The fashion industry is the AH for its exclusionary practices (that’s an interesting discussion for another time).” ~ Mellifluous-Squirrel
“NTA. I would not bring her body size and type into it because it would be inappropriate no matter who was wearing it.”
“I’m surprised at your friend, though.”
“If I showed an outfit to my friend that I was planning to wear to her party, and she said, ‘Cute skirt! What top will you wear?'”
“I would immediately realize that what I was wearing was not appropriate.” ~ ritan7471
“NTA – to be honest I think you were saving her embarrassing herself and were being a decent mate by asking her the way you did.”
“If you felt like going above and beyond if she is still being weird in a couple of days, you could always message her and ask if she wanted to go shopping together for something to go with the ‘really nice’ skirt she found, etc etc.” ~ kruznkiwi
“NTA. You were honest with your friend, and you were looking out for the formality of your wedding. It’s understandable that you want your guests to dress appropriately for the occasion.”
“It’s not about body shaming or anything like that. It’s just about respecting the dress code of the event.”
“Hopefully your friend will understand and find something more suitable to wear.” ~ Folopokiju74677
“NTA… It’s standard to dress appropriately for a wedding, but a bralette isn’t the one!” ~ Ok_Bet2898
“NTA, it’s your wedding.”
“Simple as that.” ~ sheofsilence
Reddit understands your reaction OP.
It’s your wedding, your rules.
Some people’s clothing choices are just not appropriate.
Hopefully, your friend will eventually understand.