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Redditor Balks After BIL Refuses To Come Pick Up Free AC Unit Because His Wife Is Pregnant

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When it comes to family, we often help out no questions asked.

But what happens when, in the course of pitching in, the family member’s behavior just forces you to hesitate.

That was the case for one Redditor, who posted their experience on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.

The Original Poster (OP), known as ponlaluz on the site, drilled down into details right in the title. 

“AITA for expecting my BIL to pickup a free AC unit when his wife is pregnant”

It all began with some good old fashioned family hand me downs.

“My sister is pregnant and her and my BIL were looking to get an AC unit for their bedroom window, I happened to have one I wasn’t using so I said they could have it.”

But then came the hard part: getting the thing over there. 

“I forgot about it for a while and then I got a text from BIL asking about it, I said sure I’ll dig it out today.”

“After doing so I texted back asking when he’d be by to pick it up, and he was shocked that I wasn’t going to bring it to their house ‘because of [sister, being pregnant].’ ”

To OP, that was utterly puzzling.

“I said I don’t understand what that has to do with anything because I’m not expecting her to be the one to come get the unit, and did I mention it was free?”

And it went further than that.

“Now BIL is flaking and saying I should just bring it the next time I visit. AITA?”

OP also shared a brief extra detail in an edit to the original post.

“Edit: it’s a 20 minute drive one way. The unit is rather heavy so I’d rather not have to haul it anywhere past digging it out of storage.”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Most Redditors were adamant that OP was not the a**hole at all. 

To many, it was an open and shut case. 

“NTA. Your BIL is a choosing beggar. It’s not enough that he’s getting a free AC unit, he expects you to deliver it as well. He’s not pregnant, so there’s nothing stopping him from picking up a free AC unit.” — Consistent-Leopard71

“NTA. I’m not sure on what planet you could possibly the AH.”
1)”BIL and Sis need an AC unit.”
2)”You say ‘hey, here you go, free AC unit’ “
3)”They say ‘what? You expect me to waste effort and gas to pick up the free unit when I could drive to the store and pay almost $300 and still do the same amount of driving and lifting?’ “

“I’m just speechless. They expect you to save them money and do all the heavy lifting for them. Tell them to just buy their own unit.” — efgrigby

“NTA. Does BIL also expect people to open doors for him, give up their seat on the train, or rub his belly because his wife is pregnant? What a choosing beggar. I’m sure you could find someone else who would pick it up in a hot minute given that it is free.” — JeepersCreepers74

“Damn, at first I was like ‘oh yeah, I guess he doesn’t want to leave his pregnant wife alone for hours while he drives out to pick up the A/C’ and then I got to the bottom to find out it’s just 20 min?”

“WTF?? For it being free, he should at THE very least come by to get it. If BIL needs it so bad, I’m sure he can find the time.” — ryeonim

Some directed their thoughts to OP’s sister. 

“NTA based on what you have said. However, if BIL has a pattern of expecting other people to go out of their way to help him, and makes little effort to be a helpful person himself, then your sister has married a lazy A H, and the only thing you need to consider is whether you have the time and emotional energy to take the unit to her, for her sake.”

“If this is uncharacteristic of your BIL, then maybe ask him what’s up. Maybe he is working long hours or a second job or something and just has no capacity to come to you.” — Allimack

“NTA but your sister is the one getting screwed here. Maybe he is incapable of installing it and wants you to but doesn’t want to ask. I would call your sister and make sure she’s ok and there is t something else she needs and if she’s doing ok.”

“He knocked your sister up and she should be stepping up to make sure she and his child are comfortable and not in extreme temperatures this summer. But she’s your sister and despite him being the AH her well-being is priority here.” — hk83d

A few even suggested a back channel.

“NTA, although I’d just casually mention to her that you dug out your ac and it’s ready whenever BIL wants to come pick it up. Chances are she either doesn’t know or was told something different by her husband.” — taedrel

“Wow, BIL is being lazy and inconsiderate to his wife. You might mention to your sister that you have your AC unit ready for her husband to pick up so he can install it for her anytime, and you hope she’ll be more comfortable being able to escape the heat. NTA” — ParsimoniousSalad

Some offered a few relevant anecdotes of their own. 

“NTA. I’m currently super pregnant and was just part of the heat wave in the west and somehow my husband managed to go pick up not one, but TWO air conditioners for us. He must be super man or something because as I said, I am pregnant.” — TheRestForTheWicked

“My sister lives in the Pacific Northwest where we had record setting temperatures. When all the stores were out of any kind of ac units, she went online to ask friends if they had one. One of her friends did and she drove 3 hours 1 way and was nothing but apriciative.” — OwlMassive7381

“NTA. Your BIL is being pathetic. I drove 20 minutes one-way tonight because I wanted Indian food. To get something that would make my pregnant wife more comfortable? I’d be at your door before one episode of Frasier was completely over.” — icecreampenis

Looks it’s either OP’s brother-in-law goes to get the A/C or it’s not going anywhere. At least no to their house. 

Written by Eric Spring

Eric Spring lives in New York City. He has poor vision and cooks a good egg. Most of his money is spent on live music and produce. He usually wears plain, solid color sweatshirts without hoods because he assumes loud patterns make people expect something big. Typically, he'll bypass a handshake and go straight for the hug.